Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Amicable Divorce Attorney

Archives for December 2014

Dec 30

Adopting a Child Who Has Been Abused

Effective Strategies for Adopting a Child Who Has Been Abused

Sad boy stairing out of windowAdopting and providing a home for a child who has suffered abuse or trauma can be an extremely rewarding experience, but it can also be fraught with difficulty, causing anxiety and frustration. Here are some things to understand about children who have been abused, as well as some tips for helping them adjust to a new life and build a relationship based on trust.

The Effect of Abuse

Abuse can take many forms, from physical or mental abuse to neglect or abandonment. Many children of abuse have not learned how to develop a bond or attachment with others, either because the people with whom they would have bonded are a threat to their safety, or because those persons don’t provide a consistent frame of reference for healthy attachment. As a result, a child of abuse may not know how to form a healthy attachment. Additionally, the child’s behavior may be triggered by events familiar to the child, but not familiar to you, things as simple as turning up the volume on a television or stereo (something that may have been used to mask the sound of violence in the child’s earlier life).

Because a child of abuse has not learned any other way of coping with scary events, the typical response to anything new or intimidating may be “fight or flight.” As a result, a adopted child who has been exposed to abuse may be prone to violence or to simply disappearing, physically or emotionally (or both).

Strategies for Working with a Child of Abuse

An abused child has a history of insecurity and uncertainty. Here are some ways that you can help build the trust necessary to have a healthy relationship:

  • Establish and follow a routine—Consistency and stability will help break down barriers
  • Help your adopted child trust you by being a good role model—Trust is a two-way street. Children learn trust by observing trust, by being trusted.
  • Help your adopted child feel his or her emotions—Emotions that are not acknowledged don’t go away. If your child is angry, sad or hurt, let them express those feelings, but also let them know that they are loved.
  • Don’t take it personally—Your adopted child’s behavior toward you is not just about you. It’s a product of the child’s life experience. Stay calm and positively focused.

Contact Attorney Joanne E. Kleiner

Let us help you find a workable solution to a marital property dispute. Contact our office online or call us at 215-886-1266 to schedule a confidential consultation. We will help you stay focused on the issues that matter.

Dec 16

Divorce Proceedings for Same Sex Marriages

Divorce: Is It Any Different for Same Sex Marriages?

Unhappy gay coupleAs more and more states legalize gay marriage, and as time passes, gay marriage starts to take on many of the attributes of heterosexual marriage, including the reality that some marriages don’t work out. If you are a party to a same sex marriage and your relationship has irretrievably broken down, what’s the process for ending it? Does it look any different than a divorce between a man and a woman?

The first thing to understand is that marriage is a legally conferred status. Because of that, you must generally take legal action to change your status. So, if you were married in a state that legally recognized same sex marriage at the time, you must file for divorce to legally change your status to single. Your safest bet would be to file in the same state in which you were married, as those states yet to recognize same sex marriage generally don’t recognize same sex divorce, either.

Once the divorce has been filed, the process may look exactly the same as a heterosexual divorce. That was not the case before the Supreme Court ruled portions of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) unconstitutional in 2013. Before that decision, parties to same sex marriages did not enjoy the same federal tax benefits that heterosexual copies did. The IRS issued a ruling, however, after the Supreme Court decision, that same sex couples who were legally married (married in a state that recognized same sex marriage at the time of the ceremony) have all the tax benefits of marriage, regardless of where they live. That includes the right to take a federal tax deduction for any alimony paid.

With respect to the traditional issues involved in a divorce—custody and visitation, support and property division—the process looks just like it does in a traditional divorce proceeding.

Contact Our Office

Let us help you successfully resolve your family law problems. To schedule an appointment with an experienced Pennsylvania family law attorney, contact our office online or call us at 215-886-1266.

Dec 02

The Early History of Same Sex Marriage in the United States

Gay couple holding handsSame-sex marriage is now recognized by a majority of American states, as well as the federal government, but it’s been a long, hard fight. The legal battle for equal rights began more than 40 years ago. Here’s an overview of some of the major legal victories and defeats along the way.

  • 1971—Two University of Minnesota gay student activists apply for a marriage license. The request is denied and they file suit. The district court dismisses their action and it is appealed all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, which refuses to hear the case, allowing the lower court ruling to stand (denying the license request).
  • 1993—At a national gay rights march in Washington, D.C., a mass gay wedding ceremony takes place.
  • 1998—The Supreme Court of Hawaii holds that denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples violates the state constitution’s equal protection clause. The Hawaii legislature responds by passing a new law that defines marriage to include only unions between a man and a woman.
  • 2003—The U.S. Supreme Court holds a “homosexual conduct” statute in Texas unconstitutional, thereby invalidating same-sex sodomy laws in 13 states.
  • 2003—The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court holds that denying a marriage license request by a same-sex couple is unconstitutional. The state begins issuing same-sex marriage licenses in 2004.
  • 2004—Officials in five different states—California, Oregon, New York, New Mexico and New Jersey—issue marriage licenses to same sex couples, but are ordered to cease and desist by either the courts or the state attorney general.
  • 2008—The Supreme Court of California rules that same-sex marriage cannot be banned under the state’s constitution. In response, a Proposition is placed on the ballot and passes, making same sex marriage illegal. Similar constitutional amendments are approved in Florida and Arizona.
  • 2008—Connecticut’s Supreme Court strikes down a state statute banning gay marriage. The state legislature passes a gender-neutral marriage law the following year.
  • 2009—Courts in Iowa and the District of Columbia invalidate laws prohibiting same-sex marriage. The Vermont legislature legalizes gay marriage without a court battle, but the Governor vetoes the bill. The legislature overrides his veto. Maine’s governor signs a similar law, but it is repealed. New Hampshire and Rhode Island enact gay marriage laws.

Contact the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates

Let us help you successfully resolve your family law problems. To schedule an appointment with an experienced Pennsylvania family law attorney, contact our office online or call us at 215-886-1266.