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Oct 22

How to Negotiate a Divorce Settlement With Your Spouse

Tips for Negotiating Your Own Divorce Settlement

A pro se divorce is a divorce in which one or both spouses represent themselves. Divorce lawyers generally recommend a collaborative divorce as an alternative, but if you do represent yourself, there are certain strategies you can employ to help ensure a successful divorce settlement.

Research Your Legal Rights and Responsibilities

You and your spouse have certain legal responsibilities that cannot be negotiated away. An attempt to do so will result in refusal of the proposed divorce settlement agreement by the judge. It is also essential that you understand your legal rights because it is possible for you to negotiate them away.

Check Your Emotions

No matter how amicable, a divorce will be an emotional affair. A potential benefit to retaining the services of a divorcee lawyer is that it helps to eliminate the excess emotions. However, emotions are not necessarily bad. They are only problematic when you let them get in the way. Think positive. Get ample rest. Exercise and eat well, and if you ever feel overwhelmed, take a break from the negotiation in order to reboot.

Set Mutual Ground Rules

Negotiation should start with agreeing on ground rules. Determine when, where and how you will negotiate. Agree on a neutral site. Establish a timeline and a deadline.

Be Flexible

In order for a divorce to be amicable, it is important to be flexible and to work to ensure that any agreement benefits both you and your spouse. Keep an open mind. Brainstorm alternatives when there seems there are none, and be willing to concede at times. You both will have to.

Negotiate Based on Interests

A common mistake when negotiating a divorce with a spouse is bargaining from a position rather than what your interests are. If you focus on what is important to you rather than what you have a right to, you may relinquish your position at times, but you will likely gain more ground and at a faster pace.

Identify Needs and Wants for Both Spouses

Not only is it useful to negotiate based on your interests but the interests of your spouse. Wants are important, but needs are integral. If your spouse has a need and you seek to negotiate a settlement that does not meet that need, you likely will not be successful, and you will at the very least fail your spouse.

Know Your Finances

Another common mistake is not having a full appreciation of your finances, and it is not uncommon in marriages for one spouse to have much greater awareness of the money situation than the other. This lack of knowledge puts you at a disadvantage and could lead to a wide range of bad decisions.

Recognize Your Best and Worst Alternatives

BATNA and WATNA are negotiating concepts that apply to divorce settlements, and they are acronyms for best and worst alternative to a negotiated agreement. What if the negotiation fails? What are the worst things that could happen? The answer to that question is often enough motivation to help reach a compromise.

Determine Your Bottom Line

Determine the aspects of any agreement that you simply cannot live without. Explain those to your spouse and have him or her do the same. Make sure that your bottom line is realistic, and be willing to walk away if your spouse is not willing to reach a bottom line that is fair and practical.

Always Have a Plan

Have a plan in place even before you agree on the ground rules. Be open to the idea that your plan will change. Determine your bottom line, but try to recognize your spouse’s bottom line and all the areas in which you can be flexible. Also, consider contingencies for those times when things do not go as expected.

Protect Your Interests and Legal Rights

If you are considering divorce or if your spouse has already filed, the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner is here to help. Schedule a consultation with a divorce lawyer through which we can assist you in determining the best path for you and your family. To do so, you can contact us online, or call our Jenkintown office at 215-886-1266.

Oct 18

How to Split the Family Home in a Divorce Without Going to Court

Ways to Fairly Divide Your Home With Your Ex

Since a home is most people’s largest asset, it’s no surprise that property disputes are one of the biggest reasons for fights during divorce proceedings. If you are not interested in a court battle, it is a good idea to be flexible and talk about your options. Here are some ideas for how you and your estranged spouse can fairly divide your family home.

Exchanging the House for Other Assets

The first thing to recognize is that it’s not technically necessary to split the house. During a divorce, you are splitting all the assets you and your partner contributed to. So if one person really loves the house and the other person doesn’t care at all, it may be worthwhile to just let that person have the house. To keep asset division fair, your divorce lawyer might suggest that the other spouse gets things like a bigger portion of a retirement fund, more of the joint savings account, or possession of other property. This solution works best in cases where couples have a lot of assets, so a house is just one of the many things to negotiate. It may not be possible if all your funds are tied up in the value of your home.

One Partner Buying Out the Other’s Share

This option is popular in a divorce where you want to split all assets down the middle, but one partner wants the house more than the other does. On the surface, it’s a simple thing that involves one person giving away some of their personal funds, while the other person gets full control of the house. The tricky part is determining the value of the house. Some people may want to get half of the full market value of the house. Others may be fine just getting half of the original cost of the house or half of what they both paid into the house over the years. When negotiating this, it may be necessary for the seller to decide whether their goal is maximum profit or just recouping a little costs and escaping the responsibilities of home ownership.

Continuing to Co-Own the House

Sometimes, either partner selling their share just doesn’t work. Often, people want to wait to sell until market conditions improve or until their kids move out of the home. Keeping your finances entangled can be a little tricky. It’s a good idea to get help from a divorce mediation practitioner who can assist you with navigating all the emotions and financial disagreements involved in co-owning a house after divorce. You will need to be able to handle things like splitting the cost of repairs and agreeing on who gets to spend time in the house. Keep in mind that you will each technically be responsible for the full cost of the mortgage, so it can make it hard to get credit for things like car purchases.

Selling the House and Splitting the Profits

Selling the house, subtracting all costs, and then dividing the profits into two equal shares is a fairly simple way of dealing with the conflict. Though actually preparing the house and selling it takes time, this agreement reduces arguments and gives each person money to start their new life. This is actually the solution the courts usually recommend if the two spouses cannot agree on who gets the house. However, going through the court takes extra time, and then you would have a rushed sale that might not net the highest cost. Therefore, agreeing to this solution can give you a little more time to find a favorable sale.

As you can see, there are a lot of creative solutions to the question of who gets the house. Having a divorce lawyer who can help you negotiate a clear and satisfying agreement can take a lot of the stress out of dividing assets in a divorce. The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner is here to assist people living in Montgomery, Bucks, and Philadelphia counties with their divorces. Call 215-886-1266 or fill out our contact form to learn more about how we might be able to help you.

Sep 20

Divorce Mediation May Be the Answer

Some Things to Expect From Divorce Mediation

Did you know that mediation can produce an agreement in up to 80% of cases? With the divorce rate at about 50% of all marriages in the U.S., this is a solution that has had a dramatic increase. There are some things to expect from a divorce lawyer during a mediation session.

Discussions With Structure

You will want a mediator who opens structured discussions concerning the division of assets, custody arrangements and payment of support. You will need to reveal your finances. Talking about your goals for after the divorce should be encouraged.

If the discussion goes off-topic, a good mediator will steer the talk back to the subject. Emotions may be high, and the session should not be used for counseling. You may want to bring any supporting documentation with you to the meeting.

An Experienced Mediation and Divorce Lawyer

A local and experienced mediator should be your choice. Since the divorce process is easier with those who have local knowledge, finding a mediator through the internet is not a good choice. A lawyer who practices in your jurisdiction will be the best source. An attorney will know the laws of your area and can help prevent costly mistakes.

Guidance From a Professional

In its origins, mediation did not include any guidance from those who ran the sessions. Many of the traditional mediators still use this method when conducting divorce mediation. Mediators may not give you specific legal advice, but they can advise you on how your case may play out in court. They know what is considered fair and the rule-of-thumb in your area.

Mediators will work with you and your estranged spouse with a focus on how to settle the differences that exist. There will be no testimony or legal arguments, and the mediator will not make decisions for you. You are always free to reject a proposal made by your spouse. The mediator will let you know which issues are not open to negotiation and will clarify anything you do not understand.

No Taking of Sides

A good mediator should be neutral, especially when dealing with divorce, when emotions may surface. This is especially important when discussing custody and support. If you think that your mediator has a bias, it may be time to find a new professional to conduct the sessions.

Something Not to Expect From Divorce Mediation

There is one thing you should be aware of. Mediation is not a way to gain an advantage over your spouse. You will not get better results if you are the higher-earning spouse. Mediation should not be used to keep your spouse from hiring an attorney for representation. If this is the case, most likely, your mediation will not succeed.

The Benefits of Divorce Mediation

The divorce process is never easy. However, divorce mediation may make it run more smoothly and less stressfully. Divorce can affect you both financially and emotionally. Mediation is usually less expensive than a litigated and contested divorce. Another advantage is that communication is more open, and cases may reach a conclusion more quickly. The goal is to find solutions that work for everyone.

In order to reach an agreement, you must be open to compromise and be willing to listen to your spouse’s point of view. Although you may not understand it, you can still listen. Listening closely may help you think of a new way to resolve the issue.

At the end of the negotiations, with some or all your issues resolved, you will have a written agreement. In some cases, a parenting schedule or plan may be included. If you have not been able to agree on all the issues, you will have to do so or let the judge decide after a court hearing.

We are your local divorce lawyer and can help you with the process of mediation. Our Pennsylvania offices are located in Montgomery County, Bucks County and Philadelphia County. Call the Law Offices of Joanne Kleiner at (215) 886-1266 or use our contact form to arrange an appointment.

Sep 16

How Do You Negotiate a Satisfactory Alimony Payment Plan?

Tips for Negotiating Fair Alimony Payments

As more and more women join the workplace, alimony rates have dropped sharply. However, alimony may still be necessary in some situations. To reduce the stress and hassle associated with alimony negotiations, follow these tips.

Know the Legal Guidelines Around Alimony

Before you even begin negotiations, it is important to know what you can and cannot do. In Pennsylvania, the law only requires alimony in situations in which one spouse is dependent on the other. There is no set threshold for what counts as a dependency, but it usually involves one spouse paying for the majority of the other spouse’s living expenses.

It is possible for someone to receive support after splitting from his or her spouse but before the divorce is finalized. This alimony has to be calculated with a formula determined by Pennsylvania law. For alimony after a divorce, there is more leeway in how it is calculated. The couple can come to an agreement on their own, or the court will consider the alimony petition and decide for them. The court will consider things like:

The length of the marriage
Each spouse’s earning capacity
Each spouse’s physical health
The standard of living during the marriage
Whether the custodial parent will be able to earn enough money
How many personal assets each spouse has

Check Any Prenups You Signed

If you signed a prenuptial agreement, one of the first things to do is go over the document carefully with your divorce lawyer. In most cases, you will need to stick to your prenuptial agreement during the divorce. This is generally the fairest and simplest way of determining alimony. However, either one of the spouses can ask the court to throw out prenup alimony provisions. If the court determines that the prenup would destitute one of the spouses, it may be thrown out. You can also get a prenup thrown out if you can show that there were irregularities in creating the document.

Gather Information About All Parties’ Incomes, Assets and Expenses

A fair alimony negotiation depends primarily on taking a close look at both party’s finances. You will need to consider which assets are shared marital assets that will be split in the divorce and which assets are separately owned and that each spouse gets to keep. Next, take a look at how much each person earns. In addition to current salary, look at income potential. For example, a person who was a stay-at-home parent for 20 years may find it hard to get a high-paying job.

Figuring out how much money each person has can help you see whether you or your spouse needs alimony. In addition to income, you also need to evaluate needs. Look at each person’s lifestyle, and try to determine how much he or she would need for food, shelter and other essentials. Remember that each person should, ideally, have enough to keep up with the standard of living he or she had before the divorce.

Avoid Extremely Unfair Offers or Other Rude Behavior

When negotiating alimony, try to keep it focused on the facts. Talk about how much each partner makes, how much each individual needs and whether each person is legally entitled to alimony. Unfortunately, this is often easier said than done when emotions are involved. Divorces can be fairly complicated, and many people are tempted to use alimony as a way of resolving hurt feelings.

This can lead to issues like one party asking for an abnormally high amount of money or offering an insultingly low amount. Alimony negotiations can further devolve if partners start slinging accusations at each other, engaging in name-calling or involving children in arguments. If you are worried that personal feelings may get in the way of fair alimony, consider hiring a mediator or working with a lawyer that has experience with these types of matters. This can help your negotiations proceed more fairly.

If you want a fair and satisfactory alimony negotiation, you need talented divorce lawyers on your side. The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner is here in Jenkintown to help with alimony and other parts of a divorce. Call (215) 886-1266 or fill out our online contact form to schedule a consultation now.

Aug 20

Mediation and Children’s Emotional Health

Divorce can be a contentious and emotionally fraught process that has a lasting impact on everyone. When there are children involved, the way that the parents interact during the divorce process can leave long-lasting emotional effects. Mediation can provide a way for parents to work towards resolving child custody, support, and other related issues in a more amicable way, modeling positive conflict resolution for their children and putting the children’s best interests first.

How Does Mediation Work?

Mediation works by having both parties to a divorce work with a neutral third party to resolve their issues and reach a divorce agreement. Both spouses can have their own divorce lawyer to support them, but the neutral third party listens to each side on the issues and helps them find a solution that both can agree on.

Even couples who might not get along very well, in general, can find it beneficial to have that third party present to listen and help as it can make the divorce process run its course faster, and it can also be less costly. Working together to resolve these issues instead of fighting in court can also reduce the tension between the parties. A faster and more peaceful resolution to the divorce is particularly important during the COVID-19 pandemic when the tension in some households has risen so much that it ended in abuse. Resolving a divorce quickly and without acrimony can be particularly helpful when there are children involved who will be affected by their parents’ interactions during this period.

How Mediation Can Benefit Children in the Middle of a Divorce

Divorce is a highly emotional process for everyone involved. Parents might become so consumed in their battle with each other that they might not even perceive how their children are being affected by this and how these effects will have a long-lasting impact on their emotional health. However, when parents decide that mediation is the right path towards divorce, they will need to sit down together, put their emotional issues aside, and work towards finding a way forward. During mediation, parents not only discuss the division of property. They can resolve many issues including custody and visitation, parenting plans, child support, and tax issues related to the children.

With the support of the mediator and each parent’s respective divorce lawyer, parents can model more positive behavior towards conflict resolutions that show their children that divorce does not mean the end of the family and that, even as their marriage is ending, parents are thinking first of what is best for their children.

Helping Your Children During Divorce

The dissolution of marriage is a time where children can experience anger and grief as they face what can seem to them to be the end of their family. They might act out and struggle at home and in school during this period. There are many ways you can help your children cope through and after divorce. They need both parents actively involved in their lives. Working together through mediation to reach an agreement on child-related issues can show the children that both parents are committed to them even if their relationship with each other has ended. Through your support, your children can overcome the many challenges they encounter during this time. You can offer your children support through a variety of ways, including:

listening to their fears and concerns about the future
being patient with their own process of grief
providing routines and stability
modeling positive interactions between parents
encouraging and supporting the time the child spends with the other parent

If you are a parent who is getting divorced and would like to explore the option of mediation to resolve your issues, contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner for assistance. You can call us at 215-885-1266 to schedule an appointment in our Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, office.