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Sep 13

What to Do When Mediation Doesn’t Work

What Happens When Mediation Fails?

Research indicates that people are more likely to have a satisfactory outcome with their divorce when they use mediation instead of the courts, but this does not mean that mediation is the best choice for every couple. Knowing what to expect if your mediation fails can help you feel a lot more comfortable with the entire process.

How to Decide If Mediation Has Failed

When mediation does not go as smoothly as possible, your first instinct might be to decide it has failed and move on. However, it is important to take a breath and remember that it is still possible to use mediation even if you have had a disagreement or two. You may want to think twice about stopping mediation unless you notice one of these problems:

  • One person is constantly belittling or harassing the other.
  • Your mediation sessions go nowhere because you are sidetracked by arguments.
  • One party refuses to budge or compromise on any issues.
  • During sessions, one person never speaks or mentions their desires.
  • Belligerent tactics, like denying access to children or threatening to cut off funds, are being used.
  • One person repeatedly lies or fails to disclose important information.
  • Proceedings are being dragged out because one party does not want to divorce.

Considering Another Round of Mediation

Noticing problems in your current mediation session does not necessarily mean that you need to give up on mediation altogether. Sometimes, it is still possible to fix your mediation. You may want to consider starting fresh with another divorce mediation lawyer. Sometimes, no matter how talented an attorney is, his or her personality just might not be right for your situation. It can also be helpful to take a short break and get a more objective outlook on mediation. This can be a good solution when you and your ex really want the benefits of mediation but are just struggling to compromise and work with each other occasionally.

Trying the Collaborative Divorce Method

Mediation not working out does not necessarily mean you need to go straight to divorce court. Another useful option can be a collaborative divorce. Collaborative law shares some similarities with mediation since both procedures involve the two parties working together to find a mutually beneficial arrangement. However, instead of working with just one mediator, each party comes to the table with their own lawyer. This can be useful because you have someone to represent your interests and take your side in discussions. The collaborative divorce method also gets more input from other unbiased parties. You meet with professionals like child therapists and financial experts to discuss your situation and get more advice.

Moving on to a Divorce Trial

When there are things you simply cannot agree on, it might be time to take things to the courts. A judge can help find the best solution for any children and assist in dividing up assets in a fair and equitable way. Even when you do not agree on every part of the divorce, you can still file a no-fault divorce in Pennsylvania. This lets you have a shorter divorce time while still getting the court’s input on deciding important aspects of your divorce. Keep in mind that all your time in mediation was not wasted just because you are involving the court. It was still a valuable way of gathering information and learning more about you and your ex’s priorities and goals.

Find the Right Option for You With Joanne Kleiner

Whether or not mediation turns out to suit your situation, the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner is here to help. With over 25 years of experience, we have the knowledge and the dedication to try and get you the best possible outcome for your divorce. In addition to being a talented divorce mediation lawyer, Joanne Kleiner also assists with a variety of other family law cases. Call our office in Jenkintown at (215) 886-1266 or fill out our contact form to schedule a confidential consultation today.

Sep 10

Reasons Older Couples Get Divorced

Why Older Couples Are More Likely to Divorce

According to research from Bowling Green University, the divorce rate for those aged 50 and older has doubled since 1990. At the same time, younger couples are choosing to remain committed to their partners at higher rates. There are many reasons why older individuals may choose to end their marriages, and several of these reasons have nothing to do with hate or spite for their partners.

Parents Stayed Together to Raise the Kids

You may have chosen to stay together with your spouse to provide a stable life for your children. When the kids were fully grown and moved out of the house, there was simply no reason to stay together. It is not uncommon for couples to only realize how far they have drifted apart until after their kids have left. In these instances, there is nothing to distract them from the pitfalls of their marriages.

Women Have Experienced Greater Economic Freedom

Several decades ago, women were seen as homemakers while their husbands provided financial security for the family. Today, it is harder for employers to discriminate against workers based on gender. Therefore, you are more likely to create a greater level of financial security for yourself regardless of your gender. Ultimately, this economic security means that women don’t need to stay in an unhappy marriage for fiscal reasons. Men who initially stayed at home or otherwise made less than their wives may also choose to end a marriage if their circumstances change later in life.

Couples May Simply Want to Pursue Other Interests

There is a chance that you’ll live longer than your parents or grandparents did. This means that you’ll have more time to pursue your love of cooking, traveling or being a business owner. At some point, your spouse may decide that he or she wants to spend more time around the house, playing golf or relaxing on the beach. Eventually, you may decide that you and your partner need to be apart to make the most of your life. The good news is that uncontested divorces are fairly easy to navigate with the help of an attorney.

Health Concerns Could Lead to a Divorce

While it may be hard to imagine leaving a spouse over a health issue, being a caretaker is stressful. In some cases, the level of care that your significant other needs is more than you are qualified or capable of providing. There is also a financial component to caring for a loved one that can add even more stress to a relationship.

Even if you are committed to caring for your spouse no matter what, he or she could experience significant cognitive decline. It is possible that your spouse won’t even remember you, which may make it difficult to remain in a relationship despite your best intentions.

It Could Be Impossible to Overlook a Significant Character Flaw

People tend to start looking toward retirement as they enter their 50s and 60s. As there is less time to save for a comfortable financial future, it can be important to create and stick to a financial plan. However, your spouse may still struggle with a shopping addiction or other vices that are expensive.

These expensive habits could put your mental, physical and financial health at risk at the same time. Therefore, you may decide that it is time to safeguard your future and hope that your spouse will eventually get the help that he or she may need. It is worth noting that money or other marital assets may be divided in some fashion even if they are held in separate accounts.

If you are looking to end your marriage in a timely and relatively amicable manner, the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner may be able to help. Call our office in Jenkintown at (215) 886-1266 to learn more about uncontested divorces or get other insights. You can also send a fax to (215) 886-2670 for more information.

Aug 24

How Debt Allocation Agreements Protect Spouses

Do You Need a Debt Allocation Agreement?

The average Pennsylvanian has about $40,000 in debt, which is lower than the national average but still significant. During divorce proceedings, spouses often find out about thousands of dollars in debt to which they did not agree but may still be on the hook for repaying. Many family lawyers recommend a debt allocation agreement within a prenuptial agreement in order to avoid this scenario.

Pennsylvania Is an Equitable Distribution State

Equitable distribution is a legal concept that governs how marital assets and debts will be divvied. Pennsylvania does recognize a distinction between separate and marital property. If an asset is deemed separate property, the other spouse has no inherent right to it. Examples may include property:

  • Acquired prior to being married
  • Obtained after the couple is separated
  • Explicitly excluded by a contract
  • Received as part of an inheritance

Marital property includes all assets and debts acquired during the marriage. These can include credit card balances, loans, mortgages and so forth. Equitable distribution means that the courts will distribute those items in an equitable manner — in other words, what a judge deems fair and reasonable.

What If Your Distribution Is Not So Equal?

Equitable distribution means fair but not necessarily equal. Unfortunately, a judge’s idea of what is fair may not be the same as yours. This is why prenups are so important in Pennsylvania regardless of what your financial status is at the time you enter the marriage. If your spouse spends thousands on Philadelphia Eagles or Pittsburgh Steelers season tickets without your consent, a judge is not necessarily going to view that outstanding expense in the same negative way you might.

Prenuptial Agreements

A prenup or premarital contract is a contract agreed upon by two partners before entering marriage. It can protect those individuals during the union and if it ends in divorce. These agreements are governed by general federal, state and local contract rules and must be in writing and signed by both partners. Prenups will usually cover any items found within a divorce order, such as:

  • Right to property
  • Distribution of assets and debts
  • Spousal support
  • Family business management
  • Insurance policy benefits

Debt Allocation Agreements

When many people consider prenups, they think of them in terms of assets. There is a stereotype about wealthy individuals using prenups to protect themselves from dishonorable partners entering marriages for all the wrong reasons. But prenups help you to protect your future no matter how wealthy you are. A debt allocation agreement is an aspect of a prenuptial agreement in which both parties are free of any debt that was not made jointly or lacks a signed document asserting the joint status. Many home-related loans require joint status, but if your spouse were to open up a credit line you did not know about and go on a huge spending spree, this agreement would protect you from those actions.

Is a Pennsylvania Court Required to Uphold a Prenup?

The Uniform Premarital Agreement Act was introduced to give individuals confidence that a prenup would be enforced while still allowing judges some leeway. Pennsylvania has not yet enacted or even introduced the act, so judges have much greater leeway. Still, courts will generally enforce prenups unless a spouse can prove the agreement was not entered into voluntarily, he or she had insufficient knowledge of the other spouse’s finances and behaviors during the marriage or the other spouse did not fully disclose assets and debts.

Protect Your Future

If you’re considering marriage or in the process of being married, we strongly recommend that you seek legal representation and take steps to protect your future. Many people have an impression that prenups are just for the rich, but this is not the case at all. At Joanne Kleiner & Associates, we focus on Pennsylvania family and divorce law and welcome the opportunity to consult with you on such matters. Set up your consultation with a family lawyer today by contacting us online or calling our Jenkintown office at 215-886-1266.

Aug 21

Ways to Protect Your Financial Future When Getting Divorced

Steps to Take to Protect Your Finances During a Divorce

Going through a divorce is an emotional process that leaves many people vulnerable to making mistakes and feeling defeated. When separating, it can be easy to forget about how your finances will be affected throughout the process. You’ll want to take a few important steps to protect your money and reduce the risk of loss while parting ways with your partner.

Close Joint Accounts

Any accounts that are shared between you and your former spouse need to be closed immediately. This will prevent you from becoming responsible for any debt that your partner accumulates after you decide to separate. Pay down all of your credit cards as much as possible and put the account in your name or your spouse’s name to avoid sharing responsibility. Attempt to negotiate splitting the debt with your spouse if there’s a remaining balance. If the balance is too high to repay in full, you’ll need to contact the lender and ask what is required to have your name completely removed from the account.

Avoid using the credit cards or account to acquire new debt, which the courts will require that you repay. The court will also require that any money you withdraw during this time will need to be repaid. Consider getting a post office box to ensure you receive all of your mail that contains your new banking information. This will prevent the information from being obtained by your spouse.

Requesting a copy of both your and your spouse’s credit report is also necessary. This will make you aware of any joint accounts and accounts that your spouse has open in his or her name. Your soon-to-be ex may have made foolish decisions with your money, which can affect your financial future. There also may be issues or errors present on the credit reports, which will need to be disputed.

Take Inventory of Your Assets

One of the most challenging parts of going through a divorce is having to divide up the assets and split it between both parties. In some cases where there’s a lot of tension, one of the spouses may attempt to hide some of the valuables or take them out of the home. Make it a point to take photos of everything that is shared between you and your spouse to have a thorough record of what needs to be split. Avoid selling any of the assets if you’re in need of cash as this can complicate the process of filing for divorce.

Making copies of bank transactions of large purchases that you’ve both made in the marriage can also allow you to have proof of what needs to be divided.

Alimony

Many people request alimony, which is taxable income. Attempt to work with your former spouse and legal counsel to agree on an amount of money that can be provided but won’t be listed as taxable alimony. Alimony laws are also constantly changing, so you will want a legal professional to help. You may also want to consider getting job training before going through a divorce to ensure you can become financially independent and are capable of supporting yourself.

Hire a Family Lawyer

One of the most important steps you can take after you’ve decided to file for divorce is to contact a Jenkintown family lawyer who can review the details of your case. Look for someone who offers free consultations and can determine what you’re entitled to receive, whether it’s custody or assets. Hiring a Jenkintown family lawyer can allow you to be represented by someone with a high level of legal knowledge in the industry. Legal counsel will know the right steps to take to increase your chances of obtaining more money.

If you are preparing to file for divorce, contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner & Associates today by calling 215-886-1266. You can obtain legal representation and learn more about your rights. Our Jenkintown family lawyer will help you understand the correct plan of action to take.

Jul 26

Tips on Managing Emotions During a Divorce

How to Manage Your Emotions Through a Divorce

In 2017, there were 32,777 divorces or annulments in Pennsylvania, which is a 171% increase since 1950. Marriages, on the other hand, have been on the decline with an 18.25% decrease since 1950. You must learn how to manage your emotions through a divorce to ease the process and allow yourself to heal faster once the legal process is complete.

Write in a Journal Every Day

Journaling doesn’t get as much credit as it deserves; it’s an effective way of managing your emotions. Many people who try journaling are pleasantly surprised at the positive impact it has on their mental health and their lives. Writing how you feel lets you get the emotion out in a healthy way. Journaling prevents you from suppressing the emotions as well. Suppressing emotions is damaging because they stay in your subconscious where they will negatively affect you, often without your awareness. These hidden emotions can lead to self-sabotage.

See a Therapist

If you try these tips and find that you’re still struggling to handle your emotions, then you’ll need the help of a therapist. Don’t feel embarrassed or reluctant about seeing a therapist. Counseling doesn’t mean that you have a mental disorder. People can see a therapist whenever they need extra guidance in overcoming life’s hardships.

Celebrities and athletes receive therapy for various reasons whether it’s overcoming childhood trauma or working toward reaching the next level of success. Examples of techniques that may be used to help you without medication are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and motivational interviewing.

Stay Focused on the Legal Process

Resist the urge to get revenge on your spouse, and focus on the legal process instead. Some people find it helpful to count down the days until the divorce is finalized or until they can move out into their own place. Keep all important documents and information organized to minimize your stress and to ensure you get the best deal possible. You don’t want to forget to iron out a detail because you were too caught up in your emotions. Lawyers can help you stay focused on the legal process.

The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner has a Jenkintown divorce lawyer you can consult with to learn what you need to know about divorce in Pennsylvania. Divorce law differs from state to state, so it’s a good idea to communicate with a Pennsylvania divorce attorney.

Learn How to Respond Instead of React

Wait until you’ve calmed down before talking to your spouse. This helps you avoid yelling or talking rudely. You’ll minimize how many fights you have by no longer allowing yourself to react in the moment when you feel angry. Learn how to deal with your anger in a healthy way. You don’t want to lash out at others, but you don’t want to suppress your emotions either.

Ideas for dealing with your anger include:

  • Kickboxing classes
  • Walking or running
  • Weight training
  • Going to the park to enjoy the greenery
  • Drawing, painting, or any other artistic activity
  • Writing poetry
  • Writing about how you feel
  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Getting a massage
  • Meditating
  • Reframing
  • Developing a positive mindset

Have the Mindset of a Victor Instead of a Victim

Some people hold themselves back by getting stuck in a victim mindset. Yes, you were wronged, and you were treated unfairly. You can acknowledge that and allow yourself to feel your emotions. The key is to not dwell too long on those feelings because they harm your quality of life. Some people find themselves struggling to have a good relationship after the divorce because they didn’t let go of these emotions.

Another problem with the victim mindset is it gives away your power. When you choose to make yourself the victor, you reclaim and protect your power. You also open your mind to new possibilities in overcoming the problems that you’re experiencing when you adopt a mindset of being in control of your life.

Experiment with these tips on managing emotions during a divorce to find what works for you. A combination of techniques is best for managing your emotions. Each person is different, so maybe painting doesn’t work for you but kickboxing does. Trying new things is fun and helps to get your mind off of the divorce while relieving your stress.

Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner today at (215) 886-1266 for a free confidential consultation with a Jenkintown divorce lawyer.