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May 05

Tips for Successfully Sharing a Home With a Former Spouse

Moving on From a Relationship Without Moving Out

The overall divorce rate in the United States is anywhere from 30 to 50% depending on where you get your information from. Younger Americans are less likely to get divorced while older Americans have seen their divorce rates increase dramatically since 1990. However, you may find that you’re stuck sharing a home or an apartment with your former spouse for months after the divorce is finalized.

Make Sure to Create Your Own Space

One of the most important parts of sharing a home with a former spouse is ensuring that you have a space to call your own. For instance, you could choose to claim the guest bedroom that has the bathroom attached to it as your own little apartment. You might also consider staking claim to the finished basement that has its own entrance and exit. Even setting up separate sleeping arrangements on the living room couch can be enough to create physical space. Taking such a step can minimize the amount of contact that you have with your former husband or wife and allow you to process your emotions in private.

Don’t Expect to Rekindle the Romance

If you are still friendly with your former spouse, it may be possible to share meals, have movie nights or otherwise spend time together at home. However, it is important that you create limits as to how friendly you get with this person. If one person mistakes a kind gesture such as making dinner or sharing a blanket for an attempt to reconcile, it could result in hurt feelings.

Hurt feelings could lead to arguments that may make it difficult to peacefully share a home. Furthermore, attempting to reconcile when your former partner isn’t interested in doing so can prevent you from truly getting past a relationship and moving on with your life.

Keep Lines of Communication Open

Living with someone means that you are likely responsible for paying a portion of the rent or buying groceries. You might also be responsible for making repairs or ensuring that the home remains clean. It is important that you understand what your responsibilities are around the home and what your current housemate will be responsible for.

In some cases, it may be a good idea to create a formal lease or similar type of written agreement. Effective communication can help ensure that rent or mortgage payments are made on time or that the home is in good enough condition to be sold when the time comes to put it on the market.

Don’t Abdicate Your Responsibilities as a Parent

If your children are living with you and your former spouse, it is important that you provide a nurturing and positive environment for them. This means helping them with school assignments or comforting them when they are upset or nervous about the future. It is often a good idea for you and the child’s other parent to work together whenever possible to provide stability for your son or daughter.

Know That Help Is Available

The COVID-19 pandemic has made it difficult for people to do little more than go to the grocery store or take a walk around the neighborhood. Although you may not be able to venture far from home, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get in touch with a mental health counselor when you’re feeling isolated.

If you are being threatened by your former spouse, you can attempt to call the police or a local domestic violence hotline to get help. Those who are unsure of how to solve a problem with this individual can also call friends or family members for moral support or guidance. Finally, a divorce lawyer may be able to provide insight into what resources are available when you run into a problem of any kind.

When you need a divorce lawyer, feel free to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown by calling (215) 886-1266. You can also contact the firm by sending a fax to (215) 886-2670.

May 01

Lockdowns Have Contributed to More Domestic Violence

After COVID-19, You May Need a Divorce Lawyer

With the advent of lockdowns around the world, countries such as South Africa and France have seen a surge in calls to violence prevention help lines; France had an increase of 30% the first week of its coronavirus quarantine. Domestic violence in the home, often considered a safe place, has increased during this pandemic, according to the UN. Those who have experienced these issues before are now seeing more violence as proximity in quarantine with abusers is the result.

Increased Anxiety and Stressors

Loss of jobs, stay-at-home orders, having to practice social or physical distancing, the threat of being sick, and depressing, scary news all contribute to a general feeling of anxiety that has increased during the coronavirus pandemic. A husband or wife who was somewhat abusive before may now become increasingly violent or mentally abusive as frustration deepens. An abuser may withhold medicine, give the wrong information regarding the pandemic, get angry when help with the household is suggested, and be violent. Often, abuse takes the form of emotional and physical torment.

Staying Safe During COVID-19 Within Your Own Home

You may need to reach out to a help line or begin to think of distancing yourself from your abuser. This means leaving your home for a place that is safe from domestic violence. The next step would be talking to a lawyer who can help with divorce and separation, or, in cases without violence, mediation.

Keeping Your Family Safe During and After the Pandemic

You want your children to be safe from all kinds of abuse as well as the virus. If you are thinking of leaving an abusive situation, it is important to do the following:

  • Tell your kids the truth.
  • Say “I love you” to them.
  • Prepare them for a change of address.
  • Avoid blame.

Keep explanations simple. Acknowledge their feelings and let them be honest with you. Kids need to know that it is not their fault; however, if they have been in a stay-at-home situation, they may already know why you are thinking of a divorce. Having seen physical or psychological abuse close up, your children may not need explanations.

Separation and Divorce

With every household situation being different, you may need a customized solution that is geared toward important issues. You don’t need more squabbles when you’re trying to resolve your family problems in stressful times.

In some cases, separation agreements may be the first step in distancing you and your family from a chaotic home or one where a spouse is making life difficult. To add to the problem, being cooped up with an unhappy person adds to the chaos and disruption. It increases the stress that everyone is feeling during the pandemic. A new layer of stress has been added as people are now in quarantine together whether they like it or not.

As witnessed in China, the divorce rate reportedly spiked across two provinces as quarantine restrictions were lifted. Relationships were very affected by the pandemic in that country. According to Time magazine, the number of domestic violence cases in China reported to the local police tripled in February of 2020 compared to February of 2019.

If your partner is physically abusive and you have injuries, you should not let the fear of this virus prevent you from seeking medical attention. Fear should not also be allowed to prevent you from separating yourself from an abusive partner during the pandemic. You may now be at the stage, even if abuse is not part of your situation, where you are contemplating divorce. Know that you are not alone in this. Caring help is just a phone call or text away whether to a domestic violence hotline or to our office.

If you have experienced domestic violence problems or are thinking of contacting a Pennsylvania divorce lawyer, give the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner a call at (215) 886-1266 today to arrange a confidential appointment in Jenkintown. We can help you go over your options and move forward with your life.

Mar 13

Mediation Could Be Beneficial in a Divorce

A Happier Divorce Is Possible Through Mediation

Most divorce cases are actually settled out of court; only 5% go to trial. Divorce statistics show that nearly 90% of divorces that are mediated are settled successfully. Did you ever think of hiring a divorce mediation lawyer to make your divorce go more smoothly?

What Does Mediation Do?

Some think that settlement of issues is easier through an unbiased mediator who strives to have the two people reach an agreement. Divorce often brings up feelings of anger, but resentment and finger-pointing can actually make a divorce more expensive. Without the fighting, a more peaceful divorce is possible. As one of the most frequently used methods of navigating divorce, mediation has much in its favor. In fact, most divorce cases are settled out of court.

You’ll be meeting with a specially trained third party who is neutral. This mediator will work to help you resolve any issues that are related to the divorce. A quicker resolution with less stress and expense is the objective. Couples have the final say, which gives them ultimate control over any agreements. It is an effective alternative to having the final word on the subject handed down by a judge.

Improved communication is the goal of mediation. The divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who helps both parties come to a thorough agreement on various aspects of their divorce. It is often easier on the children since fights in court are eliminated. The couple divorcing may use a mediator lawyer or someone else well versed in divorce and family law. This method has several advantages, including:

  • Confidentiality is ensured.
  • Legal advice is still available.
  • The process is less expensive.
  • You and spouse control the process.
  • Mediation promotes clearer understanding.

Moreover, a mediated divorce is private where a divorce requiring litigation is open to the public.

Mediation Is Confidential

Often beginning with a phone call, the mediator will speak with you to get information regarding the family, your marriage and the issues at hand. At the first meeting, you may be asked to sign a confidentiality agreement. This might occur in a conference room or a comfortable office space. Everyone may be in the same room, or you may be meeting separately to discuss the issues in private.

Mediation Does Not Work for Everyone

If domestic violence is involved in the marriage, mediation probably isn’t the path to take. In addition, a mediator cannot order payments. Someone who wants to delay the proceedings or avoid paying support can be abusive of the process. They might agree to mediation in order to stall the divorce. In fact, if you are in search of decisions about support or other issues that need to be made early in your divorce, a court ruling may be the answer.

With an inexperienced mediator or one who is biased in favor of one side, this process may not work. A poorly drafted agreement can be challenged, so it is important to find a mediation lawyer with a thorough knowledge of family and divorce law.

Who Does Mediation Work Best For?

Two people who are able to show up and work toward compromise are the best candidates for mediation. At the start, you may not agree on certain points, but you should not give up on the process. When both parties are committed to it, this method can often resolve issues that seemed impossible to settle amicably.

Without the fighting, both you and your spouse could be happier, even through a divorce. Moreover, the effect of a peaceful divorce is better for your children and their happiness in the long run. When everyone is on board and committed, this settlement process is a powerful tool.

If you are thinking of hiring a divorce mediation lawyer for the dissolution of your marriage, give the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, PA, a call. You can reach us at (215) 886-1266 or send a fax to (215) 886-2670.

Mar 13

Why You Might Want an Uncontested Divorce

The Many Potential Benefits of an Uncontested Divorce

After accounting for legal fees, court costs and other related expenses, it can cost up to $200,000 to end a marriage. However, an uncontested divorce may allow you to end your marriage for a fraction of the price. Let’s look at some of the other benefits of ending your marriage without putting up much of a fight.

There Is Less Chance for Conflict

A divorce can be one of the most emotional events that you will go through in your life. It isn’t uncommon to feel fear, anxiety and anger while you’re dealing with a separation. However, your feelings could cause you to say or do things that are aimed at hurting your former spouse as opposed to settling the divorce in a timely manner. By choosing to have an uncontested divorce, you can have a clean break.

From a legal standpoint, an uncontested divorce is a decree that neither party is fighting the separation. There should be no financial disputes, and both spouses must agree to the divorce.

Make Life Easier for Your Children

If you have children, the last thing that you want to do is put them in the middle of a protracted conflict with your former spouse. While you might not intend to hurt them, they could potentially hear anything negative that you say about their other parent. They may also see the ways you try to undermine your former spouse’s authority as a parent or personal dignity.

The trauma that a child endures during a divorce could linger after your marriage formally ends. If your child is now spending time in two different households, fighting with your ex will only make the transition more stressful. By minimizing the chances of conflict occurring during a divorce, you maximize the chances that you and your former spouse can work together for the good of your child.

You Don’t Have to Be an Open Book

In a typical divorce case, you are generally required to make significant financial disclosures. This information is used to determine the amount of alimony that you might get or the level of child support that you may need to pay. Furthermore, your spouse may enter text messages or other private messages into evidence.

By opting for an uncontested divorce, you don’t have to worry about other people exposing your secrets to the public. You also don’t have to worry about anything that you say to friends or post online being used to undermine your position in court.

Uncontested Divorces Usually Save Time and Money

An uncontested divorce can typically be settled for a flat fee to your attorney and to the court where the divorce takes place. In most cases, an uncontested divorce requires little more than submitting a few forms and making a brief appearance in court. The entire process can be completed in a matter of days or weeks.

Conversely, a divorce trial can take up to a year or more to complete assuming that everything goes as planned. The court may order that you appear to testify on certain days that are not convenient for you. Therefore, uncontested divorces are more ideal for those who can’t take time off work or afford suitable daycare for their kids.

Most Cases Get Settled Anyway

Roughly 90% of divorce cases are settled, which means that you are likely to resolve the matter outside of court regardless of what method you use. However, it is important to note that any parenting plan that you come up with will need to be approved by a judge before it can go into effect. This is because the court needs to be sure that the agreement is in the best interests of the child.

If you need legal assistance from someone who understands how uncontested divorces work, it may be a good idea to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner. You can call our office in Jenkintown by dialing (215) 886-1266. You can also send us a fax to (215) 886-2670.

Feb 18

How Technology Can Help Co-Parents Communicate Better

Using Software Systems to Improve Co-Parenting

One of the keys to a successful co-parenting relationship is communication between the ex-spouses as just over 50 percent of parents are remarried or recoupled. If conversations are respectful and professional, strife will be lessened, and there will be more harmony for the children. There is some help available for high-conflict situations in which the parents have difficulty communicating without fighting.

Third-Party Apps Can Help With Your Tone

There are third-party systems that can host communications between the parents. These are usually ordered by the court when two parties have a history of acrimony and conflict. All communications are done through the third-party system, and the parents are generally not even allowed to text each other unless there is some kind of a pressing, time-sensitive issue that cannot be handled through the communication system.

Many of these systems have artificial intelligence features that scan messages before they are sent to examine the body of the message. The system has the ability to spot words with a negative tone and highlight them before the email is sent. This gives the writer time to stop and review the message to make sure that he or she really intended to send a message with those words. Oftentimes, the writer does not realize that there is a negative tone to his or her message and needs some extra help to spot areas that could lead to trouble. The writer then has the ability to choose different words that may not lead to conflict.

Judges Can Access the Messages

All communications through these systems are generally saved and cannot be deleted. This means that in the event that there is a matter that goes to court, a family law judge has access to all of the messages and can easily read the relevant communications. This knowledge should help the parties learn to be a little more restrained when dealing with each other since these systems are the equivalent of not being able to take back a combative email.

Reduce Your Stress Levels With Better Communication

Even if you do not like your ex-spouse, these systems can help your communication improve to the point where the co-parenting relationship may become more civil. Less conflict can help reduce your stress level because constant arguing reaches a point where it can wear you down over time. Therefore, these systems are generally a great idea for increasing the level of harmony. In a worst-case scenario, these software systems are an extra layer of protection for you in a litigious relationship.

Other Features to Improve Co-Parenting

Not only is there help with communication, but there are also calendars and other features to improve all aspects of the co-parenting relationship. Many of these software systems even have banking features that allow for money transfers and other accountability tools to make sure that each parent responds to the other. The aspects of the relationship that have been chaotic can be managed, bringing with it some relief to struggling co-parents.

How to Implement These Systems

Your family lawyer can help you figure out the best strategy for adding this type of communication to your custody agreement. In some cases, the judge will order this software on his or her own when he or she sees that there is a contentious relationship. Of course, you can always seek a modification to your custody agreement that states that all communications are to be through a third-party software application.

These Systems Can Help You Get on a Better Path

In many cases, this is the solution that enables divided families to engage in better communications. Many co-parents have reported that these communications systems helped improve their overall relationships and created more of a sense of normalcy for their children.

These software packages are not free, but they are money well-spent when there is an improvement in your relationship. Any conflict or litigation that is averted means less time battling it out in court, so these can be worth your while. Therefore, if your ex-spouse has requested one of these communications systems, be open to considering it.

The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, PA, stands ready to assist you in either strategically avoiding court or litigating if it is unavoidable. Call us today at (215) 886-1266 to set up a consultation with our family lawyer in Jenkintown.