Archives for April 2018

Roughly 40 percent of children do not live with or see their father on a regular basis. Not having both parents in a child’s life can have a profound impact on that child’s ability to grow into a successful adult. However, there are things that a parent of either gender can do to make a divorce easier for a son or daughter to process.

Parents Shouldn’t Hesitate to Answer Questions

It is natural for children to have questions about the fact that their parents are no longer together. For instance, they may wonder why the divorce happened, if there is a chance of a reconciliation and if the divorce was their fault. Ideally, parents will reassure the child that the divorce was not his or her fault and that the marriage is likely over for good.

When a parent chooses to answer a question about the end of a relationship, it should be done in an age-appropriate manner. Furthermore, the answer should not paint the other parent in a bad light. Instead, it should focus on the fact that both parents are committed to being there for the child regardless of their feelings for each other.

Be Sure to Establish Consistency

If parents share custody of their children, it is important that they set boundaries and guidelines that are enforced by each person. For example, if bedtime is 9 p.m. at mom’s house, bedtime should be 9 p.m. at dad’s house too. A child custody lawyer may be able to help parents create a plan that can be followed and enforced at all times.

By creating boundaries, a child is less likely to misbehave or feel as if he or she can manipulate either parent. Parents are urged to stick to these rules even if they feel guilty about the breakup. While it is natural to feel empathy for what the children are going through, it does not mean that they do not have to act like civilized people.

Providing Distractions Can Be Helpful

Mothers and fathers can help their child through a divorce by creating distractions for him or her. For instance, a mother could organize a camping trip that lasts for several weeks over the summer. Furthermore, a father could organize a weekly trip to see a minor league baseball team to ensure that the child gets to see that parent on a regular basis. By giving the child something to look forward to, it can help a child adjust to his or her new reality without focusing on the negative event that took place.

Encourage Relationships with Both Parents

Children tend to do better in school and life in general when they have relationships with both parents. Assuming that this will not put the child in danger, be sure to encourage and insist on the child talking to the other parent as frequently as possible. Even if you feel like the other parent is unworthy of your attention, your focus should be on the child and his or her needs while growing up.

Take Care of Yourself

You cannot rely on your children to take care of your emotional needs after the divorce. Instead, you may want to find a therapist or some other source to vent to when you are feeling angry or upset. This will allow you to put on that brave face for your children when they are around.

Focus on the Positives of the Relationship Ending

Although a divorce can be emotionally and financially challenging in the short term, there can be benefits for both the adults and the children in the long term. For example, you may be happier that you are single instead of being in a mediocre marriage. Your child is likely to notice that you are happier, and your son or daughter will also benefit from the lack of drama that took place at home. If you or the child was a victim of abuse, getting out of a marriage by almost any means necessary may be ideal for yourself and for your son or daughter.

If you are looking for a divorce lawyer in Jenkintown, PA, to help handle your case, turn to the law firm of Joanne Kleiner & Associates. Give us a call today for more information or to schedule a consultation. We can be reached by dialing (215)-886-1266 at your earliest convenience.

In a study conducted in 2003, researchers found that 74 percent of people blamed their ex for not doing enough to save their marriage. Research has also discovered that people commonly cite an inability to communicate as a reason why they got divorced. While mediation may not be able to save a marriage, it could make it easier for you to get what you need from a divorce.

Divorce Mediation Sessions Are Conducted by Neutral Parties

The goal of a mediation session is to get both parties talking without fear of being judged or ridiculed. To help facilitate this process, a neutral third party will keep tabs on the participants and take steps to guide the conversation. Both sides are encouraged to speak, and neither side is allowed to take personal shots or say anything that doesn’t help achieve a timely divorce settlement.

Mediation Can Cost Less Than Litigation

It may be worthwhile to consult with a family lawyer prior to signing off on a binding agreement reached during mediation. However, no lawyer is needed during the negotiations themselves, which can keep legal fees to a minimum. Instead, the parties to the divorce will work out their issues and come to an agreement that is best for them. By communicating openly and honestly, a resolution can usually be reached in less time than if a couple chooses litigation while avoiding some or all court costs.

The Participants Themselves Control the Process

When you decide to leave a divorce ruling up to a judge, you might not get a favorable result. Even if the result is favorable, it may not be what either you or the other party to the divorce expected it to be. By creating an agreement through mediation, you will know exactly what its terms are and have a direct say in creating them. As with a judge’s ruling, the terms of a mediation agreement are binding once they have been agreed to and approved.

Preserve Relationships with Parents and Children

While a marriage can come to an end, you still have an obligation to raise your child to adulthood. In most cases, this means working with the other parent to achieve that goal. By engaging in mediation as opposed to litigation, you can learn how to communicate with the other parent in a positive and focused manner.

This can show children how adults come together to solve their problems in a healthy way. If parents learn how to work out their issues with each other, it keeps the children from being exposed to drama. It can also keep them from being used either intentionally or inadvertently as pawns in parental conflict.

Talking Through Problems Can Bring Closure

Even if you don’t have children, mediation can still help resolve emotional or other issues that arose during a relationship. By getting closure, you may be able to learn from mistakes made during the relationship and not repeat them in the future. In some cases, those who believed that their spouse was the reason why the relationship failed will understand how their own actions could have contributed to its downfall. This insight can be helpful in future relationships.

Not All Issues Need to Be Resolved Through Mediation

It is important to point out that not all issues need to be resolved in mediation. For instance, you could decide to create a parenting plan with the help of a mediator while taking property division issues to a judge. You could also choose to deal with property division issues in mediation and ask a judge to determine child custody matters.

If you do work with your former spouse to create a parenting plan either privately or after consulting with a neutral party, those plans are still subject to approval from a judge. However, courts are inclined to go with what the parents feel is best as long as there are no significant issues with their chosen arrangement. Remember, a child custody agreement needs to be in the best interest of the child to be valid.

Parents or others who are looking to use collaborative law or other alternative methods to resolve a divorce can contact Joanne Kleiner & Associates at their earliest convenience. We practice in the areas of divorce law and family law. The phone number for the office in Jenkintown is (215)-886-1266.