Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Archives for May 2020

May 29

When a Child Refuses to See a Parent

What If the Child Doesn’t Want to See a Parent?

When parents are separated in Pennsylvania, the father will usually get about 28% of the time with the kids. However, some older children may be unhappy with this balance, and they may even want to completely cut out one of the parents from their lives. This feeling could be even more accentuated during the COVID-19 crisis when kids do not want to leave home.

A Parent Cannot Contribute to the Situation

The question is how far a parent must go in order to encourage their child to see the other parent. What’s absolutely certain is that the parent cannot encourage their child to not visit with the other parent. For example, they cannot suggest that the child stay home and not see their parent due to any COVID-19-related concerns. If that happens, it could be grounds for an alienation charge. This could even lead to a change in custody and other court sanctions against the alienating parent, such as contempt of court.

However, the parent rides a very fine line between hearing a child out and encouraging the situation. This places them in legal peril. One of the first things that a parent should do if their child voices a preference to not see the other parent is to contact a child custody lawyer for guidance. The current pandemic situation requires an even more delicate approach.

Have a Neutral Conversation

At the same time, the parent should know the reason why the child does not want to see the other parent. If it’s something that threatens the safety or well-being of the child, the parent should know what’s happening.

However, there is a narrow distinction between listening to the child’s concerns and being perceived as contributing to the situation. The parent should definitely have a conversation with the child to understand the roots of their concerns.

If the concerns do not involve the child’s well-being, the parent probably should encourage them to observe the visitation schedule and see the other parent. At the very least, it’s important to be seen as promoting a relationship with the other parent given the consequences for alienation.

What Happens If the Child Refuses to Visit?

This is where a parent ends up in a very delicate situation. Failing to make the child available for the visit at the appointed time in the custody schedule can mean contempt of court charges. On the other hand, a parent would hate to force the child into something.

In general, the parent should err on the side of making the child available for the visit. This is especially true during the COVID-19 lockdown when the court does not want to see parents acting unilaterally on their own. However, if the child absolutely refuses to see the other parent, there will need to be some documentation to keep the parent out of trouble with the court. If your child just simply will not go, you’ll need to send a timely message to the other parent. Try to take some video or recordings of the child’s refusal so that there is some documentation. You should also notify your attorney as soon as possible for guidance on how to handle the situation.

Will the Court Order the Child to Visit?

A family court judge will certainly want to know the reason why the child does not want to visit with the other parent. The judge may even bring the child into his or her chambers for a conversation without either of the parents present to get to the bottom of the situation.

The court is more likely to order a change in the visitation agreement in accordance with the child’s wishes if the child is a teenager. At that age, a minor has some more say over the situation. If the child is younger, the court may not decree a change in the arrangements absent some compelling reason to do so.

Your legal path may be fraught with danger if you are in this position, so you need to act very carefully. This may even be more accentuated right now by the fact that COVID-19 has largely closed family courts.

If you are having issues with your custody agreement, contact a child custody lawyer at the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, PA. Call us at (215) 886-1266 to schedule your consultation.

May 05

Tips for Successfully Sharing a Home With a Former Spouse

Moving on From a Relationship Without Moving Out

The overall divorce rate in the United States is anywhere from 30 to 50% depending on where you get your information from. Younger Americans are less likely to get divorced while older Americans have seen their divorce rates increase dramatically since 1990. However, you may find that you’re stuck sharing a home or an apartment with your former spouse for months after the divorce is finalized.

Make Sure to Create Your Own Space

One of the most important parts of sharing a home with a former spouse is ensuring that you have a space to call your own. For instance, you could choose to claim the guest bedroom that has the bathroom attached to it as your own little apartment. You might also consider staking claim to the finished basement that has its own entrance and exit. Even setting up separate sleeping arrangements on the living room couch can be enough to create physical space. Taking such a step can minimize the amount of contact that you have with your former husband or wife and allow you to process your emotions in private.

Don’t Expect to Rekindle the Romance

If you are still friendly with your former spouse, it may be possible to share meals, have movie nights or otherwise spend time together at home. However, it is important that you create limits as to how friendly you get with this person. If one person mistakes a kind gesture such as making dinner or sharing a blanket for an attempt to reconcile, it could result in hurt feelings.

Hurt feelings could lead to arguments that may make it difficult to peacefully share a home. Furthermore, attempting to reconcile when your former partner isn’t interested in doing so can prevent you from truly getting past a relationship and moving on with your life.

Keep Lines of Communication Open

Living with someone means that you are likely responsible for paying a portion of the rent or buying groceries. You might also be responsible for making repairs or ensuring that the home remains clean. It is important that you understand what your responsibilities are around the home and what your current housemate will be responsible for.

In some cases, it may be a good idea to create a formal lease or similar type of written agreement. Effective communication can help ensure that rent or mortgage payments are made on time or that the home is in good enough condition to be sold when the time comes to put it on the market.

Don’t Abdicate Your Responsibilities as a Parent

If your children are living with you and your former spouse, it is important that you provide a nurturing and positive environment for them. This means helping them with school assignments or comforting them when they are upset or nervous about the future. It is often a good idea for you and the child’s other parent to work together whenever possible to provide stability for your son or daughter.

Know That Help Is Available

The COVID-19 pandemic has made it difficult for people to do little more than go to the grocery store or take a walk around the neighborhood. Although you may not be able to venture far from home, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get in touch with a mental health counselor when you’re feeling isolated.

If you are being threatened by your former spouse, you can attempt to call the police or a local domestic violence hotline to get help. Those who are unsure of how to solve a problem with this individual can also call friends or family members for moral support or guidance. Finally, a divorce lawyer may be able to provide insight into what resources are available when you run into a problem of any kind.

When you need a divorce lawyer, feel free to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown by calling (215) 886-1266. You can also contact the firm by sending a fax to (215) 886-2670.

May 01

Lockdowns Have Contributed to More Domestic Violence

After COVID-19, You May Need a Divorce Lawyer

With the advent of lockdowns around the world, countries such as South Africa and France have seen a surge in calls to violence prevention help lines; France had an increase of 30% the first week of its coronavirus quarantine. Domestic violence in the home, often considered a safe place, has increased during this pandemic, according to the UN. Those who have experienced these issues before are now seeing more violence as proximity in quarantine with abusers is the result.

Increased Anxiety and Stressors

Loss of jobs, stay-at-home orders, having to practice social or physical distancing, the threat of being sick, and depressing, scary news all contribute to a general feeling of anxiety that has increased during the coronavirus pandemic. A husband or wife who was somewhat abusive before may now become increasingly violent or mentally abusive as frustration deepens. An abuser may withhold medicine, give the wrong information regarding the pandemic, get angry when help with the household is suggested, and be violent. Often, abuse takes the form of emotional and physical torment.

Staying Safe During COVID-19 Within Your Own Home

You may need to reach out to a help line or begin to think of distancing yourself from your abuser. This means leaving your home for a place that is safe from domestic violence. The next step would be talking to a lawyer who can help with divorce and separation, or, in cases without violence, mediation.

Keeping Your Family Safe During and After the Pandemic

You want your children to be safe from all kinds of abuse as well as the virus. If you are thinking of leaving an abusive situation, it is important to do the following:

  • Tell your kids the truth.
  • Say “I love you” to them.
  • Prepare them for a change of address.
  • Avoid blame.

Keep explanations simple. Acknowledge their feelings and let them be honest with you. Kids need to know that it is not their fault; however, if they have been in a stay-at-home situation, they may already know why you are thinking of a divorce. Having seen physical or psychological abuse close up, your children may not need explanations.

Separation and Divorce

With every household situation being different, you may need a customized solution that is geared toward important issues. You don’t need more squabbles when you’re trying to resolve your family problems in stressful times.

In some cases, separation agreements may be the first step in distancing you and your family from a chaotic home or one where a spouse is making life difficult. To add to the problem, being cooped up with an unhappy person adds to the chaos and disruption. It increases the stress that everyone is feeling during the pandemic. A new layer of stress has been added as people are now in quarantine together whether they like it or not.

As witnessed in China, the divorce rate reportedly spiked across two provinces as quarantine restrictions were lifted. Relationships were very affected by the pandemic in that country. According to Time magazine, the number of domestic violence cases in China reported to the local police tripled in February of 2020 compared to February of 2019.

If your partner is physically abusive and you have injuries, you should not let the fear of this virus prevent you from seeking medical attention. Fear should not also be allowed to prevent you from separating yourself from an abusive partner during the pandemic. You may now be at the stage, even if abuse is not part of your situation, where you are contemplating divorce. Know that you are not alone in this. Caring help is just a phone call or text away whether to a domestic violence hotline or to our office.

If you have experienced domestic violence problems or are thinking of contacting a Pennsylvania divorce lawyer, give the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner a call at (215) 886-1266 today to arrange a confidential appointment in Jenkintown. We can help you go over your options and move forward with your life.