Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Amicable Divorce Attorney

child custody

Jun 05

Negotiating custody and parenting

The Benefits of Positive Negotiations in Your Child Custody Case

Negotiating child custody can sometimes become contentious, even if both Pennsylvania parents want what is best for their child. However, a drawn-out, tension-filled fight is not usually in the best interest of the child. Going into child custody negotiations with a positive attitude and a desire to reach a fair agreement can set the tone for the co-parenting relationship and is full of benefits for the whole family.

Preparing for Positive Negotiations

Before the negotiations begin, tempers might be running high. You might even think that having the assistance of a divorce lawyer might mean that that is what you are preparing for. However, it is best to not approach this as a fight between the parents because this will become an obstacle to reaching the ideal custody agreement and parenting plan. Remember that a negotiation is a time for both parties to present their views and then to go back and forth as they reach an agreement where they each feel satisfied with what they are getting in return for what they have given up. Some of the ways you can prepare to have a positive discussion include:

  • Identifying your priorities
  • Having clear reasons for them
  • Being willing to be open-minded to the requests made by your child’s other parent
  • Listing the things you want your children to be able to keep to maintain stability and support

Positive Negotiations Should Focus on the Best Interests of the Child

This might sound like an easy thing to do, but when passions are running high, this might be forgotten. However, your child custody negotiations must remain focused on the best interest of the child so that all the decisions you make during the process are about creating the best environment for your child to grow up in. There are several things you can do to keep your discussions positive and focused on your child’s best interests. These include:

  • Discussing each parent’s priorities to see where they align and where they differ
  • Maintaining respectful, honest, and open communication
  • Committing to making decisions about the issues related to parenting your child
  • Avoiding discussion of personal issues between the parents that do not relate to the child’s upbringing

Positive Negotiations Allows Room for Creative Solutions

All families are unique. Therefore, each custody agreement and parenting plan must also be unique. Sometimes, this requires creativity, which positive negotiation allows. You can speak with your divorce lawyer about the parenting issues you and the other parent are facing in reaching an agreement to come up with creative solutions for these issues. This might mean working out a nontraditional agreement or even a special support agreement. The goal is to reach a fair arrangement that works for the family and that allows both parents to walk away happy. This will also lead to more commitment by both parties to uphold the agreement they have made.

Positive Negotiations Benefits the Whole Family

Positive negotiation provides long-term benefits for the whole family. This is important because even if you and your estranged spouse have decided to end your romantic relationship, you remain a family and connected due to your children. Some of the benefits of positive negotiations include:

  • Private space to resolve family issues in a way that works for all
  • The possibility of quicker resolutions and possibly lower costs to the divorce
  • An example for the children on how to resolve issues successfully and cooperatively
  • Evidence for the children that both parents remain committed to the family and to raising and supporting them in a loving way
  • Establishment of a positive tone for the co-parenting relationship

The result of your custody negotiation will have an impact on your life. More importantly, the results will have a significant impact on your child’s life. In that situation, you want the support of a divorce lawyer who can guide you through the negotiation process and help you reach an agreement that is ideal for your family. The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner might help you achieve this. Call us today at 215-886-1266 to set up an appointment to visit our Jenkintown offices.

Apr 08

When your co-parent is an alcohol abuser

Co-parenting With an Alcohol Abuser

Alcohol abuse is a factor that can lead to a Pennsylvania divorce. For former couples who have children and wish to co-parent, alcohol abuse might pose an additional challenge as it can constitute a risk to the children’s safety when a parent is under the influence of alcohol.

How Is Alcohol Abuse by a Parent a Risk to the Children?

Taking care of children is a demanding job. The adult responsible for the children’s well-being should be constantly aware of what the children are doing, what they need and what must be done to keep them healthy and safe. A parent who is responsible for the children but is under the influence of alcohol might not be able to fulfill those responsibilities. Instead, the children’s safety is put at risk. Some of the risks the children might be exposed to include:

  • Lack of adult supervision
  • Exposure to unnecessary and dangerous situations
  • Increased chance of suffering from child abuse or neglect
  • Riding in the car while the parent is driving under the influence of alcohol

How to Deal With Your Concerns

In most cases, it is considered beneficial to the children if both parents are involved in their lives even when those parents are divorced. However, considering the increased risks that can lead to harm for the children when a parent struggles with alcohol abuse, you might be confused about how to address this when you are trying to set up a co-parenting relationship.

It may be a good idea to speak with your divorce lawyer and share all your concerns. You should also keep clear records of any time the other parent was inebriated and where you felt their alcohol abuse could have posed a risk to your children’s safety. This can all be done in preparation for seeking legal channels to keep your children safe, particularly during a separation or divorce where the parents might be potentially sharing custody.

What Is Your Legal Recourse?

While you might want to continue supporting the relationship between your children and their other parent, you will also want to continue keeping them safe. You can work with your divorce lawyer to do this. As part of your custody agreement, you can request monitoring for the co-parent who struggles with alcohol abuse. Ideally, you want your co-parent to admit to the abuse, if they have not done so, and to seek a way to control it. Some of the ways a parent can be monitored for alcohol abuse include:

  • Participating in a 12-step rehabilitation program
  • Working closely with a sponsor who can support them in their journey to sobriety
  • Submitting to random testing completed by a third-party
  • Using Soberlink, a breath test machine that uses facial recognition and can send the results immediately to the other parent or an ankle device that measures the use of alcohol
  • Using an interlock device, which measures the use of alcohol before allowing the person to drive their vehicle, whenever the parent will be driving with the children

Supporting Your Co-parent Through Their Journey to Sobriety

Getting sober can be full of challenges. As a co-parent who wants the best for their children, you might want to support the addicted parent through the journey, encouraging them to take the necessary steps towards sobriety. However, you should also expect that there might be relapses and that those can continue to pose risks to the children. Keeping your divorce lawyer up to date with any developments is important as part of documenting the issues that might make monitoring necessary.

Dealing with a co-parent with alcohol abuse issues can be challenging. Finding a Pennsylvania divorce attorney who can support you and understands that your family is your priority might help you cope with the problems that alcohol abuse creates. Contact us at the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner for a confidential consultation. You can call us at 215-886-1266 to make an appointment to visit our Jenkintown offices.

Aug 09

The Benefits of Parallel Parenting After a Divorce

Reasons to Consider Parallel Parenting After Your Divorce

Although the divorce rate in the United States has been dropping for about 20 years, nearly 39% of first marriages end in a divorce. Many of these marriages include young children, and conflict around parenting and child custody is one of the primary areas of contention discussed with a divorce lawyer. One way that divorcing couples can reduce stress and conflict and minimize time in the courtroom is to create a plan for parallel parenting of their children.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting is a method of raising children in which the divorced parents minimize interactions with each other. Instead of arguing with each other, they focus their time and energy on their children. This is an effective parenting method when you and your ex-spouse have difficulty being civil with each other.

How Does Parallel Parenting Differ From Co-Parenting?

In a co-parenting situation, parents regularly communicate with each other, present a united front, and have similar rules at each residence. It involves a lot of cooperation and communication. Parallel parenting divides parenting responsibilities and minimizes interactions between the adults. By dividing responsibilities and following the plan, the parents may rarely need to interact with each other.

Who Should Consider Parallel Parenting?

Divorced couples who can’t seem to agree on anything should consider developing a parallel parenting plan with a divorce lawyer. Instead of focusing on problems with each other, this plan focuses on the well-being of the children. Minimizing interaction between the divorced parents also reduces stress and the amount of time that is spent in a courtroom.

How Does Parallel Parenting Benefit Divorcing Parents?

A parallel parenting plan allows both parents to remain active in their children’s lives. It minimizes the stress on each other and disruption for the children. A successful parallel parenting plan demonstrates that parents can focus on what’s best for their children instead of their disagreements, dislike, or distrust for each other. The plan creates guidance for common issues that are likely to breed conflict, such as where children will spend the holidays or which parent will deal with behavioral problems at school. A well-thought parallel parenting plan also makes it easier for divorced parents to move on with their lives after a marriage filled with conflict and arguments.

How Do Children Benefit from Parallel Parenting?

When parents establish a parallel parenting plan, children tend to develop fewer behavioral and emotional problems. They’re more likely to do better in school, develop strong friendships, and have positive relationships with each parent. Parallel parenting also helps children build better self-esteem, and they may be able to avoid feeling as if they were the cause of their parents’ marital problems or the reason for the divorce.

What Should I Include in a Parallel Parenting Plan?

A plan for parallel parenting should include as many specifics as possible. Although you can’t possibly anticipate every event or emergency that could occur with your child or ex-spouse, some elements that you should cover include the start and end of each parent’s visiting time, how and where your child will be exchanged, who is responsible for transporting your child, what happens if one parent misses or cancels their scheduled visit and when each parent has exclusive decision-making power. Some other aspects of parenting to add to your plan include who will take your child to medical and dental appointments, how to handle accidents and injuries, scheduling social, school, and religious activities, and dealing with behavioral issues and daily routines.

If you’re considering a divorce and would like to know more about parallel parenting, you may benefit from speaking with a divorce lawyer. Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, at (215) 886-1266, or enter your information into our contact form, and an associate will reach out to you to schedule a consultation.

Jan 19

Co-Parent Relocation With Your Child After a Pennsylvania Divorce

Judges Approve Relocations That Benefit Children

Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, Ph.D., reports that divorce within eight years of getting married results from disappointment, unmet expectations, financial problems, substance abuse, or even physical or emotional abuse. Divorce impacts your children psychologically, physically, academically, and behaviorally. Your children need a strong family, support system, and home where they are loved and can express their emotions.

Moving With Your Child After Divorce

Relocation under Pennsylvania law is open to interpretation, and it means you must modify or renegotiate child custody, time-sharing plans, and how and when you and your partner will each be with your children. Pennsylvania law defines relocation as “a change in the residence of the child, which significantly impairs the ability of a non-relocating party to exercise custodial rights.” Our family divorce lawyer can help you to mediate a cost-effective way to change your child custody agreement.

Notification of Interested Parties

Changing your child’s home address requires the signed approval of all who have access to the child under your existing court order or a judge’s approval. The relocating parent must formally notify all parties at least 60 days prior to the move. Co-parents must agree and negotiate a parenting plan that’s in the best interest of both you and your children.

Modification of Your Child Custody Order

The non-relocating parent is obligated to agree with the petitioner and negotiate new co-parenting or visitation arrangements or object to the proposed move by stating objections. If the co-parent or a biological parent objects to the change, the judge schedules a hearing. You should never simply move with your child because you can be held in contempt of court and ordered to return the child to your co-parent.

Relocation Hearing

The judge considers alcohol or substance abuse, DUI convictions, spousal or child abuse, and the contribution of each parent to the financial support of the child. Generally, it’s important to maintain a relationship with your child to be considered for visitation or joint custody, but an absent parent may be granted visitation or custody if the petitioning parent is not a good choice.

The judge will approve changes that benefit your child financially, emotionally, or educationally. For example, your child may benefit when you take on a higher-paying job. The judge may decide moving closer to family and friends increases your children’s support network and approve your move.

Mediation of Child Custody Issues

Our family divorce lawyer with more than 30 years’ worth of experience can help you to mediate a cost-effective solution to the modification of your child custody order. Agreeing on child custody issues and creating an amicable relationship between co-parents is best for your children. If you intend to appear in court with a lawyer, you’ll have to pay legal fees. A judge will consider the physical availability of the child to the non-relocating parent, including time-sharing, the distance between the homes, how the child will travel from one house to the other, and who will pay for the trip.

Competing Presumptions

Relocation with a child after divorce opens up the issue of child custody for all parties who are interested in each child. Competing presumptions allow a biological parent to seize the opportunity to gain joint custody or visitation that they, otherwise, did not enjoy. A DNA test determines who is a child’s biological father, but the judge has the right to decide that another man is your child’s legal father. A biological father can file for custody of his child if his wife is the co-parent attempting to relocate. If your child is a teenager, the judge will ask your child where he or she wants to live.

Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Call our family divorce lawyer at (215) 886-1266 today to schedule a confidential consultation in our conveniently located Jenkintown office. You can meet with us before you change your residence or respond to a petition from a co-parent who hopes to relocate with your child. Our family lawyer may be able to help you if you are a child’s biological parent who hopes to gain joint custody or visitation rights with your children.

Nov 22

How to Handle Co-Parenting and the Risk of COVID-19 Infection

Sharing Custody During a Pandemic: Navigating COVID-19 Risks

According to the National Library of Medicine, only 60 percent of children lived with their married biological parents in 2009 compared to 84 percent in 1970. This leaves about 40 percent of children potentially traveling between two households. As COVID-19 infection rates soar across the United States, this puts children and both sets of custodial parents at an increased risk of becoming infected or passing it on to other members of either household.

Sheltering in Place Contradicts Shared Custody Arrangements

The amount of COVID-19 cases is increasing in most states as of October 2020. Public health experts and local officials continue to recommend that people shelter in place in their homes and avoid close interactions with anyone from outside their household. Unfortunately, these recommendations are likely to contradict what’s spelled out in your custody arrangement. Your situation may become even more tenuous if you discover that your ex-partner’s household poses a serious COVID-19 risk.

Understand the Common COVID-19 Risks

It’s important to recognize what is and isn’t a COVID-19 risk. For example, if your ex-partner is a surgeon who operates on patients every day, or his or her current partner is an EMS worker who transports ill and injured people for 12 hours per day, several days per week, these are risks for COVID-19. Even if your ex-partner takes precautions, he or she does have a higher-than-average risk for contracting COVID-19 and bringing it home to the rest of the household, and possibly yours. In this case, your ex-spouse may say that he or she isn’t doing anything wrong, but you could petition for temporary full custody until a vaccine is available. You could also ask that your ex-partner self-quarantine for two weeks or get a negative COVID-19 test result before spending time around your child.

Take Action If You Learn About Risky Behaviors

You may also find out that your ex-partner isn’t taking the recommended public health precautions seriously. Perhaps your child told you that the other parent had a huge party with no social distancing. Maybe your ex-partner never wears a mask. These are high-risk behaviors that put your child at a much higher risk of getting COVID-19 and bringing it home to you after spending time with the other parent. If this is your situation, it’s important to speak with our divorce lawyer. You may have legal means of keeping your child out of harm’s way if you can prove that your ex-partner is endangering your child due to a disregard for public health measures.

Be Flexible During an Urgent Situation

During these times, you’ll need to be flexible. Perhaps your ex-spouse was exposed to someone with COVID-19 or develops symptoms and seeks a test. While waiting on the test result, they should self-isolate. If you find out your ex-partner is self-isolating due to COVID-19, it’s your right to seek a temporary halt to visitation.

What You Can Do After the Fact

If you’ve been sharing custody since the COVID-19 crisis was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization, you’re likely already stressed and fatigued. Now isn’t the time to let your guard down. COVID-19 will take advantage of any lapse in preventive measures. If your child comes back to your home after a weekend with the other parent, and you find out that the other parent is sick, you may be able to take action and protect your child under Pennsylvania law. The situation can be complicated because of HIPAA, but if you believe your child was exposed to COVID-19 by your ex-partner, it’s your right to have your child tested.

You need to make important decisions about the health and well-being of your child and family. The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner offers legal counsel to help you navigate these challenging times. To schedule a consultation with our divorce lawyer in Jenkintown, call (215) 886-1266, or complete our online contact form.