Joanne Kleiner & Associates

Divorce

Jul 26

Tips on Managing Emotions During a Divorce

How to Manage Your Emotions Through a Divorce

In 2017, there were 32,777 divorces or annulments in Pennsylvania, which is a 171% increase since 1950. Marriages, on the other hand, have been on the decline with an 18.25% decrease since 1950. You must learn how to manage your emotions through a divorce to ease the process and allow yourself to heal faster once the legal process is complete.

Write in a Journal Every Day

Journaling doesn’t get as much credit as it deserves; it’s an effective way of managing your emotions. Many people who try journaling are pleasantly surprised at the positive impact it has on their mental health and their lives. Writing how you feel lets you get the emotion out in a healthy way. Journaling prevents you from suppressing the emotions as well. Suppressing emotions is damaging because they stay in your subconscious where they will negatively affect you, often without your awareness. These hidden emotions can lead to self-sabotage.

See a Therapist

If you try these tips and find that you’re still struggling to handle your emotions, then you’ll need the help of a therapist. Don’t feel embarrassed or reluctant about seeing a therapist. Counseling doesn’t mean that you have a mental disorder. People can see a therapist whenever they need extra guidance in overcoming life’s hardships.

Celebrities and athletes receive therapy for various reasons whether it’s overcoming childhood trauma or working toward reaching the next level of success. Examples of techniques that may be used to help you without medication are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and motivational interviewing.

Stay Focused on the Legal Process

Resist the urge to get revenge on your spouse, and focus on the legal process instead. Some people find it helpful to count down the days until the divorce is finalized or until they can move out into their own place. Keep all important documents and information organized to minimize your stress and to ensure you get the best deal possible. You don’t want to forget to iron out a detail because you were too caught up in your emotions. Lawyers can help you stay focused on the legal process.

The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner has a Jenkintown divorce lawyer you can consult with to learn what you need to know about divorce in Pennsylvania. Divorce law differs from state to state, so it’s a good idea to communicate with a Pennsylvania divorce attorney.

Learn How to Respond Instead of React

Wait until you’ve calmed down before talking to your spouse. This helps you avoid yelling or talking rudely. You’ll minimize how many fights you have by no longer allowing yourself to react in the moment when you feel angry. Learn how to deal with your anger in a healthy way. You don’t want to lash out at others, but you don’t want to suppress your emotions either.

Ideas for dealing with your anger include:

  • Kickboxing classes
  • Walking or running
  • Weight training
  • Going to the park to enjoy the greenery
  • Drawing, painting, or any other artistic activity
  • Writing poetry
  • Writing about how you feel
  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Getting a massage
  • Meditating
  • Reframing
  • Developing a positive mindset

Have the Mindset of a Victor Instead of a Victim

Some people hold themselves back by getting stuck in a victim mindset. Yes, you were wronged, and you were treated unfairly. You can acknowledge that and allow yourself to feel your emotions. The key is to not dwell too long on those feelings because they harm your quality of life. Some people find themselves struggling to have a good relationship after the divorce because they didn’t let go of these emotions.

Another problem with the victim mindset is it gives away your power. When you choose to make yourself the victor, you reclaim and protect your power. You also open your mind to new possibilities in overcoming the problems that you’re experiencing when you adopt a mindset of being in control of your life.

Experiment with these tips on managing emotions during a divorce to find what works for you. A combination of techniques is best for managing your emotions. Each person is different, so maybe painting doesn’t work for you but kickboxing does. Trying new things is fun and helps to get your mind off of the divorce while relieving your stress.

Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner today at (215) 886-1266 for a free confidential consultation with a Jenkintown divorce lawyer.

Jul 17

Survival Tips for Living Together During a Divorce

Tips for an Amicable Divorce While Living in the Same House

When a married couple files for divorce, one person usually moves out of the marital home. However, there are times when the couple continues to live together during the divorce process. Some states require separate residences, but Pennsylvania is one state where you can still cohabitate during the divorce process.

Unconventional Living Arrangements

It may be unconventional, but many couples are choosing to live together until the paperwork is finalized. There are many reasons for a couple to cohabitate during the divorce process. In some cases, couples live together due to financial or legal reasons. For example, the law in Pennsylvania focuses on possession of the property. If one spouse wants to keep the house, they will stay in it and fight for legal ownership. Once one party leaves the property, they can often lose their rights for the home. In this situation, the property will be awarded to the other spouse.

In other cases, financial obligations are the reason that a couple continues to live together. If the split is amicable, they may decide it is cheaper to pay for one home rather than two separate residences. One spouse may not make enough money to move out and pay for rent. The couple can choose to live in the same house until it is sold or enough money is saved to move out.

If you are choosing to live in a marital home during your divorce, you will face some challenges. Whatever your reasons for sharing a home, there are a few ways to remain cordial during this process.

Be Cooperative

Despite these unusual circumstances, you want to treat your partner with respect. If you have children, this is very important to stay cooperative during the process. You may want to express your feelings about your spouse, but you must remain calm. It is normal to harbor some negative feelings, but you need to work through them and focus on being civil towards one another. You can create a healthy environment without any tension during the separation period.

Keep a Schedule

Communication is key to keeping a peaceful home with your ex-spouse. Once again, you need to think about the environment for the children. Divorce can be a difficult time for children, and they may not understand the reasons for your separation. You want to make sure your children stick to their normal schedule. Both spouses can decide on who will watch the children or take over certain tasks.

Discuss Finances

Financial problems are one of the main causes of divorce. If you want to live together, you will have to discuss the issues of finances. It is important to decide how the bills will be split between the two spouses. If you do not have any financial arrangement in place, the living situation will become tense. At this time, you may want to talk about spousal support as well.

Take Care of Yourself

During a stressful divorce, it is important to take care of your mental and physical health. You need to take time to recharge your batteries and find new interests. It is essential to schedule some time to meet friends, see a movie, or grab some coffee. You can turn the focus away from the divorce and spend more time focusing on you.

Need Some Help With Your Divorce Case?

There is no such thing as an easy divorce, and many of them are complex situations. During this time, there are many emotions involved. It can be difficult to make a logical decision. With a positive attitude and a supportive attorney on your side, you can make your divorce process less stressful. When you live with your ex-spouse, it can add to the already tense situation.

There are multiple elements and challenges for any divorce. You want to have an experienced attorney to help with spousal support, child custody, and other issues. You can contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at 215-886-1266 for a consultation about your Philadelphia divorce case.

May 02

The Pros and Cons of a Nesting Divorce Plan

Can Nesting Work After a Divorce?

An estimated 50 percent of kids in the U.S. will see their parents go through a divorce. If this is happening to you and your spouse, you may be wondering how to help your kids through the transition. One option is to set up a nesting divorce arrangement with help from a Jenkintown divorce lawyer. 

What Is a Nesting Divorce Plan?

Nesting is a co-parenting arrangement that involves keeping the family home and letting the kids live there full time. It’s an alternative to moving them back and forth between the homes of two exes. 

In this situation, you’ll rent another space or two if you have the budget. You and your ex will be the ones to shift where you’re sleeping. Here’s how it works:

  • When it’s your time with the kids, you’ll move into the family home while your ex lives in the rented space.
  • When it’s your ex’s turn to be with the kids, he or she will move into the family home while you live in the rental.
  • You’ll continue to swap your shared living arrangements until your kids are old enough to be on their own or you can no longer sustain the lifestyle.

Not as Easy as It Sounds

Even if you and your ex are the ones moving in and out of the family home, you’ll need to be on good enough terms to establish a parenting plan. On its own, nesting doesn’t take the place of a plan or your time-sharing agreement.

Finances will be one major factor. You’ll need to decide who will pay for what and how. In addition to creating a regular schedule, it’s important to also work out who will be in the family home on weekends and holidays.

The Benefits of Nesting

You may benefit financially by keeping the family home and renting another small space to share. Living expenses are typically the biggest cost most people incur following a divorce. Along with the cost for the living space, you will also save on utility bills, cable/internet and other general living expenses. 

The emotional well-being of your children is another benefit of nesting. Shared living arrangements can be a lot easier on kids, especially if you have teens. Even though teens will have a better understanding of the situation, they might not like adjusting their living arrangements. Keeping children in the family home will ensure that they go to the same school and have the same friends. This may bring about better mental and emotional stability. 

The Downside to Nesting

The downside to keeping the family house is that you’ll still be tied to your ex in a very real way financially. When you sell the house and take separate paths, you’re creating a clean break. Child support would still be a factor but just until the kids are grown. Keeping the house is a much closer connection. 

Furthermore, simple matters like paying the cable bill can become major arguments. You may also run into big expenses such as the home needing a new roof or experiencing a flooding problem. In many cases, ex-couples will have to find a way to compromise on the finances. 

You’ll also need to work out child support. This can be especially tricky if you’re living in the same place. Dealing with the finances regarding food and the other shared residence expenses is another sticky challenge. 

The emotional side effect of sharing a home may be a problem as well. Are either of you planning to date? Will you bring someone home? You’ll have to decide how to work these issues out. 

A Jenkintown Divorce Lawyer Can Help You Navigate Your Divorce

If you’re considering a divorce, then let us help. At Joanne Kleiner & Associates in Jenkintown, we can help you set up a divorce nesting plan or a split involving a complete separation. Call our office at (215) 886-1266 to set up an appointment.

Apr 29

Can You Benefit From a Collaborative Divorce?

Is a Collaborative Divorce Right for You?

Dealing with a divorce is never fun, but it does not have to be frustrating and upsetting. Thanks to the innovative techniques of collaborative law, it is possible for divorcing couples to compromise and find win-win solutions. While the average collaborative split is completed four times faster than a litigated divorce, there are a few things you need to consider before deciding if you want to go with this option.

What Is a Collaborative Divorce?

Before you can decide if you want to follow this route, it is helpful to learn a little about what a collaborative divorce is. This type of separation uses concepts from mediation and traditional court divorces. It involves each party getting their own attorney, signing a contract agreeing to work together without involving the court, and then meeting with financial, legal, and child care specialists to negotiate a mutually beneficial agreement.

Does Divorce Type Affect Collaboration?

If this sounds good to you, it is time to figure out whether you qualify for a collaborative divorce in Pennsylvania. In the commonwealth of Pennsylvania, divorces can be divided into three basic categories:

  • Mutual consent divorces where both people agree to the split
  • At-fault divorces where one party is in the wrong
  • Separation divorces where the couple has been separated for at least two years

Legally speaking, a divorce based on mutual consent or spouses living separately can be done collaboratively. By definition, an at-fault divorce requires a hearing before a judge to prove that one spouse is at fault. Therefore, you cannot get a collaborative divorce if you want to pursue this route.

Does Your Spouse Have to Agree to Collaboration?

Like the name implies, this style of divorce only works when both parties are willing to collaborate with each other. You and your spouse both have to agree to work together without involving the court. This means that you might have to put aside old arguments or hurt feelings. For the process to work properly, you both need to be ready to communicate with each other. A collaborative divorce is more likely to work when both parties want to cooperate with each other and focus on providing for their children’s well-being and equitably splitting joint property. Though a collaborative divorce is a great option, it usually will not work if one partner is abusive, does not want a divorce, or wants to make things unpleasant for their ex. If you try a collaborative divorce with someone like this, you may end up having to give up, get new attorneys, and settle the situation in court. 

Do You Prefer a Convenient and Cost-Effective Divorce?

The final step in deciding if a collaborative divorce will work for you is figuring out whether you want to receive the benefits of working with a collaborative divorce lawyer. Statistics show that a typical litigated divorce will cost around $14,000 to complete. The average collaborative divorce will cost closer to $9,000. If your main goal is getting back at your spouse or taking all their money, collaboration is not for you. However, you may decide to work with a collaborative divorce lawyer if you want to:

  • Save time and money on your divorce
  • Avoid a court case where you have to share personal information in public
  • Create an agreement that works for you and your family
  • Find unique solutions instead of having a judge give you a one-size-fits-all ruling
  • Keep a positive and emotionally healthy mindset
  • Avoid petty arguments and accusations

Situated in Jenkintown, Joanne Kleiner & Associates is committed to helping the residents of Montgomery, Bucks, and Philadelphia counties with the divorce process. Our lead attorney has spent over 25 years refining collaborative law and other techniques that help provide a more efficient, stress-free, and budget-friendly divorce. Give us a call at (215) 886-1266 or fill out our online contact form to learn more about how we can help you.

Feb 21

Common Mistakes That Can Occur During the Divorce Process

Mistakes That Are Commonly Made During a Divorce

If a divorce is contested or the particulars take a long time to finalize, the process can be a lengthy one; during this stressful time, a large number of mistakes can be made by either spouse. Each year, approximately 800,000 divorces occur across this country. While some of these divorces are finalized without issue, others go through turbulent events that are oftentimes caused by simple mistakes that could have been easily avoided.

Not Focusing on the Details of the Divorce

Many spouses who are going through a divorce try to disengage from the process as much as possible, which can create numerous problems. Any negotiations between the two spouses or arguments brought into court will need to be supported by myriad facts and documents from the marriage. Solely because he or she wants to get through the divorce quickly and without any additional distractions, there are times when a spouse may sign a divorce settlement without reading all the details. Of course, this is unwise. The agreement just signed might not be as it was described, and it may not be fair or equitable. Regardless of how anxious or weary you become, remember that focusing on the specifics is important.

This can also be an issue after the divorce has been finalized and child support payments are being made. If the right details about child care expenses aren’t recorded, the payments may end up being lower than they ought to be.

Making a Settlement That Doesn’t Take Future Events Into Account

When they are obtaining a divorce, many individuals focus on making a settlement agreement with their spouse that only takes the status quo into account, which means that the equitable split is made based solely on the current valuation of the marital assets. However, all sorts of future events could alter a person’s ability to live as she or he did before the occurrence. Some of the unfortunate possibilities that could take place following a divorce include:

  • A physical disability
  • A loss of a long-term job
  • A substantial depreciation of assets
  • Significant health problems in a child

Here’s an example. Suppose a perfectly reasonable agreement was made for paying future college expenses for a child, and it was based on a 50/50 split between the spouses. However, one spouse later loses his or her job and is only able to find work that provides a much lower salary. In this altered scenario, the original agreement may no longer be fair. A divorce lawyer can help design a settlement agreement with future contingencies in mind.

Progressing Through the Divorce Too Quickly

It’s common for spouses who are seeking a divorce to attempt to get through the proceedings as fast as possible. However, trying to rush this process can cause costly errors that lead to serious issues later on. When attempting to get through a divorce without unnecessary hurdles or roadblocks, various sound strategies can expedite the process. These solutions include arriving at a complete settlement agreement with the help of a mediator or an attorney and creating a parenting plan before going to court.

How Our Attorneys Can Help You During Your Divorce

The divorce process can be a difficult one to navigate without an attorney by your side. At Joanne Kleiner & Associates, a divorce lawyer can assist you by taking care of every detail of the proceeding from the initial filing to arguing your case in court if necessary. If you’re trying to come to an agreement with your spouse about how property is divided or what the parenting responsibilities should be, we can help you with these decisions. This should relieve you of some of the stress that invariably occurs during a divorce. If you find that you are having difficulties understanding what the divorce process entails, call our office in Jenkintown today at (215) 886-1266 to obtain the assistance you require.