Divorce and Family Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Divorce Lawyer Joanne Kleiner

Finance

Feb 15, 2023

The Effect of a Gray Divorce on Your Older Children

How Does Gray Divorce Affect Adult Children?

A “gray divorce,” also known as a “silver split” or “late-life divorce,” is a term used to describe when couples who are at or over 50 years old end their marriage. While this type of split was once a rare occurrence, it has become increasingly common over the last few decades. Consequently, the number of adult children whose parents are getting divorced is also increasing.

The effects of divorce on young children are well-known, but few consider the effects of a gray divorce on older children. Although adult children may not experience the same level of distress as younger children, divorce lawyers know from experience that children can still be negatively impacted by their parents’ separation long after they’ve become adults.

It Can Alter Their Views of the Past

Many adult children of gray divorces look back on their childhood and adolescence in a new light. While they may have previously believed their family was a happy one, the news of the divorce can cause them to re-evaluate their memories. Any positive memories of their family may become clouded with uncertainty and regret.

To help adult children with this, parents should try to preserve good memories. Go through old photos and videos together and reminisce about the good times. It can be comforting for adult children to know that their parents were once happy, even if things didn’t work out in the end.

They Might Feel Blindsided

Because adult children of gray divorce are often out of the house and don’t experience the same level of direct contact with their parents’ divorce proceedings, they may feel as though they have been excluded from an important part of their familial narrative. Feelings of anger may arise if they weren’t informed earlier or included in the decision-making process.

If possible, parents should talk with their adult children early on in the divorce proceedings. Explain the reasons for the split and allow them to provide input. They might not be able to change the outcome, but encouraging them to share their thoughts can help them feel heard and respected.

Relationship Anxiety May Increase

Adult children of gray divorces may also be more likely to develop commitment issues. Many are already married when their parents get divorced, and their feelings about their own marriage can be tainted by the news. They may have entered their marriage with their parents’ marriage as a model, and the news of their parents’ divorce can cause them to doubt their own relationship.

Parents can help their adult children cope with this feeling of relationship anxiety by reassuring them that all relationships are different. The divorce can serve as an example of what not to do and be a conversation starter on how to create a healthy, lasting marriage.

They May Have Financial Concerns

Gray divorces often come with a host of financial complexities as they may have amassed more assets throughout their marriage than younger couples. This can create a great deal of stress for adult children as they may feel an obligation to step in and help their parents financially.

Adult children may also worry about logistical issues such as wills, estates, and trusts. Parents should try to alleviate any money worries their children might have by showing them their financial plans and walking them through what will happen to their assets in the event of death or incapacitation after the divorce is finalized.

Overall, adult children are likely to approach their parents’ split differently than younger children. Understanding the unique factors that come with adult children of gray divorce can help parents best support their adult children during and after the process.

If you’re going through a gray divorce, reach out to your adult children and start the conversation; they may surprise you with their resilience and understanding. Then, contact a Pennsylvania divorce lawyer for reliable legal advice and support. With a trusted legal partner on your side, you can leave the details of your divorce to the professionals and focus on healing with your family. Call the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at (215) 886-1266 to schedule a consultation today.

Aug 05

How Will a Divorce Impact My Financial Future?

How Will Divorce Affect My Finances?

Money is among the top three reasons why people choose to divorce. Unfortunately, the process of divorce itself can cause significant financial difficulties for one or both parties, as net worth typically drops by at least 50%. Divorce has immediate, short-term and long-lasting impacts on your finances, but working with a divorce lawyer and using an out-of-court mediation or collaborative process may help mitigate the effects of divorce on your bottom line.

Paying for a Divorce

Using an alternative dispute resolution process helps you stay out of the courtroom during divorce proceedings. However, you’ll still have to pay for legal representation, court fees and other expenses related to the divorce, such as document preparation fees. Depending on the length of your divorce process, how long it takes you and your spouse to agree to terms and whether or not there are child custody issues, paying for a divorce may be a considerable expense. Some people need to take out personal loans in order to pay for these costs.

Increased Costs of Living on Your Own

During a marriage, the costs of housing, utilities and food are typically shared. Maintaining two separate households costs more than one larger household in most situations. After a divorce, at least one party typically moves out of the family home. If you’re the one moving into a new residence, you’ll have to come up with the funds for a security deposit, utility deposits and more.

Lower Standard of Living

After a divorce, your standard of living is likely to drop. You may have less disposable income for restaurants, clothing and other niceties. Many people have to downgrade their vehicles, move to a lower-cost neighborhood or a smaller home and forego services, such as cable, television subscriptions or gym memberships. If you were a stay-at-home parent, your lifestyle could change drastically if you have to search for a job after being out of the workforce for a while.

Decrease of Your Net Worth

Your net worth includes real estate, investments, vehicles, jewelry, cash and other items of value. In most divorces, those assets are split between the two parties. Your net worth may drop by 50% or more. If you must pay spousal or child support, or if the court awards your ex-spouse more than 50% of the marital assets, your net worth could drop even further. With a lower net worth, you might find it more difficult to borrow money for personal needs, take on a mortgage or secure a business loan.

Difficulty With Sudden, Unexpected or Large Expenses

Married couples often have two incomes, which makes a sudden or unexpected expense less of a catastrophe. For example, when a married couple needs to replace the roof on their home, securing a loan or paying for the roof with monthly payments or cash on hand is usually a doable situation. If you had to pay to replace a leaking roof on just one income, the situation could be more challenging. You’ll also need to consider how divorce will impact other large expenses, such as paying for a child’s college education, replacing a vehicle or getting a new furnace.

Depleted Savings and Investments for Retirement

Pensions, Social Security benefits, stocks, investments and retirement accounts are all counted by the court when determining assets. Your ex-spouse may claim part of your pension funds, leaving you with less money for retirement. Many people dip into their 401(k) accounts in order to pay for their legal expenses or to purchase a new residence after a divorce. Depleting your retirement account may incur penalties and fees, especially if you’re younger than age 59 1/2. Your emergency fund may be depleted, and restoring it on your income alone could be a difficult task.

If you’re considering a divorce and have concerns about the financial impacts, you may benefit from an appointment with a Pennsylvania divorce lawyer. Call the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at (215) 886-1266, or fill out our contact form to request a confidential consultation today.

Oct 28, 2012

Division of Marital Property in Pennsylvania (PA)

Dividing marital assets and liabilities in a divorce can be a difficult, challenging process wrought with financial concerns and clouded by emotions. It is helpful to understand the property division laws in Pennsylvania, so that you can make wise, sound decisions as you transition into your next phase of life.

Marital assets are divided equitably in Pennsylvania between the two divorcing spouses. This does not mean that assets, property, and liability are divided evenly. It means that they are divided fairly between both spouses. Additionally, the courts in Pennsylvania will take into consideration the contributions, both financial and otherwise by each of the divorcing partners.

Asset Valuation

Asset valuations, or discerning the value of involved assets, are determined in most situations at the time the asset is being divided.

General Points to Consider With Equitable Division

Length of marriage, degree of education, and age of divorcing spouses are all factors that the courts take into account when determining how to divide property. Additionally, the health, ability to earn a living, and the standard of living that has been the status quo of the marriage are all taken into account.

Pensions

Pensions that will be subject to equitable property division include the amount that was acquired during the time of the marriage up to the separation, in most cases. In some cases, disability pensions may not be considered as marital property.

Gifts and Inheritances

Those gifts and/or inheritances that were given specifically to one spouse during the marriage will generally not be subject ot marital division. Again, it will depend on the specifics of your individual situation.

Sacrifice of Spouse

Here the question becomes whether one spouse did give up a potentially lucrative career to support the other spouse in his or her career efforts or to provide a stable home for the children. If one spouse did sacrifice in manners like these, the sacrifice can potentially be compensated for and monetized upon division of property.

Custodial Parent and Children’s Financial Needs

This issue becomes especially important when a divorce involves a special needs child or a child with serious health problems.

Pre-Nuptial Agreements

Agreements like these could have excluded some assets, including a business, from property division.

Marital Misconduct

Although indeed troubling, misconduct does not impact equitable distribution in Pennsylvania.

Talk Your Situation Over With a Family Law Attorney – Abington, PA

In any divorce proceeding, equitable division can become a difficult, upsetting process. Having an experienced family law attorney who knows how to protect your rights and help you understand consequences of your decisions can make a world of difference in how you proceed with your life after the divorce. Contact the Abington law firm of Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates or call (215) 886-1266 to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney. We represent clients throughout Southwestern PA.