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Sep 26, 2012

Online Infidelity: Cheating Spouses on Facebook and Twitter in Pennsylvania (PA)

Social media has made the possibility of cheating a lot easier. You don’t even have to physically be present to cheat on your spouse anymore. Online cheating, or carrying on a virtual affair through sexting; illicit flirtations through Facebook, Twitter, or other social networks; risqué photo exchanges, or other online is growing at a troubling rate.

There are online websites like Ashley Madison, the dating website for men and women who are already married but who are seeking an affair outside their marriage. Additionally, porn-related searches on the web accounts for 25 percent of all search engine requests, with 8 percent of all emails being porn related. And sex is the number one topic searched on the Internet, according to NCPCE Online, “Current Statistics,” http://www.nationalcoalition.org.

The fine line between chatting and cheating can be easily crossed. How do you know when your spouse has crossed the line? What are the signs?

Your spouse becomes withdrawn and emotionally distant.

Your spouse is spending an excessive amount of time on computer, especially on Facebook, Twitter, or other social networking sites.

Your spouse doesn’t want you to see his FB posts. He or she may suddenly close the screen when you enter the room.

Your spouse is no longer talking about social media, though she or he used to enjoy talking about it regularly and often.

Your spouse always erases the browser history after using the computer, something that did not happen before.

Spy software can be purchased that takes screen shots, allows you to obtain a record of all things typed on Facebook, and obtain browser histories. There is similar spyware for cell phones that will recover deleted phone numbers, photos, and texts.

Talk Your Situation Over With a Family Law Attorney – Southwestern PA

Are you considering divorce? Talk to an experienced family law attorney who knows how to protect your rights and help you understand consequences of your decisions. Contact the Southwestern Philadelphia law firm of Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates or call (215) 886-1266 to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney.

Sep 15, 2010

Children Are Often the Victims in a Divorce

Children, especially young children, often believe a divorce is their fault. Parents involved in a divorce can find themselves focusing only on themselves, and forget that their children may be confused, hurt and scared.

Take the time to talk to your children, reassure them that everything is fine and that regardless of any differences between you and your spouse, both of you still love them. Some additional steps you can take to ease the prospect of a divorce on children:

  1. Take the time to explain to your children that any problems you and your spouse may be having are not their fault. Sometimes, a good approach is to explain to your children that people may sometimes have differences of opinion, and in some cases those differences just cannot be worked out.
  2. Do not argue or fight in front of the children. Remember, children are not deaf, they can hear, even behind closed doors, if the volume of the conversation is high enough.
  3. Do not bad-mouth your spouse in front of your children. Remember, he or she is still their parent too, and your children love both of you.
  4. Do not make your children take sides; they may resent you for that. They will also feel that they are being disloyal to you by continuing to love their other parent, and it is confusing to them.
  5. Never use your children as messengers or “go-betweens”.
  6. Constantly reinforce that everything will be all right, especially if the children are young.
  7. Make sure you don’t ignore your children. They need to know that their routines are not being affected (to the extent that is possible). In addition, any extra attention both of you can give to your children will help alleviate any fears they may have.

For divorces involving children, we suggest considering utilizing the collaborative law process for your divorce.

Collaborative law may provide you with an acceptable alternative to stressful litigation. The collaborative law process is premised on the parties working together to resolve conflict. The collaborative process encourages the parties to work together, with their attorneys, toward a mutual agreement that everyone can live with.

The collaborative law process is typically less stressful on children, gives you more control over the terms of the divorce, and is less emotionally taxing on you.

At Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, Ms. Kleiner is a family law attorney and divorce lawyer who brings more than 25 years experience in family law and divorce to the table, including collaborative law experience. She is uniquely qualified to help you understand your options, properly advise you and help you achieve your goals. To discuss your divorce or family law matter in confidence with an experienced lawyer, please call Ms. Kleiner at 215-886-1266, or fill out our online intake form.

Jul 14, 2010

Divorce Is Not Just About You

Divorce is an emotional and upsetting time. People going through a divorce are often filled with grief, anger, nervousness, pain and uncertainty. At times like that, it is difficult to think of others. Particularly when children are involved, however, it is vitally important to your family that you focus on the big picture when you are involved in a divorce or other family law matter.

Children will internalize their feelings and often will play off your behavior. Things you say in the heat of the moment may be permanently recorded in the minds of your children. Children may feel that they are being forced to choose between their parents, or that they are being disloyal to one parent when expressing love for the other parent. Moreover, when the dust settles, if you do have children, you will have to continue to co-parent the children for many years. In fact, the reality is that you will have to have some kind of relationship with your ex-spouse on issues regarding the children, as well as special events such as birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc.

If you can muster the strength to step back and see the big picture, your future, your family and your children, then you will be at an advantage and positioned to make excellent decisions. Remember, the decisions you make today will affect your life (and the life of your children) tomorrow. Similarly, the way you handle your conflict today will affect the relationship you have with your former spouse going forward. Your children, as well, will learn from the way you handle this situation.

During a time when emotions can get in the way of reason, it is a good idea to have someone you can trust, confide in, and will be your voice of reason during these emotional times. You need to make sure you understand the consequences of your actions, both the positive consequences and the negative consequences. If you have children, you will want to also make sure you understand the consequences to them.

Decisions about child support, child custody, visitation schedules and the distribution of property can all be related, and the decision regarding one, can affect the others. For that reason, it is highly advisable to retain an experienced attorney to assist you with understanding the legal ramifications of all your options and to advise you based on the knowledge and experience of your attorney.

At Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, Ms. Kleiner brings more than 25 years experience of family law and divorce to the table. She is uniquely qualified to help you understand your options, properly advise you and help you achieve your goals. To discuss your divorce or family law matter in confidence with an experienced lawyer, please call Ms. Kleiner at 215-886-1266, or fill out an online intake form.