Divorce and Family Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Divorce Lawyer Joanne Kleiner

custody agreement

Jun 05

Negotiating Custody and Parenting

The Benefits of Positive Negotiations in Your Child Custody Case

Negotiating child custody can sometimes become contentious, even if both Pennsylvania parents want what is best for their child. However, a drawn-out, tension-filled fight is not usually in the best interest of the child. Going into child custody negotiations with a positive attitude and a desire to reach a fair agreement can set the tone for the co-parenting relationship and is full of benefits for the whole family.

Preparing for Positive Negotiations

Before the negotiations begin, tempers might be running high. You might even think that having the assistance of a divorce lawyer might mean that that is what you are preparing for. However, it is best to not approach this as a fight between the parents because this will become an obstacle to reaching the ideal custody agreement and parenting plan. Remember that a negotiation is a time for both parties to present their views and then to go back and forth as they reach an agreement where they each feel satisfied with what they are getting in return for what they have given up. Some of the ways you can prepare to have a positive discussion include:

  • Identifying your priorities
  • Having clear reasons for them
  • Being willing to be open-minded to the requests made by your child’s other parent
  • Listing the things you want your children to be able to keep to maintain stability and support

Positive Negotiations Should Focus on the Best Interests of the Child

This might sound like an easy thing to do, but when passions are running high, this might be forgotten. However, your child custody negotiations must remain focused on the best interest of the child so that all the decisions you make during the process are about creating the best environment for your child to grow up in. There are several things you can do to keep your discussions positive and focused on your child’s best interests. These include:

  • Discussing each parent’s priorities to see where they align and where they differ
  • Maintaining respectful, honest, and open communication
  • Committing to making decisions about the issues related to parenting your child
  • Avoiding discussion of personal issues between the parents that do not relate to the child’s upbringing

Positive Negotiations Allows Room for Creative Solutions

All families are unique. Therefore, each custody agreement and parenting plan must also be unique. Sometimes, this requires creativity, which positive negotiation allows. You can speak with your divorce lawyer about the parenting issues you and the other parent are facing in reaching an agreement to come up with creative solutions for these issues. This might mean working out a nontraditional agreement or even a special support agreement. The goal is to reach a fair arrangement that works for the family and that allows both parents to walk away happy. This will also lead to more commitment by both parties to uphold the agreement they have made.

Positive Negotiations Benefits the Whole Family

Positive negotiation provides long-term benefits for the whole family. This is important because even if you and your estranged spouse have decided to end your romantic relationship, you remain a family and connected due to your children. Some of the benefits of positive negotiations include:

  • Private space to resolve family issues in a way that works for all
  • The possibility of quicker resolutions and possibly lower costs to the divorce
  • An example for the children on how to resolve issues successfully and cooperatively
  • Evidence for the children that both parents remain committed to the family and to raising and supporting them in a loving way
  • Establishment of a positive tone for the co-parenting relationship

The result of your custody negotiation will have an impact on your life. More importantly, the results will have a significant impact on your child’s life. In that situation, you want the support of a divorce lawyer who can guide you through the negotiation process and help you reach an agreement that is ideal for your family. The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner might help you achieve this. Call us today at 215-886-1266 to set up an appointment to visit our Jenkintown offices.

Apr 08

When Your Co-parent is an Alcohol Abuser

Co-parenting With an Alcohol Abuser

Alcohol abuse is a factor that can lead to a Pennsylvania divorce. For former couples who have children and wish to co-parent, alcohol abuse might pose an additional challenge as it can constitute a risk to the children’s safety when a parent is under the influence of alcohol.

How Is Alcohol Abuse by a Parent a Risk to the Children?

Taking care of children is a demanding job. The adult responsible for the children’s well-being should be constantly aware of what the children are doing, what they need and what must be done to keep them healthy and safe. A parent who is responsible for the children but is under the influence of alcohol might not be able to fulfill those responsibilities. Instead, the children’s safety is put at risk. Some of the risks the children might be exposed to include:

  • Lack of adult supervision
  • Exposure to unnecessary and dangerous situations
  • Increased chance of suffering from child abuse or neglect
  • Riding in the car while the parent is driving under the influence of alcohol

How to Deal With Your Concerns

In most cases, it is considered beneficial to the children if both parents are involved in their lives even when those parents are divorced. However, considering the increased risks that can lead to harm for the children when a parent struggles with alcohol abuse, you might be confused about how to address this when you are trying to set up a co-parenting relationship.

It may be a good idea to speak with your divorce lawyer and share all your concerns. You should also keep clear records of any time the other parent was inebriated and where you felt their alcohol abuse could have posed a risk to your children’s safety. This can all be done in preparation for seeking legal channels to keep your children safe, particularly during a separation or divorce where the parents might be potentially sharing custody.

What Is Your Legal Recourse?

While you might want to continue supporting the relationship between your children and their other parent, you will also want to continue keeping them safe. You can work with your divorce lawyer to do this. As part of your custody agreement, you can request monitoring for the co-parent who struggles with alcohol abuse. Ideally, you want your co-parent to admit to the abuse, if they have not done so, and to seek a way to control it. Some of the ways a parent can be monitored for alcohol abuse include:

  • Participating in a 12-step rehabilitation program
  • Working closely with a sponsor who can support them in their journey to sobriety
  • Submitting to random testing completed by a third-party
  • Using Soberlink, a breath test machine that uses facial recognition and can send the results immediately to the other parent or an ankle device that measures the use of alcohol
  • Using an interlock device, which measures the use of alcohol before allowing the person to drive their vehicle, whenever the parent will be driving with the children

Supporting Your Co-parent Through Their Journey to Sobriety

Getting sober can be full of challenges. As a co-parent who wants the best for their children, you might want to support the addicted parent through the journey, encouraging them to take the necessary steps towards sobriety. However, you should also expect that there might be relapses and that those can continue to pose risks to the children. Keeping your divorce lawyer up to date with any developments is important as part of documenting the issues that might make monitoring necessary.

Dealing with a co-parent with alcohol abuse issues can be challenging. Finding a Pennsylvania divorce attorney who can support you and understands that your family is your priority might help you cope with the problems that alcohol abuse creates. Contact us at the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner for a confidential consultation. You can call us at 215-886-1266 to make an appointment to visit our Jenkintown offices.