Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

divorce settlement

Oct 22

How to Negotiate a Divorce Settlement With Your Spouse

Tips for Negotiating Your Own Divorce Settlement

A pro se divorce is a divorce in which one or both spouses represent themselves. Divorce lawyers generally recommend a collaborative divorce as an alternative, but if you do represent yourself, there are certain strategies you can employ to help ensure a successful divorce settlement.

Research Your Legal Rights and Responsibilities

You and your spouse have certain legal responsibilities that cannot be negotiated away. An attempt to do so will result in refusal of the proposed divorce settlement agreement by the judge. It is also essential that you understand your legal rights because it is possible for you to negotiate them away.

Check Your Emotions

No matter how amicable, a divorce will be an emotional affair. A potential benefit to retaining the services of a divorcee lawyer is that it helps to eliminate the excess emotions. However, emotions are not necessarily bad. They are only problematic when you let them get in the way. Think positive. Get ample rest. Exercise and eat well, and if you ever feel overwhelmed, take a break from the negotiation in order to reboot.

Set Mutual Ground Rules

Negotiation should start with agreeing on ground rules. Determine when, where and how you will negotiate. Agree on a neutral site. Establish a timeline and a deadline.

Be Flexible

In order for a divorce to be amicable, it is important to be flexible and to work to ensure that any agreement benefits both you and your spouse. Keep an open mind. Brainstorm alternatives when there seems there are none, and be willing to concede at times. You both will have to.

Negotiate Based on Interests

A common mistake when negotiating a divorce with a spouse is bargaining from a position rather than what your interests are. If you focus on what is important to you rather than what you have a right to, you may relinquish your position at times, but you will likely gain more ground and at a faster pace.

Identify Needs and Wants for Both Spouses

Not only is it useful to negotiate based on your interests but the interests of your spouse. Wants are important, but needs are integral. If your spouse has a need and you seek to negotiate a settlement that does not meet that need, you likely will not be successful, and you will at the very least fail your spouse.

Know Your Finances

Another common mistake is not having a full appreciation of your finances, and it is not uncommon in marriages for one spouse to have much greater awareness of the money situation than the other. This lack of knowledge puts you at a disadvantage and could lead to a wide range of bad decisions.

Recognize Your Best and Worst Alternatives

BATNA and WATNA are negotiating concepts that apply to divorce settlements, and they are acronyms for best and worst alternative to a negotiated agreement. What if the negotiation fails? What are the worst things that could happen? The answer to that question is often enough motivation to help reach a compromise.

Determine Your Bottom Line

Determine the aspects of any agreement that you simply cannot live without. Explain those to your spouse and have him or her do the same. Make sure that your bottom line is realistic, and be willing to walk away if your spouse is not willing to reach a bottom line that is fair and practical.

Always Have a Plan

Have a plan in place even before you agree on the ground rules. Be open to the idea that your plan will change. Determine your bottom line, but try to recognize your spouse’s bottom line and all the areas in which you can be flexible. Also, consider contingencies for those times when things do not go as expected.

Protect Your Interests and Legal Rights

If you are considering divorce or if your spouse has already filed, the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner is here to help. Schedule a consultation with a divorce lawyer through which we can assist you in determining the best path for you and your family. To do so, you can contact us online, or call our Jenkintown office at 215-886-1266.

Jul 17

Understanding Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce Provides an Alternative Way to Settle Divorce Issues

With average divorce costs in Pennsylvania ranging from about $15,000 to over $21,000 for marriages involving children, you might be considering other options that avoid litigation. One option is collaborative divorce, which takes a team approach to the divorce process with the goal of reaching a settlement that both parties are satisfied with while avoiding a lengthy and costly court battle.

Understanding Collaborative Divorce

A collaborative divorce is a type of alternative dispute resolution process in which both spouses work together during the divorce negotiations, with a team of experts to guide and support them, until they reach a divorce settlement that meets their needs. The team of experts includes each spouse’s lawyer as well as a collaborative divorce lawyer. It can also include financial experts, accountants, mental health experts and even parenting coaches as needed.

Before the process begins, the spouses and their lawyer sign a document stating that they commit to working collaboratively to resolve their issues and reach an agreement without going to court. During this team process, both spouses receive neutral information about the various issues related to divorce from the experts and their divorce lawyer so that they can continue to work towards a resolution.

Determining If Collaborative Divorce Is Right for You

The collaborative divorce process will not be right for every family. However, couples who get along well and can commit to moving past the emotional issues that led to the split might be able to reach an agreement this way. It can also work for couples who might be struggling with their communications as the mental health expert in the team and even the parenting coach might help them overcome these problems so that the couple can continue to work together to achieve a peaceful resolution to their issues. Couples with children might also choose this option, as it can lead to a quicker, less expensive resolution to help the family move forward in a positive manner after divorce.

During this process, both spouses must be ready to be open and honest about their assets and to negotiate in good faith so that they can reach an equitable divorce settlement. If there were, or there continue to be, issues with domestic violence or drug or alcohol abuse or if one of the spouses is afraid to share a room with the other, collaborative divorce might not be the right fit for your case.

The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

Choosing a collaborative divorce over going to court can provide you and your family with many benefits. It allows the couple to take ownership of the divorce process and decide which issues they choose to prioritize. The couple benefits from the support and guidance of a team of professionals. Advice from these experts would be expensive if you were to seek it in the course of a typical divorce hearing.

Further, a collaborative divorce is less stressful and sets a good example. Working together with your ex-spouse shows your children that you can have positive conflict resolution and compromise and that not every life event has to be an emotionally devastating ordeal. Additionally, a collaborative divorce can save you time, stress, and money as a shorter divorce can often mean a less expensive divorce.

What Happens If This Approach Does Not Work?

While collaborative divorce can work for many families, the process can fail if the parties can’t reach an agreement that satisfies both sides. If either spouse disagrees with the proposed solutions and the negotiations stall, the process fails. When this happens, all of the experts involved in the case, including the lawyers, must resign. The couple then has to go to court, with new lawyers representing them and new financial experts to help them resolve their divorce issues.

If you are considering a divorce and want to explore the options available to you for the process, you can contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner. We are located in Jenkintown, so call us at 215-886-1266 to set up an appointment for a consultation to see if collaborative divorce is right for you.