Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

mediate or settle

Apr 04

How to Handle Your Spouse’s Refusal of Divorce Mediation

Motivating Your Spouse to Agree to Divorce Mediation

Many divorce lawyers advise divorce mediation over the alternatives. Mediation results in an agreement in as many as 80% of all U.S. divorces that go through the process. Mediated divorces are finalized in three to six months on average compared to the two-year average span for litigated divorces, which can cost up to 10 times as much overall.

Identify the Reasons for the Refusal

It can be difficult, but strive to see the refusal through the eyes of your spouse. The most common reason a person refuses mediation is because they do not want to get divorced. If this is your situation, then you may not be ready for mediation and should seek marriage counseling instead.

Recognize That an Angry Spouse May Be a Deal-Breaker

If your spouse is hurt, there may be nothing you can do to change their mind. You can hope that counseling will work, but if you are beyond that point, you may have to shift focus. Also, many divorce lawyers agree that situations involving domestic violence cannot be mediated.

Manage Your Stress and Be Patient

If you move forward with counseling, it is advisable that together you choose someone who is a pro-marriage therapist who will advocate for your marriage. You should also approach this process with an open mind. It is also important that you manage your stress, and be patient. Your spouse likely will come to the table eventually, and it will still be on a shorter timetable than a litigated divorce would require.

Educate Your Spouse on Divorce Mediation

Many people do not know what mediation is. It may be human nature to see divorce as winning and losing. Truth is, there are no winners in a divorce, and mediation concerns mitigating the losses.

The Initial Process

In Pennsylvania, estranged couples can make the initial choice to go through mediation before any divorce paperwork is filed with the court. However, in the converse situation, judges will in many cases order that mediation take place, especially if there are child custody issues involved.

Offer to Pay for the First Mediation Session

You may be able to use that fact to motivate your spouse to go voluntarily. You may also want to offer to pay for the first session. A single mediation session is relatively inexpensive, and it allows your spouse the experience without any sense that they may be taken advantage of.

Recommend Your Spouse Retain an Attorney

Just because you decided to pursue mediation or if it has been ordered by the court does not mean that either of you have to go it alone. You are each entitled to have the assistance of separate family law attorneys to represent your respective interests and, if an agreement is reached, review its terms before it is signed and presented to the court.

Continue the Decoupling Process

Unless counseling has led to a change of heart for you, in which case this is all moot, it is important that you continue the process of decoupling yourself from the marriage. This process, which should be gentle and purposeful, is important on two fronts. It is important for your mental health and preparation for single life, and you may even want to attend individual counseling as this process unfolds. It is also important for your spouse so that they acclimate to the fact the marriage is coming to an end.

Mediate a Successful Divorce

If you are ready to move on from your Pennsylvania marriage but want to do so without bitterness and acrimony, divorce mediation is an excellent way to achieve that. At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we have more than 25 years of experience helping couples mediate their divorces and would welcome the opportunity to assist you. Call our office in Jenkintown at 215-886-1266 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with an experienced divorce attorney.

Aug 22

Will a PA Court Hear My Contested Divorce During the COVID-19 Crisis?

Pennsylvania Courts Have a Backlog That Will Affect Contested Divorces

While Pennsylvania has among the lowest divorce rates in the country (9.2% according to 2017 data), there are still thousands of cases on the dockets at any given time in the state. The COVID-19 crisis has put a halt to many in-person court proceedings, and courts have yet to resume these proceedings except on a very limited basis. As a result, you can expect your contested divorce hearing to be delayed for some time.

Courts Are Struggling to Accommodate In-Person Hearings

Courts will eventually hear contested divorce cases, but in-person trials are still a bit in the future. This could make it difficult to conduct a full trial with witnesses and evidence. For the foreseeable future, contested divorce hearings would still be delayed as courts will struggle to accommodate these logistically. Moreover, judges are still clearing their backlog of urgent custody matters that they were not about to reach during the height of the pandemic.

Pennsylvania courts are limited as to what types of proceedings they can conduct right now due to the pandemic. Across the Keystone State, courts are opening on a limited basis. However, for the time being, most judges and court personnel are operating remotely. Only the most urgent matters are being dealt with on an in-person basis right now. Other than that, each jurisdiction is proceeding differently. For example, Philadelphia has canceled all in-person hearings through the end of the year but will conduct protracted hearings remotely over video conference.

Divorce Hearings Often Come Last

This will likely mean that judges have more pressing matters to get to before they reach a contested divorce case. For example, a family court judge may first want to handle emergency custody petitions or matters where the welfare of a child could be in jeopardy. This may require an in-person hearing.

However, contested divorces are not viewed in the same light. Most divorces will end up settling before they reach a court hearing. Judges often view contested result hearings as matters where the two parties simply cannot get along and agree with each other. These are hearings that judges do not like to schedule even when there is not a pandemic. This sentiment will only be enhanced now that court resources are very limited.

Nobody Knows How Long the Backlog Will Last

If you are wondering how long the backlog may last, it is really anybody’s guess. Family court matters are continuing to pile up as judges maintain limited schedules. Even when judges begin to clear their case backlog, their priority will not be contested divorce hearings. These will generally get pushed to the back of the list. If any emergencies are at issue such as custody matters, judges may schedule a remote hearing as opposed to an entire trial in person.

It is very difficult for the court to conduct an entire contested divorce hearing remotely with witnesses and your divorce lawyer. Coordinating a virtual trial with witnesses and other evidence will be a tall task for a court, even though this is how courts intend to hear cases for the foreseeable future. As a party to a divorce trial, you may not even want a remote divorce hearing to decide your case due to the difficulty of arguing your case. Even if it is possible, there is still a substantial backlog.

As a result, your best bet as a divorce litigant is to try to mediate or settle the case without the need for a judge to conduct the trial. If there was ever a time for collaborative divorce or settlement, now is it. Of course, even though analysts always urge you to avoid a trial, we recognize that it takes two to work together to settle the divorce. However, you should understand that going to court will mean that your divorce will take much longer to resolve. This could impact property division and other issues.

To learn more about the status of the courts and how it could affect your divorce, contact the divorce lawyer Joanne Kleiner at (215) 886-1266 to set up a consultation. Our office is located in Jenkintown, PA, but we’re taking social distancing measures to serve clients remotely.