Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Amicable Divorce Attorney

parenting plan

Jun 05

Negotiating custody and parenting

The Benefits of Positive Negotiations in Your Child Custody Case

Negotiating child custody can sometimes become contentious, even if both Pennsylvania parents want what is best for their child. However, a drawn-out, tension-filled fight is not usually in the best interest of the child. Going into child custody negotiations with a positive attitude and a desire to reach a fair agreement can set the tone for the co-parenting relationship and is full of benefits for the whole family.

Preparing for Positive Negotiations

Before the negotiations begin, tempers might be running high. You might even think that having the assistance of a divorce lawyer might mean that that is what you are preparing for. However, it is best to not approach this as a fight between the parents because this will become an obstacle to reaching the ideal custody agreement and parenting plan. Remember that a negotiation is a time for both parties to present their views and then to go back and forth as they reach an agreement where they each feel satisfied with what they are getting in return for what they have given up. Some of the ways you can prepare to have a positive discussion include:

  • Identifying your priorities
  • Having clear reasons for them
  • Being willing to be open-minded to the requests made by your child’s other parent
  • Listing the things you want your children to be able to keep to maintain stability and support

Positive Negotiations Should Focus on the Best Interests of the Child

This might sound like an easy thing to do, but when passions are running high, this might be forgotten. However, your child custody negotiations must remain focused on the best interest of the child so that all the decisions you make during the process are about creating the best environment for your child to grow up in. There are several things you can do to keep your discussions positive and focused on your child’s best interests. These include:

  • Discussing each parent’s priorities to see where they align and where they differ
  • Maintaining respectful, honest, and open communication
  • Committing to making decisions about the issues related to parenting your child
  • Avoiding discussion of personal issues between the parents that do not relate to the child’s upbringing

Positive Negotiations Allows Room for Creative Solutions

All families are unique. Therefore, each custody agreement and parenting plan must also be unique. Sometimes, this requires creativity, which positive negotiation allows. You can speak with your divorce lawyer about the parenting issues you and the other parent are facing in reaching an agreement to come up with creative solutions for these issues. This might mean working out a nontraditional agreement or even a special support agreement. The goal is to reach a fair arrangement that works for the family and that allows both parents to walk away happy. This will also lead to more commitment by both parties to uphold the agreement they have made.

Positive Negotiations Benefits the Whole Family

Positive negotiation provides long-term benefits for the whole family. This is important because even if you and your estranged spouse have decided to end your romantic relationship, you remain a family and connected due to your children. Some of the benefits of positive negotiations include:

  • Private space to resolve family issues in a way that works for all
  • The possibility of quicker resolutions and possibly lower costs to the divorce
  • An example for the children on how to resolve issues successfully and cooperatively
  • Evidence for the children that both parents remain committed to the family and to raising and supporting them in a loving way
  • Establishment of a positive tone for the co-parenting relationship

The result of your custody negotiation will have an impact on your life. More importantly, the results will have a significant impact on your child’s life. In that situation, you want the support of a divorce lawyer who can guide you through the negotiation process and help you reach an agreement that is ideal for your family. The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner might help you achieve this. Call us today at 215-886-1266 to set up an appointment to visit our Jenkintown offices.

Aug 09

The Benefits of Parallel Parenting After a Divorce

Reasons to Consider Parallel Parenting After Your Divorce

Although the divorce rate in the United States has been dropping for about 20 years, nearly 39% of first marriages end in a divorce. Many of these marriages include young children, and conflict around parenting and child custody is one of the primary areas of contention discussed with a divorce lawyer. One way that divorcing couples can reduce stress and conflict and minimize time in the courtroom is to create a plan for parallel parenting of their children.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting is a method of raising children in which the divorced parents minimize interactions with each other. Instead of arguing with each other, they focus their time and energy on their children. This is an effective parenting method when you and your ex-spouse have difficulty being civil with each other.

How Does Parallel Parenting Differ From Co-Parenting?

In a co-parenting situation, parents regularly communicate with each other, present a united front, and have similar rules at each residence. It involves a lot of cooperation and communication. Parallel parenting divides parenting responsibilities and minimizes interactions between the adults. By dividing responsibilities and following the plan, the parents may rarely need to interact with each other.

Who Should Consider Parallel Parenting?

Divorced couples who can’t seem to agree on anything should consider developing a parallel parenting plan with a divorce lawyer. Instead of focusing on problems with each other, this plan focuses on the well-being of the children. Minimizing interaction between the divorced parents also reduces stress and the amount of time that is spent in a courtroom.

How Does Parallel Parenting Benefit Divorcing Parents?

A parallel parenting plan allows both parents to remain active in their children’s lives. It minimizes the stress on each other and disruption for the children. A successful parallel parenting plan demonstrates that parents can focus on what’s best for their children instead of their disagreements, dislike, or distrust for each other. The plan creates guidance for common issues that are likely to breed conflict, such as where children will spend the holidays or which parent will deal with behavioral problems at school. A well-thought parallel parenting plan also makes it easier for divorced parents to move on with their lives after a marriage filled with conflict and arguments.

How Do Children Benefit from Parallel Parenting?

When parents establish a parallel parenting plan, children tend to develop fewer behavioral and emotional problems. They’re more likely to do better in school, develop strong friendships, and have positive relationships with each parent. Parallel parenting also helps children build better self-esteem, and they may be able to avoid feeling as if they were the cause of their parents’ marital problems or the reason for the divorce.

What Should I Include in a Parallel Parenting Plan?

A plan for parallel parenting should include as many specifics as possible. Although you can’t possibly anticipate every event or emergency that could occur with your child or ex-spouse, some elements that you should cover include the start and end of each parent’s visiting time, how and where your child will be exchanged, who is responsible for transporting your child, what happens if one parent misses or cancels their scheduled visit and when each parent has exclusive decision-making power. Some other aspects of parenting to add to your plan include who will take your child to medical and dental appointments, how to handle accidents and injuries, scheduling social, school, and religious activities, and dealing with behavioral issues and daily routines.

If you’re considering a divorce and would like to know more about parallel parenting, you may benefit from speaking with a divorce lawyer. Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, at (215) 886-1266, or enter your information into our contact form, and an associate will reach out to you to schedule a consultation.

Jul 05

How Can I Have a Child-Centered Divorce?

What Is a Child-centered Divorce?

About 72% of divorces take place within 14 years of marriage, which means that many young children experience the life-changing stress of living through this process. The long, drawn-out process of divorce can have life-altering effects on a child’s mental and physical health, and it puts their own future marriages at a higher risk of divorce. One way parents can mitigate these effects on their children is to work with a divorce lawyer who offers child-centered divorce services.

Set Your Priorities

When you or your spouse file for a divorce, you’ll have to consider what’s the most important part of the process. Many people focus on who gets the house or who keeps the family dog. In many cases, the children aren’t the first, second or even third priority. A child-centered divorce coordinated by a divorce lawyer ensures that the child or children are prioritized over everything else.

Agree on One Thing

You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse might disagree on almost everything. After all, that’s why you’re getting divorced. However, it’s important to agree on at least one item: Your children are the most important part of your lives. You both love your children more than anyone else in the world, and you want what is best for them no matter what. Once you can agree to this, you can move forward with a child-centered divorce.

What a Child-Centered Divorce Does

A child-centered divorce protects your children from emotional trauma. It also reduces their risk of developing a mental health disorder as a result of living through your divorce. Focusing on your child’s emotional needs could lower their risk of developing anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. While a child-centered divorce won’t spare feelings of sadness or anger, it can mitigate them and make them easier for you and your child to manage.

Stay Out of Court

The first step in a child-centered divorce is staying out of the courtroom as much as possible. Going to court is costly, time-consuming and anxiety-provoking. The more time you spend in court, the more conflict your children witness. Working with a divorce mediator or with an attorney who has experience in the collaborative divorce process will help you minimize the amount of time you have to be in court.

Focus on the Future

Think ahead to five years from now. How would you want your child to view the experience of having their parents divorce? If you carry the burden of the divorce-related stress and help your child feel safe and loved, they may look at the experience as a way mature adults handle disagreements and how people can move forward with their lives in peace and with mutual respect.

Build Your Relationship With Your Child

Even though your marriage fell apart, your relationship with your child doesn’t have to follow the same path. Regularly ask your child how they feel. Spend time doing something fun with your child. If you’ve always enjoyed cooking together, playing at the playground or going to the beach, keep up those important traditions. You’ll be making positive memories that outshine the stressors of divorce. Maintaining rapport and trust with your child will solidify a lifelong positive relationship.

Be Patient

Recovery after a divorce could take a year or two for you and your child. Be patient with your child’s feelings and how they express them. Cut your child some slack on occasion. Some children may be more needy during and after their parents’ divorce while others might act out in order to get more attention. It’s okay to ask your child about their actions, but do it from a place of curiosity rather than one of frustration or anger.

Pennsylvania parents who are interested in a child-centered divorce may benefit from scheduling a consultation with an experienced family lawyer. Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at (215) 886-1266, or fill out our contact form to request an appointment at our Jenkintown office.

Jun 04

Should You Consider an Uncontested Divorce?

Why Should You Consider an Uncontested Divorce?

It’s common for individuals to spend thousands of dollars on a contested divorce that goes through trial. Therefore, it may be in your best interest to consider options that might allow you to end your marriage without the need to appear in court.

What Is an Uncontested Divorce?

An uncontested divorce occurs when both parties to the marriage in question agree to terms of a final settlement outside of court. As a general rule, couples will agree to terms without the need for a lengthy court battle. A divorce will likely be considered uncontested if there are no outstanding issues prior to seeking court approval to formally end the union.

What Are the Key Benefits to an Uncontested Divorce?

One of the key benefits of this type of divorce is that you may be able to forego any waiting period before your marriage is officially terminated. You can get closure in a timely manner and start taking steps to rebuild your life as soon as you and your spouse agree to go your separate ways.

If you have children, opting to avoid a formal trial can help to spare them from being exposed to the drama and stress that it may bring. Furthermore, avoiding court may also mean that your split is less expensive because you may not need a divorce lawyer until it comes time to review the terms of the final settlement. Also, court costs add up.

Are You Sure That Your Settlement Is Equitable?

An uncontested divorce may be a good idea for you if you truly feel as if you have reached a fair settlement based on the agreement that you’ve made with your spouse. As a general rule, you are entitled to roughly half of the assets held within the marital estate. You may also be entitled to alimony, child support payments and other forms of compensation.

Often, the value of the marital estate is determined by reviewing tax returns, pay records and other financial documents. If you don’t have access to those records, it may not be wise to sign any divorce documents. Instead, it may be best to hire a divorce lawyer who may be able to examine the documents and interpret them for you.

A Judge Will Need to Review a Parenting Plan Before It Takes Effect

To qualify for an uncontested divorce, you must have any issues related to child custody and support taken care of prior to submitting divorce papers. However, although you can create a parenting plan as part of the settlement process, it won’t necessarily go into effect right away because a judge will need to ensure that it preserves your child’s best interests.

In most cases, a hearing consists of little more than answering a few questions to ensure that you understand the plan’s structure and that you agree to adhere to it. Afterward, the judge will likely approve the plan and allow it to take effect immediately.

What Else Should You Know About an Uncontested Divorce?

An uncontested divorce can be ideal if you want to keep a more positive emotional state. Of course, negotiating a settlement outside of court requires you and your spouse to work together with the help of your respective divorce lawyers to come to an agreement. During this process, you get a chance to express your feelings in an open and honest way, which may help you work through the emotional trauma that ending a marriage may bring.

Furthermore, it allows you to tell your spouse what you really need from a settlement. Therefore, there is a greater chance that you will walk away from the negotiation table feeling good about yourself and your future prospects. This may make it easier to maintain the strength needed to be there for yourself and for your children after your marriage ends.

If you have legal questions about your upcoming divorce or would like input about your proposed settlement, don’t hesitate to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown by calling 215-886-1266 or by filling out the secure online contact form.

Oct 24

Distance Learning and Co-Parenting During COVID-19

How Remote Learning Can Impact Co-Parenting

Over 7.8 million people in the United States have contracted COVID-19 as of mid-October 2020, grinding much of normal life to a halt. Though children have largely resumed school remotely, this change has presented many challenges to co-parents. Discussing these challenges is a must for those who want to successfully navigate the crisis.

Basic Disruptions

Some of the most common distance learning disruptions for co-parents are among the most obvious. These are the issues that are going to wreak havoc with the careful balancing that is necessary for co-parenting, and they will generally have to be solved through the efforts of each parent. Such disruptions include the children no longer taking the bus to and from a parent’s home, children not being able to see the usual babysitters because of social distancing requirements, or even difficulties that come from having to use technology that is unfamiliar to one or both of the parents.

The truth is that education is rarely an easy topic for co-parents, even when they are on the same page, so there will have to be changes made to daily life that won’t necessarily impact the existing parenting plan. It may be necessary for one or both parents to reach out to one another (or a divorce lawyer) to discuss new solutions or make adjustments that could have a minor impact on the plans that have already been put in place during prior discussions.

Responsibilities and Rights

More pressing are those disruptions that are going to impact the responsibilities and rights of the parents as put forth in a parenting agreement. Distance learning is going to put a significant amount of stress on all parties involved because it is going to require an entirely new type of parental decision-making to succeed. Parents will be forced to make educational decisions every day that simply might not be covered in the plans that were put in place when custody was first decided.

One of the biggest decisions that will have to be made will occur when, and if, school districts open. If parents are given a choice to send their kids back or keep them at home, it’s not always necessarily clear how individuals who share joint physical and legal custody will make that decision. Parents won’t be able to split the decision in this case, and even if they could, doing so would be ineffective. The basic right to decide where your child goes to school may well be disrupted by this pandemic.

Ability and Presence

Distance learning will also bring with it a major parenting change due to the amount of time the impacted children will be at home. If your child is a distance learner, he or she will need someplace to do schoolwork and study. Co-parents must now decide if they have living situations that are conducive to this kind of education and what’s going to happen if either parent goes back to working in person while the children are still going to school online.

A parent who typically has custody on the weekends, for example, may not necessarily be too impacted. Parents who tend to switch custody weekly or by the semester, on the other hand, are going to have to figure out whether their children can adequately learn as they switch back and forth. School does tend to give a certain sense of stability to children who move between homes, and the lack of stability is going to have an impact on the entire family. Without a clear plan in place, this can quickly become chaotic and disruptive to the lives of all who are involved.

Quarantine and Custody Challenges

Who gets custody during a quarantine? What happens if a child is forced to social distance because of an impacted family member and cannot travel to the other parent’s house? These are important questions that don’t have easy answers. Although people need to follow the laws surrounding public safety and use common sense, there’s no doubt that parents are going to see their custody dates disrupted anytime a child is forced to isolate for two weeks. Given that these aren’t just questions of custody but of safety, one must expect the discussions here to be quite serious. Unfortunately, there are unlikely to be any easy answers.

Distance learning is going to cause problems for most co-parents even if they are small ones. Anything relating to the COVID-19 pandemic will eventually lead to a reevaluation of plans, and custody arrangements are no exception. If you need help with custody arrangements or other family matters, make sure to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner to consult a divorce lawyer in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, either by phone at (215) 886-1266 or email via our contact page.