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Apr 04

How to Handle Your Spouse’s Refusal of Divorce Mediation

Motivating Your Spouse to Agree to Divorce Mediation

Many divorce lawyers advise divorce mediation over the alternatives. Mediation results in an agreement in as many as 80% of all U.S. divorces that go through the process. Mediated divorces are finalized in three to six months on average compared to the two-year average span for litigated divorces, which can cost up to 10 times as much overall.

Identify the Reasons for the Refusal

It can be difficult, but strive to see the refusal through the eyes of your spouse. The most common reason a person refuses mediation is because they do not want to get divorced. If this is your situation, then you may not be ready for mediation and should seek marriage counseling instead.

Recognize That an Angry Spouse May Be a Deal-Breaker

If your spouse is hurt, there may be nothing you can do to change their mind. You can hope that counseling will work, but if you are beyond that point, you may have to shift focus. Also, many divorce lawyers agree that situations involving domestic violence cannot be mediated.

Manage Your Stress and Be Patient

If you move forward with counseling, it is advisable that together you choose someone who is a pro-marriage therapist who will advocate for your marriage. You should also approach this process with an open mind. It is also important that you manage your stress, and be patient. Your spouse likely will come to the table eventually, and it will still be on a shorter timetable than a litigated divorce would require.

Educate Your Spouse on Divorce Mediation

Many people do not know what mediation is. It may be human nature to see divorce as winning and losing. Truth is, there are no winners in a divorce, and mediation concerns mitigating the losses.

The Initial Process

In Pennsylvania, estranged couples can make the initial choice to go through mediation before any divorce paperwork is filed with the court. However, in the converse situation, judges will in many cases order that mediation take place, especially if there are child custody issues involved.

Offer to Pay for the First Mediation Session

You may be able to use that fact to motivate your spouse to go voluntarily. You may also want to offer to pay for the first session. A single mediation session is relatively inexpensive, and it allows your spouse the experience without any sense that they may be taken advantage of.

Recommend Your Spouse Retain an Attorney

Just because you decided to pursue mediation or if it has been ordered by the court does not mean that either of you have to go it alone. You are each entitled to have the assistance of separate family law attorneys to represent your respective interests and, if an agreement is reached, review its terms before it is signed and presented to the court.

Continue the Decoupling Process

Unless counseling has led to a change of heart for you, in which case this is all moot, it is important that you continue the process of decoupling yourself from the marriage. This process, which should be gentle and purposeful, is important on two fronts. It is important for your mental health and preparation for single life, and you may even want to attend individual counseling as this process unfolds. It is also important for your spouse so that they acclimate to the fact the marriage is coming to an end.

Mediate a Successful Divorce

If you are ready to move on from your Pennsylvania marriage but want to do so without bitterness and acrimony, divorce mediation is an excellent way to achieve that. At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we have more than 25 years of experience helping couples mediate their divorces and would welcome the opportunity to assist you. Call our office in Jenkintown at 215-886-1266 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with an experienced divorce attorney.

Mar 07

The Key Differences Between Separate and Marital Property

How to Classify an Asset for Property Division Purposes

You may believe that you are at risk of losing half your belongings if you leave your spouse. However, this isn’t necessarily the case. Instead, you generally only risk losing a portion of the assets held inside of the marital estate.

What Is the Marital Estate?

Generally speaking, any assets that are acquired during a marriage are considered to be part of the marital estate. This may be true even if only one person’s name is on the deed or title to the asset. For instance, if you buy a home with your spouse, you generally have an ownership interest in that home even if it is held in your spouse’s name.

It’s also worth noting that price appreciation that occurs in a separate asset after marriage becomes official may be part of the marital estate. For instance, let’s say that you own a home that is worth $100,000 on the date of your wedding. Let’s also say that the home is worth $200,000 when your divorce becomes official.

Your spouse will likely be entitled to a portion of the $100,000 in price appreciation that took place while you were married to them. It’s worth noting that they would be responsible for paying capital gains taxes on any profits that they received from selling a joint asset obtained in a divorce settlement.

What Is Commingling?

Commingling can occur in several different ways. For example, if your spouse deposits money into your personal bank account, that asset may now be considered joint property. The same may be true if your spouse used their money to make repairs to your home, car or other property. Separate assets may become joint assets because you failed to keep accurate records of when they were acquired and who paid to obtain or maintain them.

Tips for Retaining Control of Property After Getting Married

The use of a prenuptial agreement may make it easier to exempt property from being distributed to your spouse in a divorce settlement. Such an agreement may stipulate that your business, home or other property is to be classified as separate property. A divorce lawyer may be able to help you draft a prenuptial agreement that is likely to hold up under scrutiny.

If you aren’t able to create such a contract before your wedding takes place, you can draft a postnuptial agreement after your marriage becomes official. Regardless of when this type of agreement is executed, it’s important to allow your spouse to review it with their own attorney. This may help to ensure that the document won’t be invalidated based on a claim that it was signed under duress.

Putting assets into a trust may also be an effective way to retain control of them after a divorce. In most cases, property held in a trust is considered to be kept outside of the marital estate. Of course, your spouse may challenge the validity of the trust, and it’s possible that a judge will nullify it in the event that the document is not structured properly.

Certain Assets Won’t Automatically Become Part of the Marital Estate

If you received an inheritance while you were married, it remains a part of your separate estate. The same is true of anything that you received as a gift from your spouse, a friend or a family member. Of course, these items can become joint property if they are commingled, which is why it may be best to keep them in a separate account or place them in a trust.

If you need the assistance of a divorce lawyer, you’re encouraged to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at your earliest convenience. You can call our Jenkintown office by dialing (215) 886-1266, or you can fill out and submit the contact form located on our website.

Mar 03

How Do You Divide Retirement Benefits After a Divorce?

Who Gets the Retirement Account in a Divorce?

Asset division is one of the most common reasons for disputes during a divorce. If you want to make things a little easier, it’s helpful to understand how retirement accounts are divided during the process.

Are Retirement Accounts Joint or Separate Property?

During a divorce, the main question about any asset is whether it is personal property or marital property. If the retirement account is separate, personal property, then the original owner of it retains control. If the account is a marital asset, it and other types of joint property all have to be split up.

The basic rule for determining what counts as joint property is in part when the property was acquired. Accounts started after marriage are usually marital property. If the account was started before marriage but either spouse contributed money to the retirement account following marriage, a proportionate amount of the account becomes marital property.

A retirement account is usually only personal property if you quit adding funds once you got married. Some types of prenuptial arrangements can also mean that certain retirement accounts remain personal property regardless of whether money is contributed after marriage.

Different Types of Retirement Accounts Are Handled Differently

To figure out how to fairly split retirement accounts in a divorce, you need to pay close attention to the retirement account type. For a traditional IRA or 401(k), it is simple. There are some basic formulas your divorce lawyer can use to quickly estimate how much you contributed and how the property should be divided.

Things get more challenging with defined benefit plans like pensions. These involve an employer providing their employee with a certain amount of money at retirement, and the amount the employee gets is based on how long they work there. Since there is no way of knowing how long a person will continue to be an employee, your lawyer will have to just roughly estimate the value.

Strategies for Dividing Retirement Accounts Fairly

Whenever you are handling retirement accounts in divorce, it is a good idea to be flexible. For many couples, the simplest option is just agreeing that each party keeps all the funds of the retirement account in their name. However, this isn’t always a fair or possible option. Another common choice is offering a cash payment in exchange for complete control of an account. For defined benefit plans, the court along with the plan administrator will require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order. This allows the spouse who doesn’t own the plan to get a certain amount of the plan benefits.

It is also possible to divide the retirement account into two new retirement accounts that each contain a certain proportion of the funds. You could ask to retain control of a retirement account in exchange for other perks. For example, one spouse could take the retirement account while another takes the house. You could even negotiate a lower alimony payment in exchange for a retirement account.

How to Resolve Retirement Account Division Disputes

In an ideal world, you and your ex-partner would be able to quickly and easily find a mutually-satisfactory way to divide up retirement accounts. However, if you and your ex cannot come to a quick agreement on your own, your divorce lawyers can try negotiating. You can send offers and counter-offers to your ex that suggest different asset division strategies.

If this does not work, it might be time to get a neutral party involved. Many people are finding that a mediator can help settle disagreements in a mutually satisfactory way, or you can get a judge to divide the accounts in court. Though there is no guarantee that things will go in your favor, having a judge decide how to divide your retirement accounts can settle arguments once and for all.

Interested in learning more about retirement account division? The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner is here to help Montgomery County residents with their divorces. Call 215-886-1266 or send us a message to arrange a free consultation.

Feb 06

How to Use a Mediator to Create a Co-parenting Plan

Tips for Using a Mediator to Create a Co-parenting Plan

About 90% of child custody cases are resolved without a battle in court. However, keep in mind that a judge still needs to approve the settlement agreement.

Should You Use a Mediator?

In most situations, it’s a good idea for divorcing spouses to use a mediator. The exception is if your spouse is abusive. Informing the court of the abuse is important to help protect yourself and your child. If you want to try mediation, you do have the option of being in separate rooms during it to help you feel safe and more at ease with expressing yourself.

As long as both you and your spouse are willing to participate in the mediation process, it’s less expensive than battling it out in court. When a mediation fails, you will have to go to court. Thus, it’s best if your spouse is willing to do their part in a peaceful mediation. You can look over these tips together to make sure that both of you negotiate in a respectful and fair manner.

Set aside any hard feelings for the sake of saving money and walking away from the divorce in the best situation possible. When couples get too caught up in revenge during the divorce process, they often find themselves in a worse financial situation after the divorce.

Avoid Saying “Never” or “Always”

Ultimatums automatically put the other person on the defensive, so you should avoid using them in communication. Rather than saying “you never do this” or “you always do this,” phrase it as “I feel upset when you do this.” It’s also better to avoid starting sentences with “you” because it tends to make the other feel defensive, which is why the example begins with “I” instead of “you.”

Compromise Comes with Mediation

Go into mediation understanding there will be give and take. Before the mediation, write down what’s most important to you and what you’re willing to compromise. This will help you keep clarity during the discussion of what truly matters to you. If you butt heads on an issue that’s important to you, listen to the mediator’s suggestions on finding a compromise that both of you can be happy with. This dispute resolution tool is only effective when both participants are willing participants and want to find a win–win deal.

Be Willing to Discuss Finances and Future Relationships

When it comes to negotiating a co-parenting plan, be aware that finances and future relationships may be discussed. You and your spouse want to make sure that your child is in a safe environment if they will be traveling between your residences. If you were to refuse to discuss these issues because of privacy, it will interfere with a successful mediation. Remember that court is an even less private place where people from the public will hear the details of your case.

Keep the Discussion Focused on Co-parenting

Don’t make comments regarding other aspects of the divorce. Stay focused on resolving your co-parenting issues only. You can schedule another mediation if you still have other aspects of your divorce to negotiate.

Ask for a Short Break If You Need One

It’s important that you don’t allow your emotions to get the best of you. It’s okay to politely ask for a short break when you feel your emotions becoming too much for you. Focus on taking slow, deep breaths and think about things that make you happy to help yourself calm down. Remind yourself of the benefits of staying calm, and imagine a positive outcome, then return to the discussion renewed. Be understanding and compassionate if your spouse needs a short break too. Don’t take it personally.

Consult with a Divorce Lawyer Before the Mediation

The settlement agreement that you sign after a mediation is legally binding. It’s a good idea to consult with a divorce lawyer before your mediation because they can advise you on when it’s best to give and take based on what’s important to you. They can also give you an overview of what to expect during mediation. You could even choose a divorce lawyer as your mediator if you and your spouse want to, but both of you should still consult separately with your own attorneys. You don’t want to feel unhappy after the agreement is signed. Consulting with a lawyer helps give you more reassurance that you’ll be satisfied.

Using a mediator to create a co-parenting plan is a great way to come up with an agreement that works with both of your schedules and preferences. Mediators are experienced with the different types of custody schedules that parents can use. They are also skilled at facilitating discussions and calming down a situation that’s about to get out of control. Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Montgomery County at 215-886-1266 if you’re interested in learning more about the process.

Feb 02

How Long Do Alimony Payments Last?

How Long Can You Receive Alimony Payments?

Each year, roughly 450,000 people receive alimony payments. This money can be a way of compensating newly divorced spouses for the unpaid labor they performed during their marriage, but it usually is not meant to last forever. If you are receiving alimony payments, understanding how long they will last can help you make smart financial choices.

There’s No Set Rule for Alimony Length

Unlike child support, there are no legal requirements for how much alimony a person gets or how long alimony lasts. If a couple comes to their own decision regarding alimony length, the court rarely interferes with a divorce lawyer drafting an agreement. However, if two people cannot reach a fair decision on their own, the court may get involved. Typically, judges determine the length of alimony based on factors such as:

  • How old both parties are
  • The length of the marriage
  • Each spouses’ realistic earning potential
  • How many savings each spouse has
  • Whether the spouse has custody
  • What each spouse’s marital expectations were
  • Whether the marriage ended due to infidelity

Though there’s no strict rule, most alimony payments tend to last for somewhere between 15 percent to 40 percent of the length of the marriage. The average alimony payments end within 5 to 10 years of the marriage ending.

Alimony Often Ends Once a Spouse Can Support Themselves

In most cases, alimony is meant to support a spouse who gave up their career to assist their partner with things like childcare and home care. Therefore, alimony is supposed to bridge the gap between a person leaving their spouse and rebuilding their career. Often, the alimony is set to end once a person has had a reasonable amount of time to become self-sufficient.

There can be various ways of determining this. The most common guideline is that alimony ends after remarriage. Pennsylvania law also acknowledges that alimony usually should end if the recipient is cohabitating with another party in a marriage-like arrangement. In some cases, a couple may agree for alimony to end after a person graduates from school, or any minor children leave the home. One party can always ask for alimony to end after a situation changes. Therefore, if one spouse gets a high-paying job, their ex may be able to petition the court to end alimony payments ahead of schedule.

Permanent Alimony Is Rare

It is extremely rare for a court to order indefinite alimony with no specific end date. This usually only happens after the end of long marriages in which one spouse has no savings or work experience. The most common example of this happens when two people get married at a very young age, have children immediately, decide to have one parent stay at home and do not divorce until they are seniors. Since a senior with absolutely no job history is unlikely to get a job that pays decently, they could need alimony for the rest of their life.

Permanent alimony can also occur if a spouse is incapacitated. If one person has a mental or physical condition that keeps them from caring for themselves, that individual may need alimony to survive. The court is also more likely to order extreme alimony amounts when one spouse has a lot of money and the other has none. So if one spouse is a millionaire and the other spent the 20 years of marriage without working at all, lifelong alimony is a little more likely.

If you are in a situation in which alimony can be helpful, it’s important to consult with a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. An attorney can help you draft an alimony agreement that suits your needs. At the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner, our team will work hard to help you get the alimony you deserve. Learn more about our Jenkintown divorce services by calling (215) 886-1266 or filling out our contact form.