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Jul 26

Tips on Managing Emotions During a Divorce

How to Manage Your Emotions Through a Divorce

In 2017, there were 32,777 divorces or annulments in Pennsylvania, which is a 171% increase since 1950. Marriages, on the other hand, have been on the decline with an 18.25% decrease since 1950. You must learn how to manage your emotions through a divorce to ease the process and allow yourself to heal faster once the legal process is complete.

Write in a Journal Every Day

Journaling doesn’t get as much credit as it deserves; it’s an effective way of managing your emotions. Many people who try journaling are pleasantly surprised at the positive impact it has on their mental health and their lives. Writing how you feel lets you get the emotion out in a healthy way. Journaling prevents you from suppressing the emotions as well. Suppressing emotions is damaging because they stay in your subconscious where they will negatively affect you, often without your awareness. These hidden emotions can lead to self-sabotage.

See a Therapist

If you try these tips and find that you’re still struggling to handle your emotions, then you’ll need the help of a therapist. Don’t feel embarrassed or reluctant about seeing a therapist. Counseling doesn’t mean that you have a mental disorder. People can see a therapist whenever they need extra guidance in overcoming life’s hardships.

Celebrities and athletes receive therapy for various reasons whether it’s overcoming childhood trauma or working toward reaching the next level of success. Examples of techniques that may be used to help you without medication are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and motivational interviewing.

Stay Focused on the Legal Process

Resist the urge to get revenge on your spouse, and focus on the legal process instead. Some people find it helpful to count down the days until the divorce is finalized or until they can move out into their own place. Keep all important documents and information organized to minimize your stress and to ensure you get the best deal possible. You don’t want to forget to iron out a detail because you were too caught up in your emotions. Lawyers can help you stay focused on the legal process.

The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner has a Jenkintown divorce lawyer you can consult with to learn what you need to know about divorce in Pennsylvania. Divorce law differs from state to state, so it’s a good idea to communicate with a Pennsylvania divorce attorney.

Learn How to Respond Instead of React

Wait until you’ve calmed down before talking to your spouse. This helps you avoid yelling or talking rudely. You’ll minimize how many fights you have by no longer allowing yourself to react in the moment when you feel angry. Learn how to deal with your anger in a healthy way. You don’t want to lash out at others, but you don’t want to suppress your emotions either.

Ideas for dealing with your anger include:

  • Kickboxing classes
  • Walking or running
  • Weight training
  • Going to the park to enjoy the greenery
  • Drawing, painting, or any other artistic activity
  • Writing poetry
  • Writing about how you feel
  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Getting a massage
  • Meditating
  • Reframing
  • Developing a positive mindset

Have the Mindset of a Victor Instead of a Victim

Some people hold themselves back by getting stuck in a victim mindset. Yes, you were wronged, and you were treated unfairly. You can acknowledge that and allow yourself to feel your emotions. The key is to not dwell too long on those feelings because they harm your quality of life. Some people find themselves struggling to have a good relationship after the divorce because they didn’t let go of these emotions.

Another problem with the victim mindset is it gives away your power. When you choose to make yourself the victor, you reclaim and protect your power. You also open your mind to new possibilities in overcoming the problems that you’re experiencing when you adopt a mindset of being in control of your life.

Experiment with these tips on managing emotions during a divorce to find what works for you. A combination of techniques is best for managing your emotions. Each person is different, so maybe painting doesn’t work for you but kickboxing does. Trying new things is fun and helps to get your mind off of the divorce while relieving your stress.

Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner today at (215) 886-1266 for a free confidential consultation with a Jenkintown divorce lawyer.

Jul 23

The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce for Parents

The Skills Parents Learn During a Collaborative Divorce

Research has shown that roughly 45% of first marriages will end in divorce. This means that many parents are forced to raise their children with someone they do not get along with. With a collaborative divorce, however, ex-spouses can learn the skills needed to work together while raising the kids.

You Get to Express Yourself

The term “collaborative divorce” basically means what it sounds like. Both parties of a separation will work together and with their respective attorneys to come up with a suitable divorce arrangement. This is beneficial for many couples because it allows them to avoid the uncertainty of a courtroom divorce.

While you and your former spouse were together, you may have found it difficult to truly express your needs and desires. In a collaborative divorce setting, your partner is no longer able to dismiss your concerns or otherwise shut you down. Furthermore, he or she is no longer able to use money or other tools in an effort to control you.

If a controlling scenario develops, the party who is facilitating the talks will steer the conversation back to a healthier place. In many cases, having the opportunity to speak can help build your confidence. Furthermore, it can help you speak out on behalf of your child both now and in the future.

You Can Build a Rapport With the Other Parent

The collaborative divorce process takes place outside of court with the help of lawyers and possibly a mediator. Ultimately, the goal is to get each person to work together to create a settlement that meets their needs. This makes it easier for parents to build trust and develop a rapport with each other. When you trust the child’s other parent, it may reduce the odds of future conflict. If conflicts do arise, the trust and respect that you have for the child’s other parent could help you come to an out-of-court resolution.

You Learn to Put the Child’s Needs First

When parents trust and respect each other, they learn how to get past their petty squabbles and focus on the kids. This can be beneficial for your child because he or she will tend to do better in an environment that is free from conflict. Generally speaking, your children will know if you are stressed or feeling sad. They will also assume that the other parent is the source of that stress. Learning how to respect and communicate with your former spouse can help reduce everyone’s stress level and make it easier for everyone to adjust to their new realities.

You Learn How to Share Information Appropriately

After a divorce, it will be necessary to share information about how your child is doing with the other parent. He or she should be aware of any behavioral problems or any other issues that the child is experiencing. It is also important to talk about any positive developments such as getting good grades in school or getting a driver’s license.

The collaborative law process is all about the free exchange of information related to household finances or anything else that is relevant in your divorce. Over time, you will learn how to create boundaries and determine which topics you can keep to yourself. While you may feel justified in your decision to have closed yourself off in the past, it can be detrimental to your children moving forward. Therefore, it is important to trust the process and embrace the benefits that it can provide.

You Learn How to Obtain Closure

You may have difficulty letting go of the past or need time to process what is happening to you. In a collaborative setting, you get to share stories about the good times and cry about the loss of a relationship that you likely used to cherish. When the process is over, you might discover that a chapter in your life has been closed for good. Once you realize that, it could be easier to move on.

If you need a collaborative law attorney to help with your case, call the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner today. The phone number to her Jenkintown office is 215-886-1266.

Jul 20

Can Workers’ Compensation Be Used to Pay Child Support?

Can I Get Child Support From Workers’ Comp Payments?

When you have primary custody of your child, you have the right to seek child support from the noncustodial parent. If your ex is one of the 3 million Americans who are injured on the job each year, you might hope that workers’ compensation is a way to get extra child support. Keep reading to find out if workers’ compensation can be taken away to pay for child support.

Is Workers’ Comp Used As Child Support?

When it comes to child support, the legal system is set up to make sure that children get their basic needs taken care of. Any sort of personal income, including wages, investment dividends, pensions, disability benefits or social security benefits, can be a type of child support.

Therefore, if you have custody and need child support, the noncustodial parent’s workers’ compensation payout should be used to calculate the obligation amount. Workers’ compensation is usually meant to make up for the lost wages that a person could not earn due to injury. So, essentially, it becomes a form of wages that should be used to support your child.

A child support agreement can be made any time one of the parents of a child does not have full custody, so there are a few different circumstances where workers’ comp payout may be used for child support. If you get divorced and are awarded custody of your child, you may be able to start getting workers’ comp as part of your child support. You may also start receiving workers’ compensation payments as part of your child support if you establish that the person receiving the benefits is the father of a child.

Will a Workers’ Comp Award Change Your Child Support Payments?

Any workers’ compensation benefits a person receives will be used to calculate child support if you are still working out custody arrangements. But what can you expect if you already get child support, and then the other parent suddenly wins a workers’ compensation lawsuit?

It turns out that any change in income can result in a change to child support payments, but it doesn’t happen automatically. Either you or the other parent or guardian of the child will have to petition the court to change the previous child support agreement.

If your ex is not making as much money since getting injured, he or she can explain the situation to the court and ask that they lower the payment requirements to reflect his or her reduced income. However, if the workers’ comp award means that the other parent is now making more than you used to, you can get your child custody lawyer to ask the court to raise the amount of child support.

Can Workers’ Comp Be Garnished?

What happens if the other parent is required to pay part of their workers’ compensation award as child support but does not want to? Once you have custody, you can initiate a court case to get the support you are owed.

In this situation, a child custody lawyer can explain to the judge that your partner was capable of paying support but refused to. If the judgment is in your favor, the court can order garnishment of the workers’ compensation. This would mean the money is automatically taken out of a compensation benefit check or lump sum payment and given directly to you as the custodial parent. You might find that the workers’ comp garnishment includes taking money for past owed child support and current child support payments.

If you have any other questions about how child support and custody rulings affect workers’ comp payments, the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner can provide assistance. We are happy to help residents of Montgomery, Bucks and Philadelphia counties navigate the challenges of paying child support. Call our office in Jenkintown, PA, at (908) 200-2297 or fill out our online email form to set up a consultation now.

Jul 17

Survival Tips for Living Together During a Divorce

Tips for an Amicable Divorce While Living in the Same House

When a married couple files for divorce, one person usually moves out of the marital home. However, there are times when the couple continues to live together during the divorce process. Some states require separate residences, but Pennsylvania is one state where you can still cohabitate during the divorce process.

Unconventional Living Arrangements

It may be unconventional, but many couples are choosing to live together until the paperwork is finalized. There are many reasons for a couple to cohabitate during the divorce process. In some cases, couples live together due to financial or legal reasons. For example, the law in Pennsylvania focuses on possession of the property. If one spouse wants to keep the house, they will stay in it and fight for legal ownership. Once one party leaves the property, they can often lose their rights for the home. In this situation, the property will be awarded to the other spouse.

In other cases, financial obligations are the reason that a couple continues to live together. If the split is amicable, they may decide it is cheaper to pay for one home rather than two separate residences. One spouse may not make enough money to move out and pay for rent. The couple can choose to live in the same house until it is sold or enough money is saved to move out.

If you are choosing to live in a marital home during your divorce, you will face some challenges. Whatever your reasons for sharing a home, there are a few ways to remain cordial during this process.

Be Cooperative

Despite these unusual circumstances, you want to treat your partner with respect. If you have children, this is very important to stay cooperative during the process. You may want to express your feelings about your spouse, but you must remain calm. It is normal to harbor some negative feelings, but you need to work through them and focus on being civil towards one another. You can create a healthy environment without any tension during the separation period.

Keep a Schedule

Communication is key to keeping a peaceful home with your ex-spouse. Once again, you need to think about the environment for the children. Divorce can be a difficult time for children, and they may not understand the reasons for your separation. You want to make sure your children stick to their normal schedule. Both spouses can decide on who will watch the children or take over certain tasks.

Discuss Finances

Financial problems are one of the main causes of divorce. If you want to live together, you will have to discuss the issues of finances. It is important to decide how the bills will be split between the two spouses. If you do not have any financial arrangement in place, the living situation will become tense. At this time, you may want to talk about spousal support as well.

Take Care of Yourself

During a stressful divorce, it is important to take care of your mental and physical health. You need to take time to recharge your batteries and find new interests. It is essential to schedule some time to meet friends, see a movie, or grab some coffee. You can turn the focus away from the divorce and spend more time focusing on you.

Need Some Help With Your Divorce Case?

There is no such thing as an easy divorce, and many of them are complex situations. During this time, there are many emotions involved. It can be difficult to make a logical decision. With a positive attitude and a supportive attorney on your side, you can make your divorce process less stressful. When you live with your ex-spouse, it can add to the already tense situation.

There are multiple elements and challenges for any divorce. You want to have an experienced attorney to help with spousal support, child custody, and other issues. You can contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at 215-886-1266 for a consultation about your Philadelphia divorce case.

Jul 14

Why Joint Custody Is Important

What to Know About the Benefits of Joint Custody

A recent study in Wisconsin found that the percentage of parents who share custody rose from 5% in the 1980s to 27% in 2008. Changing views regarding gender roles is one key reason why it has become more common for parents to share custody of their children after a divorce. Let’s take a look at some key benefits that parents and children derive from a shared custody arrangement.

Children Get Both Parents in Their Lives

When crafting a custody order after a divorce, the best interests of the child are the top priority. As having two parents is generally in a child’s best interest, judges are loath to not grant custody to both parents whenever possible. It is important to note that couples may split legal custody without sharing physical custody.

Legal custody allows a parent to make decisions for a child while physical custody means that a child lives with the parent. However, parents who don’t have physical custody will likely be granted the right to have their children visit during the day or stay overnight. Even if they don’t get along with each other, it is still possible for each parent to have a good relationship with his or her child.

Joint Custody Creates Better Parents

Obtaining custody rights gives a parent the autonomy and freedom to create boundaries tailored to his or her child’s needs. However, it also provides a parent with the responsibility to enforce those boundaries. This is necessary to maintain a healthy family life.

When parents live together, it may be tempting for one person to simply delegate some or all child care tasks to the other individual. However, when there is only one parent available to provide such care, he or she has to read that bedtime story or figure out a way to stop the baby from crying.

As most parents learn through experience, having to take an active role in a child’s life will help them in the long run. Getting to know their children on a deeper level may make it easier for parents to anticipate their needs. This could help prevent issues like drug use, skipping school or taking part in other harmful activities.

Children Have Stronger Relationships With Their Parents

Parents who share custody of their children must learn to work as a team. Since they both have rights to the child, one person cannot take steps in an effort to cut out his or her ex. Fortunately, many parents actually find that that they work together better without the stress of their own strained relationship weighing them down.

Therefore, the focus is typically truly on the child and his or her development into a functional adult. Even if the parents still don’t get along after their divorce is finalized, they generally have enough respect for each other to not interfere with the relationship that each person has with the child. When children don’t have to worry about drama involving their parents, they tend to feel more comfortable talking about their feelings.

It May Cost Less to Simply Share Custody

Assuming that both parents are fit to have relationships with their children, opting for joint custody may help everyone save time and money. This is because there will be no need to go to court or spend an exorbitant amount on legal fees. However, it may be a good idea to have a child custody attorney review a parenting plan or any other agreement before it becomes binding. A lawyer might also be present during mediation sessions to help resolve issues before or after the divorce.

If you need a child custody attorney to help with a dispute with your child’s other parent, the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner can help. You can call our Jenkintown, PA, office at (215) 886-1266 to schedule a consultation. We’re prepared to answer your questions. You can also get in touch with us by sending a fax to (215) 886-2670.