Divorce and Family Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Divorce Lawyer Joanne Kleiner

Divorce

Sep 10

Military Divorces

Jenkintown Pennsylvania Military Divorce Lawyer

Female soldierMany of the issues that arise in civilian family law apply to military families as well. There are, however, a handful of issues that are unique to military families that are affected by existing law and case precedent. For example, the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA) effects how retirement pay, health benefits, and eligibility for commissary are determined in a military divorce. If you’re enlisted or married to someone who is, it’s essential that you understand how marital and retirement assets will be divided, what the court takes into consideration when determining child custody, and how child and spousal support payments will be estimated after the court reviews your situation.

Child Custody and Military Divorce

Soldiers that are deployed overseas or are required to move from location to location will encounter unique issues when it comes to child custody and visitation. In general, the court will award custody according to what it believes is in the best interest of a child. If you or your spouse is actively deployed, it’s unlikely the court will award physical custody of your children to you. If both you and your spouse are in the military, the court will want to review how your possible deployment overseas could affect your children.

Our attorneys can help you evaluate the options available to you and discuss alternatives in case you or your ex-spouse are deployed. For example, it may be necessary to arrange for a close family member to take custody of your children until you are in a position to take custody of them again.

Division of Military Benefits after Divorce

The division of military benefits can be complicated by a number of factors. First, under the USFSPA, states may divide a serviceman’s pension if they have jurisdiction over him or her. This means a soldier stationed in Pennsylvania, but a resident of different state, must consent to giving Pennsylvania jurisdiction over him or her. If a serviceman does not give his or her consent to a Pennsylvania court, his or her ex-spouse will have to file a petition in the serviceman’s home state to have the military pension in question divided.

Secondly, there is no minimum number of years a military couple or serviceman has to be married before his or her pension can be divided. Rather, under the USFSPA, if there is 10 years of marriage that overlap 10 years of military service, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) will cut a check for the ex-spouse in order to pay the military benefit so ordered. When a marriage is less than 10 years, the serviceman is typically responsible for paying his or her ex-spouse what is owed them.

Third, in the state of California, ex-spouses can elect when they want to be paid their share of a military retirement benefit under the so-called “Gilmore Election.” Essentially, this involves deciding whether you want to wait until a serviceman is retired or be paid now and risk losing additional benefits accrued over the course of a military career.

Contact Military Divorce Attorney Joanne Kleiner

There are a number of issues that need to be discussed and understood in military divorces. If you have questions and would like information regarding how we can help you, contact Jenkintown military family law attorney p Joanne Kleiner today to learn how we can help you.

Jul 08

Uncoupling – Avoiding Acting on Negative Emotions

Couple separated on couchUncoupling, whether you are in a marriage, a common law marriage, or a same-sex marriage, can be extremely traumatic, and at the same time, you must navigate these rocky shoals because there are many practical issues that must be resolved.

In fact, many marriage counselors contend that the level of emotional healing you are able to reach during your divorce will help you to embark upon your future with both feet firmly on the ground.

So, with the goal of healing in mind, and feeling positive about your future, avoiding acting on your negative emotions can be difficult, but is necessary. Ironically the separation and divorce process can often trigger you to act, or to threaten to act, thereby signaling your own upset – and potentially causing hurt to the other party.

Leaving Children out of Divorce or Separation Arguments

However, acting out or power-struggling with your soon-to-be ex is going to hurt you (and potentially any involved children as they will FEEL your stress and upset – even if you don’t communicate details to them) in the long run. Before you make that phone call that will be laden with angry conflict, or inform your attorney that it HAS to be this way about the custody, division of property, or other legal issue, vent to someone who is supportive, capable, and willing to listen – and not to your children. Children are essentially captive audiences – they have no choice but to listen to a parent.

If you feel too vulnerable to discuss it with a friend, speak to a counselor, or even a clergy member such as a minister or rabbi. But find someone who will help you to let off steam. Once you express to someone how hurt you are or how upset you are over the particular topic in mind, you will be able to approach the actual discussion of this topic with your attorney or soon-to-be ex with more calm and detachment. This will ultimately help you save wear and tear on your physical wellbeing, as well as the unnecessary further complication of an already trying situation.

Contact Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates

At the Jenkintown law firm of Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, family law attorney and divorce lawyer Joanne Kleiner utilizes her more than 25 years of experience to ensure you have the information you need to make intelligent and informed decisions, and that you fully understand the benefits and risks associated with those decisions.

Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation by calling 215-886-1266, or fill out our online intake form. Your future is too important to trust to a less experienced lawyer.

Jan 16, 2014

Parenting Tips During Divorce

Children don’t get a say in their parents’ divorce. And divorce is difficult on children. They will have grief and many other emotions relating to the earth essentially shaking beneath their feet. That said, there are ways to help them move through it and have a healthy divorce without causing your child additional hurt.

It goes without saying that most parents are hurting while they are going through a divorce, especially if you didn’t initiate the divorce or are having a difficult time coming to terms with your soon to be ex spouse. Know that you are going to be self-absorbed. Know that there is going to be chaos. Know that there is going to be uncertainty. And figure that into the equation of your parenting.

First and foremost, get the support and marshal the resources that you will need to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually during divorce. You can’t well take good care of others if you aren’t able to care for yourself.

Reassure Your Children That You Will Always Be There for Them

Help your children understand that things are changing, but that you and they will all be okay. Let them know that things might be hard or confusing right now, but reassure them that both parents (if that is the case) will always be there for them. Don’t try to pretend that everything’s going to be perfect. Because your children will know you for a liar and that strategy will only backfire.

Make room in yourself to listen to their fears and upsets. And try not to get upset by their upsets. They need you to listen to their concerns and fears. Half the battle with kids through divorce is just letting them have and express their feelings in the only ways they know how, which is often by difficult behavior.

Keep Kids Out of Your Problems

Keep the kids out of your problems. Do not burden them with all of your upsets relating to the divorce. They have no ability to understand what’s really going on and they will naturally want to protect you, but that’s impossible, because you are the parent. Get listened to from professionals, from friends who can actually support you, and from family members and clergy who will take the time to hear you out.

Don’t Argue With Your Spouse or Your Attorney Within the Kids Earshot

Try to avoid meeting the attorney or having upsetting phone calls relating to the divorce while they are around. They will have an even more difficult time if they hear you raging or going on about how hard it is or how upset you are.

Maintain Continuity and Structure as Much as Possible During Chaotic Transitions

Work hard to maintain a home structure that will work for you and the kids. Even if at this point your children are just starting to go back and forth between you and your spouse, and you haven’t yet come to any settlements, see if you can’t maintain some level of continuity in how you transition from your household to your spouse’s.

Do not ask your child to tell his or her father or mother anything.

Explain to them what’s happening, but don’t go into great detail. Tell them briefly your feelings, such as: “It’s sad, but we’re working it out.” Or, “We’re upset right now, but we’re going to be okay.” Or: “It’s confusing right now, but we’ll get it all sorted out.” They don’t need the detail and will likely have a hard time comprehending it, in any case.

When Kids Act Out

More likely, in most cases, they will show you how they feel by their behavior. This may mean you’ll see more acting out, reversion to earlier behaviors when they were younger, more anger, or more distance toward you or the other parent.

If you are seeing these types of behavior in your child, the most appropriate thing for you to do is realize that your child is scared and upset, and needs you to come even closer in connection. The child needs to release his or her upsets and fears, and you or the other parent are the ones that he or she feels safest with. Tell yourself that this is only a phase and it will pass.

Visit the HandinHandparenting.org website, a nonprofit forum and support group that is free for parents that can help you address how to resolve your own hurts and parent as effectively as possible through divorce.

Get the help you need to grieve the end of your family and your dreams. And remember, after every ending, is a new beginning – if you let it happen. Your kids are watching you and absorbing how you grow through this process. Care for yourself, and allow this to be a move that will bring good things into your new life for all.

Concerned About Protecting Your Children Through Your Divorce? Skilled Jenkintown Child Support and Family Law Attorney

Discuss your concerns relating to child custody, divorce and other family law matters with a knowledgeable, experienced family law attorney. To schedule a completely confidential consultation with a knowledgeable and caring family law attorney at Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, in Jenkintown, PA, please call 215-886-1266 or you can fill out our intake form and we will contact you.

Keeping you focused on the big picture and the issues that matter most…Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates. We serve clients throughout Montgomery, Bucks, Philadelphia counties, and the surrounding areas in matters involving Social Services, Child Protection, child custody, support, divorce, and other family law matters.

Nov 27, 2013

Is It Better Financially to Stay Married?

Some 2.8 million men and women go through divorce each year. Studies indicate that the first year after divorce a woman’s income can drop almost 27 percent, while the man’s drops up to 10 percent. Financial stability is definitely an issue after divorce.

If you are in dire financial straits, you might be asking yourself if it’s a better idea for you and your spouse to stay married, rather than get the divorce that you had initially considered. The question is, if you are miserable in the marriage, and have done everything you can to resolve your differences, then it may be time to let go.

Some people find that living in a loveless marriage impacts their ability to be their best in the workplace. They may even find that they are sabotaging important career opportunities, which may be tied to the misery in the home. Being married to someone you are unhappy with can be incredibly depressing, as well. You are the only one who really knows if / when you are ready to truly separate and divorce.

Additionally, perhaps your spouse has lost his or her job, and your house is underwater, so you may be carrying a lot of the economic weight, which can be burdening you unduly.

Should you decide to divorce, be clear ahead of time what you need to do to put yourself in line for economic stability as you transition into life as a single man or woman. In other words, prepare for your divorce, just as you would prepare for any other life-changing action. There are significant costs to divorce, including therapist costs, legal bills, court costs, and new living expenses that you will be paying on your own.

Consider the timing of your separation. If you’re due for a big bonus at work at year’s end, you might consider separating before year’s end. On the other hand, if your spouse is expecting a bonus and you know about it, why not wait out the marriage till the bonus comes, if it’s in the near future. As well, if you have been married 10 years, rather than nine, you will be eligible to collect social Security on your ex’s earnings record. You might consider purchasing all that you need before you separate, including dental issues such as braces for the kids as well as car maintenance or replacement.

Reasons Unhappily Married People Stay Married

According to a recent study by law firm slater and Gordon, of the United Kingdom, the top reason that spouses who are unhappy remain together is that they are afraid to divorce. One-fifth of the 2,000 married respondents said they would stay married unless their could somehow guarantee their financial stability after divorce.

The top five reasons people stay in unhappy marriages include:

5. Won’t have financial security
4. Too big an impact on the kids
3. Hope that things will get better
2. Fear that they will regret it after
1. Not sure they have the courage to go through with it

According to a long-term study by Kenneth Couch, College of Liberal Arts and Sciences Professor at UConn, divorce does have impact on the economic well being of women. The study, which covered 40 years across 2,000 women’s life spans, indicates that family structure does seem to have significant impact on a woman’s financial well-being. Women who divorced in the 70s lost ground economically, unless they married again.

Wondering the Pros/Cons of Staying Married for Financial Reasons? Skilled Jenkintown Child Support and Family Law Attorney

To schedule a completely confidential consultation with a knowledgeable and caring family law attorney at Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, in Jenkintown, PA, please call 215-886-1266 or you can fill out our intake form and we will contact you.

Keeping you focused on the big picture and the issues that matter most…Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates. We serve clients throughout Montgomery, Bucks, Philadelphia counties, and the surrounding areas in matters involving Social Services, Child Protection, child custody, support, divorce, and other family law matters.

Nov 06, 2013

Can I Move After My Divorce?

Naturally, you can move after your divorce, if you do not have any children. However, if you have children, the situation is not so simple. If you are the custodial parent and the other parent also has custodial rights, you cannot actually relocate if the move will significantly impact the other parent’s ability to participate in the parenting of the child in question.

However, in Pennsylvania, the New Child Custody Law or Act 112, which went into

This means that even if you want to move to a different county in Pennsylvania, you will need to obtain legal permission from your child’s other parent. This is the way it’s been since Governor Rendell signed the New Child Custody Law, or Act 112, which went into effect on January 24, 2011.

To move beyond a specified geographic distance, you must first give notice to your child’s other parent, letting them know your:

  • New intended address
  • The school district and the school
  • Why you want to move
  • Proposal for a revised custody arrangement
  • Counter-Affidavit Regarding Relocation, the paper that the non-relocating parent would need to object or agree to the move

This information must be provided to the other person 60 days or more before the date of the proposed move. There are some exceptions to the relocation rule, but they are considered on an individual basis.

If the parent who is non-relocating objects, and he or she has 30 days to object by filing that Counter-Affidavit with the Court, then the case will need to be heard by the Court. A judge will then hear both sides and determine whether circumstances justify approving a move that one parent is against.

The court considers both parents’ bonds with any involved children equally important. They work from the perspective that despite a divorce, both parents can play and should play a significant role in parenting the child, unless a parent has been found to be harmful to the welfare of the said child.

Questions About How to Approach a Move After Divorce? Skilled Jenkintown Child Support and Family Law Attorney

Considering relocation? There are a number of steps you need to go through, including gaining approval from the noncustodial parent and/or the court. Maximize your chances for success. Discuss your plans and goals with an experienced attorney.

To schedule a completely confidential consultation with a knowledgeable and caring family law attorney at Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, in Jenkintown, PA, please call 215-886-1266 or you can fill out our intake form and we will contact you.

Keeping you focused on the big picture and the issues that matter most… Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates. We serve clients throughout Montgomery, Bucks, Philadelphia counties, and the surrounding areas in matters involving Social Services, Child Protection, child custody, support, divorce, and other family law matters.