Uncoupling, whether you are in a marriage, a common law marriage, or a same-sex marriage, can be extremely traumatic, and at the same time, you must navigate these rocky shoals because there are many practical issues that must be resolved.
In fact, many marriage counselors contend that the level of emotional healing you are able to reach during your divorce will help you to embark upon your future with both feet firmly on the ground.
So, with the goal of healing in mind, and feeling positive about your future, avoiding acting on your negative emotions can be difficult, but is necessary. Ironically the separation and divorce process can often trigger you to act, or to threaten to act, thereby signaling your own upset – and potentially causing hurt to the other party.
Leaving Children out of Divorce or Separation Arguments
However, acting out or power-struggling with your soon-to-be ex is going to hurt you (and potentially any involved children as they will FEEL your stress and upset – even if you don’t communicate details to them) in the long run. Before you make that phone call that will be laden with angry conflict, or inform your attorney that it HAS to be this way about the custody, division of property, or other legal issue, vent to someone who is supportive, capable, and willing to listen – and not to your children. Children are essentially captive audiences – they have no choice but to listen to a parent.
If you feel too vulnerable to discuss it with a friend, speak to a counselor, or even a clergy member such as a minister or rabbi. But find someone who will help you to let off steam. Once you express to someone how hurt you are or how upset you are over the particular topic in mind, you will be able to approach the actual discussion of this topic with your attorney or soon-to-be ex with more calm and detachment. This will ultimately help you save wear and tear on your physical wellbeing, as well as the unnecessary further complication of an already trying situation.
Contact Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates
At the Jenkintown law firm of Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, family law attorney and divorce lawyer Joanne Kleiner utilizes her more than 25 years of experience to ensure you have the information you need to make intelligent and informed decisions, and that you fully understand the benefits and risks associated with those decisions.