Divorce and Family Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Divorce Lawyer Joanne Kleiner

Divorce

Oct 30, 2024

Tips to Keep Divorce Mediation Civil

Although Joanne Kleiner, Esq. will guide you through the process as your mediation divorce lawyer, here are some following suggestions and tips during the divorce mediation process. Divorce can be one of life’s most challenging experiences. When emotions run high, it’s easy for productive conversations to take a back seat. This is where divorce mediation can make a difference, offering a less confrontational path to reach a fair resolution. In divorce mediation, couples work with a neutral third party to communicate and negotiate key issues. However, maintaining respectful communication in mediation is essential to achieving a productive outcome. Here are practical tips to help you keep mediation civil and focused, ensuring a smoother, more effective process for everyone involved.

1. Set Clear Goals for the Mediation Process

Start by defining your goals for mediation. What are the main issues you hope to resolve? Consider aspects like child custody, division of assets, and spousal support. Knowing your priorities can help you approach each session with clarity and purpose. This also allows you to stay focused on achieving a fair outcome rather than getting sidetracked by past grievances. At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we encourage clients to think carefully about their objectives before entering mediation, so they can remain grounded and goal-oriented throughout the process.

2. Keep Emotions in Check During Sessions

Divorce is emotional, and it’s natural to feel anger, sadness, or frustration. But when it comes to mediation, these emotions can interfere with productive communication. It’s crucial to recognize your feelings and manage them during sessions. Techniques like deep breathing, mindful listening, and maintaining a calm demeanor can help. Remember, mediation is about finding solutions, not revisiting old arguments. Try to separate your feelings about the relationship from your goals for the mediation outcome.

3. Focus on Solutions, Not Blame

One of the most effective ways to keep mediation civil is to focus on solutions rather than assigning blame. Avoid language that points fingers or criticizes. Instead of saying, “You never supported me,” try rephrasing to express your needs: “I need to ensure financial stability moving forward.” Focusing on solutions helps move the conversation in a constructive direction. Joanne E. Kleiner, with over 35 years of family law experience, notes that mediation works best when each party focuses on practical solutions instead of past conflicts.

4. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is a vital communication skill in mediation. When your ex-spouse speaks, listen carefully without interrupting. Paraphrase their statements to show you understand their perspective. For example, if they express concerns about child visitation schedules, you might respond with, “I hear that you’re concerned about time with our children.” This approach shows respect and keeps the conversation respectful. Studies indicate that active listening can significantly improve communication outcomes in high-stress situations, making it an essential tool in mediation.

5. Use “I” Statements to Express Your Needs

Using “I” statements can reduce the perception of blame and help keep conversations civil. For example, instead of saying, “You never help with finances,” try, “I feel concerned about financial stability.” “I” statements allow you to communicate your feelings and needs without making the other person feel attacked. This approach encourages open dialogue and keeps discussions more productive.

6. Prepare for Each Session with Your Attorney

Preparation can make a significant difference in the effectiveness of mediation. Meet with your attorney before each session to discuss goals, challenges, and strategies. The Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner helps clients prepare by outlining negotiation tactics, clarifying non-negotiables, and identifying potential bargaining chips. Preparation helps you approach each session with confidence, clarity, and a plan to communicate effectively.

7. Take Breaks if Needed

Mediation can be intense, especially when discussing sensitive topics like custody or finances. If tensions start to rise, don’t hesitate to ask for a break. Short breaks allow you to regain your composure and approach the discussion with a clear mind. Taking breaks is a common practice in mediation and can prevent conversations from becoming too heated.

8. Set Boundaries and Respect Each Other’s Time

Setting boundaries can help maintain a respectful environment in mediation. This includes respecting each other’s time and avoiding excessive venting during sessions. Stick to the topics relevant to your goals and save any emotional processing for discussions outside of mediation. Respecting each other’s boundaries helps keep conversations on track and productive.

9. Trust the Mediation Process

Mediation is designed to help both parties find a fair resolution. Trusting the process, and the mediator’s guidance, can help you remain patient and open-minded. The mediator’s role is to facilitate constructive dialogue, not to take sides. At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we emphasize the importance of trusting in the process and staying focused on the end goal—a resolution that both parties can live with.

10. Focus on the Big Picture

It’s easy to get caught up in details or disagreements. But in mediation, it’s important to focus on the big picture—your future and the well-being of any children involved. Ask yourself if each discussion point brings you closer to a resolution. Remembering the broader goal can help you maintain a positive, solution-focused mindset throughout the process.

11. Be Willing to Compromise

Compromise is key in mediation. While it’s natural to have preferences, maintaining flexibility helps both parties feel heard and respected. According to studies, couples who enter mediation with a willingness to compromise reach settlements more quickly and with less emotional strain. If an issue is particularly important to your ex-spouse, consider finding common ground that balances both parties’ needs.

12. Keep Communication Respectful After Mediation Ends

Mediation often extends beyond the final session, especially when children are involved. Building respectful communication practices during mediation can help foster positive interactions after the process ends. The skills you develop in mediation—active listening, compromise, and emotional management—can improve long-term co-parenting and reduce conflicts down the road.

How the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner Can Help

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a successful mediation. At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we provide clients with the tools and support they need to communicate productively and reach fair solutions. With over 35 years of family law experience, we understand the challenges of divorce and mediation, and we’re committed to helping clients navigate these processes with confidence and clarity.

Whether you’re considering mediation or preparing to work with another mediator, we’re here to provide guidance every step of the way. We’ll help you define your goals, prepare for discussions, and stay focused on achieving a resolution that aligns with your best interests. Our approach to family law is personalized, compassionate, and results-oriented, ensuring that you receive the highest level of support.

Contact Our Office Today

If you’re ready to explore mediation or have questions about your options, contact the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner. Schedule a private consultation by calling us at 215-886-1266 or reach out online. The choices you make today will shape your future. Let us help you make informed, confident decisions that protect your interests and support your journey forward.

Sep 13, 2024

Debunking Common Myths About Divorce Mediation

Divorce is often portrayed as a bitter, drawn-out process that can only be settled through litigation. While this is sometimes true, many couples find that divorce mediation offers a more peaceful and productive path forward. Unfortunately, a lot of misinformation surrounds the mediation process, leading to confusion about its benefits and limitations.

At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we specialize in family law mediation and have over 35 years of experience helping clients resolve their disputes amicably. In this blog, we’ll address some of the most common myths about divorce mediation to help you better understand what to expect from the process.

Myth 1: Mediation Only Works if Both Parties Agree on Everything

Many people believe that mediation is only for couples who are already on the same page about key issues like property division, child custody, and support. However, mediation is specifically designed to help parties resolve disputes. Even if you and your spouse have significant disagreements, a skilled mediator can help you find common ground.

The mediator’s role is to facilitate productive discussions and offer guidance that allows both parties to reach a mutually beneficial agreement. You don’t have to start with an agreement to finish with one.

Myth 2: You Don’t Need an Attorney in Mediation

While it’s true that mediation doesn’t involve a judge, that doesn’t mean you should go through it without legal representation. A family law attorney plays a critical role in mediation by advising you on your rights, helping you prepare for negotiations, and ensuring that any agreements you reach are in your best interest.

At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we guide our clients through mediation, ensuring that they are well-prepared and fully understand the process. Whether you’re working with one of our mediators or another mediator, having legal support can make a big difference in the outcome.

Myth 3: Mediation Is Always Faster Than Litigation

Mediation is typically faster than litigation, but it’s not always a quick process. Complex issues such as business ownership, high-value assets, or intricate custody arrangements can take time to resolve. However, the benefit of mediation is that the timeline is in your control—not a judge’s. This flexibility allows for more thorough discussion and creative problem-solving, which may take longer but often leads to better, more durable solutions.

Myth 4: Mediated Agreements Are Not Legally Binding

Some believe that because a mediator doesn’t have the authority to issue orders, agreements reached in mediation aren’t legally binding. This is incorrect. Once both parties agree on the terms and the agreement is finalized, it can be submitted to a court and entered as a binding order. Both parties are then legally obligated to adhere to the terms, just as they would be if the agreement were reached in court.

Myth 5: Mediation Doesn’t Work in High-Conflict Divorces

While it’s true that mediation may not be the right fit for couples dealing with domestic violence or extreme power imbalances, it can be effective in many high-conflict situations. A skilled mediator helps keep the conversation focused on solutions rather than letting emotions take over. If both parties are willing to try, mediation can even help de-escalate conflict and lead to more constructive conversations.

How the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner Can Help

At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we believe that mediation is a powerful tool for resolving family law disputes, and we’re committed to helping our clients navigate the process effectively. Whether you’re considering mediation for your divorce or need guidance on a specific issue, our team has the experience and expertise to ensure that your interests are protected.

If you have questions about whether mediation is right for your situation, contact us today to schedule a consultation. Let us help you find a peaceful and positive path forward.

Aug 09, 2024

How to Benefit From a Former Spouse’s Work Record

Gray divorce has been on the rise over the past 30 years while the divorce rates of younger age groups have fallen. Although a divorce later in life can wreak havoc on your retirement savings, this isn’t always the case. Depending on the details of your situation, it may be possible to claim Social Security benefits based on your former spouse’s work record.

Know Eligibility Criteria Before You Apply

There are several criteria that you’ll need to meet if you’d like to file a claim based on your former spouse’s work record. First, you will need to be at least 62 years of age when you file. Next, you’re only eligible if you were married to your former spouse for at least 10 years, and you must be single at the time of filing. An exception may apply if you remarried and the marriage ended because of a divorce or because your most recent spouse passed away.

Your Former Spouse Is Largely Not a Factor

You won’t need to ask permission from your former spouse to file a claim based on their work record. In fact, your spouse doesn’t have to know you filed at all, and their benefit won’t be impacted by the fact that you have sought benefits off of their earnings history.

You should also know that your former spouse doesn’t have to be receiving benefits before you file a request. Finally, you can still get benefits even if your former spouse is remarried. However, to receive divorce benefits, your former spouse does need to at least be eligible for their own benefits. You will also need to wait at least two years after the divorce before seeking these benefits.

How to Determine the Amount of Your Monthly Payment

The Social Security Administration (SSA) will only issue one payment per month. Typically, this is the greater of your own benefit or 50% of your former spouse’s benefit. For example, say you were due $1,000 per month based on your own work record. If half of your former spouse’s benefit would be less than $1,000 per month, you would file based on your own work record.

There are a couple of ways that you can determine how much your former spouse is set to receive. First, you can simply ask them directly. However, if you don’t think that your former spouse is going to respond to your inquiry, you can always contact the SSA directly.

You’ll Need to Wait for Your Full Benefit

Although you can file for benefits at age 62, you won’t receive your maximum benefit until reaching full retirement age (FRA). If you were born prior to 1960, your FRA occurs when you reach your 67th birthday. It is important to note that if you apply for benefits based on your work record, your monthly benefit amount continues to increase until you turn 70. However, with divorce benefits, your benefit maxes out when you reach your FRA.

Other Issues to Consider

If you are working or collecting a pension from your own employer, it might impact your ability to collect divorce benefits. Your divorce lawyer can discuss with you what might happen if either of those scenarios apply in your case. The attorney might also be able to help you gather the documents needed to get your claim approved.

For instance, you’ll likely need a copy of both your marriage license and divorce decree, and in some cases, you’ll be required to provide original copies of those documents. You can ask your attorney or visit the SSA website to get a full list of records you may need.

If you are in need of a divorce lawyer, don’t hesitate to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner today. You can reach our Jenkintown office by calling 215-886-1266 or by sending a message through the contact form on our firm’s website.

Aug 05, 2024

Integrative Mediation: A New Approach to Divorce Worth Considering

There was a divorce rate of 2.2 per thousand in Pennsylvania in 2022, and it continues to drop. This is good news, although there are still times when a divorce is what both parties prefer. Below, we discuss the components of integrative divorce mediation.

What Is Integrative Divorce Mediation?

There are several ways for couples to end a marriage other than going through an adversarial courtroom battle. A newer type of divorce is what’s known as integrative mediation proceedings. This involves both of the spouses and a series of experts, which may include a mediator, attorneys, mental health experts, psychologists, and financial experts.

How Does Integrative Mediation Work?

While it’s not unusual for estranged couples or their respective divorce lawyers to call in experts, these professionals usually don’t work together. With an integrative divorce, the experts work together to help reach an acceptable agreement between both parties. These experts are neutral in that they want what’s best for both parties, not one party or the other.

What Are the Benefits of Integrative Mediation?

It’s a less contentious process since the experts are neutral and not favoring one party or the other. Also, the process is generally smoother and more civil. A wide range of topics can be covered during the mediation process when discussing the end of a marriage, including division of assets, spousal support, and who gets the marital home. The process is often completed with an agreement that spells out everything that was agreed upon by both couples in writing.

With a traditional divorce, the professionals work independently of one another and have one party’s interests in mind only. This often results in important matters being overlooked. Or worse yet, the experts for each party may fail to agree on much of anything. This can draw out the divorce process.

With court proceedings, there tends to be an adversarial approach to divorce. In other words, there are more likely to be disagreements. In this instance, the judge may make decisions that don’t fully benefit either party.

With an integrative mediation process, both parties get to pick the professionals involved. These experts are mutually agreed upon, and they can be changed throughout the process if so desired.

Who Should Try Integrative Mediation?

This type of mediation doesn’t work for all couples. If a couple is unable to agree on anything, for example, a divorce lawyer may get involved, or a judge may make final decisions about such things as alimony and division of assets. Generally, there has to be a willingness to work together by both parties. If one party is absolutely insistent on getting their way, for instance, integrative mediation would not be effective.

How Do You Create an Integrative Mediation Team?

An online search is a good way to start. If this doesn’t work out for you, consider working with an attorney to find experts. Keep in mind, the experts an attorney finds for one party must be acceptable to the other party and their attorney. All professionals involved must agree to work together as you end a marriage. It’s usually best to research the professionals you wish to work with ahead of time to determine if they (a) participate in integrative mediation and (b) can remain neutral.

Can Integrative Mediation Work When Children Are Involved?

Absolutely. This type of divorce is often recommended for situations of this nature. Because integrative mediation is based on mutual agreement, there’s less likely to be fighting over issues related to child custody such as parenting time and visitation. This is ultimately better for the children and parents. Any differences are usually worked out peacefully. In this instance, the experts work together to offer compromises if there is disagreement over parenting time.

What Are the Costs Associated With Integrative Mediation?

Costs vary. However, the final costs are often lower than what’s associated with court-based divorces or mediation where both parties hire their own set of experts. In this case, expenses for the experts involved can be shared if there is mutual agreement to do so.

How Long Does Integrative Mediation Take?

It depends on the issues involved. Normally, this type of mediation is completed faster than what’s typical with court proceedings or traditional mediation.

Who Can Benefit From Integrative Mediation?

Couples of all ages can benefit from integrative mediation. It also works for couples with or without children. Additionally, you don’t need to have significant assets to benefit from integrative mediation. Couples with only minimal assets, for example, can still get advice from experts on basic divorce issues such as who gets the house and how what’s in the bank is divided.

Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner today to speak with a Pennsylvania divorce lawyer about the integrative mediation process or other issues related to divorce.

Jul 14, 2024

When Only One Spouse Wants A Divorce

What Happens When Only One Spouse Is Ready for Divorce?

Divorce rates have consistently declined in the United States over the last few decades, and Pennsylvania currently has one of the lowest ones in the country. However, not all couples wish to remain married, and sometimes, only one person wants to proceed with the divorce. This situation can complicate things, but in the end, if one person wants a divorce, they will be able to acquire one.

Each Spouse Has Their Own Journey

Both spouses rarely decide on divorce at the same time. Usually, one spouse might consider it first, but the other spouse might not agree immediately. Some couples might choose couples therapy to work on their relationship. When couples are in opposite emotional places—with one set on divorce and the other focused on the marriage—they might choose a short-term therapy called discernment therapy. There are few sessions to this type of therapy, and the therapist meets with the couple and then with each person individually during each session. By the end of the process, the spouses decide on whether they want to continue or not. The goal of discernment therapy is that each spouse gets to know themselves better and that each gains a deeper understanding of their marriage so they can be more confident in deciding where to go from there.

When Only One Spouse Wants to Move Forward With the Divorce

Even after therapy, only one spouse might be ready to move forward with the divorce, so they may face resistance from the unwilling spouse. That resistance might be expressed in different ways, all of which could affect the process. Some of the ways a spouse’s reluctance may manifest include:

  • Agreeing to the divorce and then not going through with anything requested of them
  • Using emotional manipulation and threats to attempt to control the other spouse
  • Acting in a loving, supportive way, hoping for a reconciliation then lashing out in anger when the reconciliation does not happen

Approaching an Unwilling Spouse

If you anticipate that your spouse will be reluctant to pursue a divorce, you need to figure out the best way to approach them. Understanding why you are choosing to end the marriage will be difficult for them, but showing them compassion from the beginning can help them eventually understand your decision and, in turn, realize that the marriage is over. However, you need to also be sure that divorce is the path you want to take, as you will need to be firm when you do speak to them about it. Before you have the conversation, be prepared to explain why you want the divorce while remaining respectful of your spouse and their feelings.

Choosing a Non-Adversarial Divorce Process

One of the ways you can show your spouse that you have compassion for their situation is by choosing a non-adversarial divorce process. Not all divorces have to be long, drawn-out court battles. Once you have decided to move forward, you should speak with a divorce lawyer about your choices. You have several options to choose from that allow you and your spouse to keep more control over your decisions in a more private setting, which can help when the other spouse might still be unsure about where the marriage is heading. Some of these options include:

  • Collaborative divorce
  • Divorce mediation
  • Divorce arbitration

These alternative dispute resolution options can help you avoid litigation. Your divorce lawyer can invite your spouse to begin the process and advise about what to do if they are still reluctant and combative about the process.

Finding the Right Attorney Is Important

Divorce is complex even when both spouses agree to move forward with it. Finding the right attorney is important. You should find a Pennsylvania lawyer who will listen to you about your situation and your desires for the process and beyond, who will explain your options carefully and advise you as to the ones that will meet your needs. At the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner, you can find the compassion and guidance you seek. Call us today at 215-886-1266 or use our contact page to set up an appointment at our Jenkintown office.