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Divorce and Family Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Divorce Lawyer Joanne Kleiner

Mediated divorce

Sep 13, 2024

Debunking Common Myths About Divorce Mediation

Divorce is often portrayed as a bitter, drawn-out process that can only be settled through litigation. While this is sometimes true, many couples find that divorce mediation offers a more peaceful and productive path forward. Unfortunately, a lot of misinformation surrounds the mediation process, leading to confusion about its benefits and limitations.

At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we specialize in family law mediation and have over 35 years of experience helping clients resolve their disputes amicably. In this blog, we’ll address some of the most common myths about divorce mediation to help you better understand what to expect from the process.

Myth 1: Mediation Only Works if Both Parties Agree on Everything

Many people believe that mediation is only for couples who are already on the same page about key issues like property division, child custody, and support. However, mediation is specifically designed to help parties resolve disputes. Even if you and your spouse have significant disagreements, a skilled mediator can help you find common ground.

The mediator’s role is to facilitate productive discussions and offer guidance that allows both parties to reach a mutually beneficial agreement. You don’t have to start with an agreement to finish with one.

Myth 2: You Don’t Need an Attorney in Mediation

While it’s true that mediation doesn’t involve a judge, that doesn’t mean you should go through it without legal representation. A family law attorney plays a critical role in mediation by advising you on your rights, helping you prepare for negotiations, and ensuring that any agreements you reach are in your best interest.

At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we guide our clients through mediation, ensuring that they are well-prepared and fully understand the process. Whether you’re working with one of our mediators or another mediator, having legal support can make a big difference in the outcome.

Myth 3: Mediation Is Always Faster Than Litigation

Mediation is typically faster than litigation, but it’s not always a quick process. Complex issues such as business ownership, high-value assets, or intricate custody arrangements can take time to resolve. However, the benefit of mediation is that the timeline is in your control—not a judge’s. This flexibility allows for more thorough discussion and creative problem-solving, which may take longer but often leads to better, more durable solutions.

Myth 4: Mediated Agreements Are Not Legally Binding

Some believe that because a mediator doesn’t have the authority to issue orders, agreements reached in mediation aren’t legally binding. This is incorrect. Once both parties agree on the terms and the agreement is finalized, it can be submitted to a court and entered as a binding order. Both parties are then legally obligated to adhere to the terms, just as they would be if the agreement were reached in court.

Myth 5: Mediation Doesn’t Work in High-Conflict Divorces

While it’s true that mediation may not be the right fit for couples dealing with domestic violence or extreme power imbalances, it can be effective in many high-conflict situations. A skilled mediator helps keep the conversation focused on solutions rather than letting emotions take over. If both parties are willing to try, mediation can even help de-escalate conflict and lead to more constructive conversations.

How the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner Can Help

At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we believe that mediation is a powerful tool for resolving family law disputes, and we’re committed to helping our clients navigate the process effectively. Whether you’re considering mediation for your divorce or need guidance on a specific issue, our team has the experience and expertise to ensure that your interests are protected.

If you have questions about whether mediation is right for your situation, contact us today to schedule a consultation. Let us help you find a peaceful and positive path forward.

Oct 05

Why Divorce Mediation May Be a Better Option for You

Why Divorce Mediation Works for All Parties

As of 2022, the median cost of a divorce in the United States is $7,000. Contested divorces with a wide range of disagreements require court settlements that may cost upwards of $20,000. Instead of dealing with the publicity, expense and long duration of a court battle, you may be able to work out areas of disagreement through divorce mediation. In addition to hiring a divorce lawyer to represent you, working with a divorce mediator helps you protect your long-term financial security and your short-term and long-term well-being.

What Does a Mediator Do?

A mediator acts as a neutral third party in order to manage the discussion and conflict between the estranged spouses. The goal of a mediator is to resolve disputes in a way that satisfies the interest of both partners. When people feel respected and listened to, they’re more likely to compromise and make fair and thoughtful decisions. Mediators would equalize the playing field and power level, even if there were a significant imbalance during the marriage.

How Is a Mediator Different from an Attorney?

A mediator has training and skills in resolving problems and managing conflicts. They help create agreements and use creative problem-solving skills to negotiate terms. A mediator starts by identifying where two parties agree. Then, they progress to determining and isolating the areas of disagreement and resolving them in a step-by-step, logical matter. Finally, the needs of both parties are acknowledged as essential and treated equally between the two parties.

An attorney has to represent their client with vigor. They work in competition with the opposing party in an adversarial environment. Attorneys use legal procedures to resolve points of conflict. Attorneys typically have an assertive problem-solving style, while mediators focus on cooperation.

What Are the Advantages of Choosing Divorce Mediation?

When you choose the process of divorce mediation, the settlement is in your control. When you retain control, you feel more at ease and less stressed. You can focus on settling areas of disagreement instead of negative feelings about your ex-spouse. Because you and your ex-spouse directly work with the mediator to create the settlement, both parties are more likely to uphold it. As a result, mediated divorces are more successful and less likely to end up in court.

A mediator charges less per hour than a divorce lawyer. When you and your estranged spouse have a lot of areas of disagreement, fighting it out in court could get expensive. Working it out with a mediator won’t cost as much, and you’ll be able to start your new life on a better financial foundation. In mediation, you have a cooperative mindset, while litigation creates an aggressive and belligerent attitude.

Working with a mediator keeps your business private. If you don’t want the public to know all of the details of what went wrong in your marriage or who gets what in the settlement process, working with a mediator preserves more of your privacy. Discussions with a mediator are private and confidential.

Working with a mediator reduces their burden if you and your spouse have minor children. They may not experience the anxiety and fear that come with a contested divorce that goes to court. When the two of you aren’t fighting and arguing about everything, you can focus your emotional energy on your child’s well-being and emotional health, as well as yourself. Mediation also shows responsible behavior and models the ability to have calm, productive discussions with a person, even if you don’t like them. Children are less likely to feel like pawns in a divorce when their parents work with a mediator.

If you are thinking about ending your marriage in a less-stressful manner, contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania at (215) 886-1266 to schedule a consultation. You may also fill out our contact form, and an office associate will promptly contact you to set up an appointment.

Sep 09

Facilitating an Uncontested Divorce Through Mediation

Divorce lawyers often recommend mediation when there is any hope of achieving an uncontested divorce as it leads to an agreement in upwards of 80% of cases. The average mediation is completed in three to six months whereas the average contested divorce is far lengthier. In addition, the cost of a traditional divorce can be 10 times higher than the cost to have your divorce mediated.

Qualifying for an Uncontested Divorce in Pennsylvania

If you would like a “no court” divorce, you must meet three criteria. At least one of you – you or your spouse – must be a resident of Pennsylvania for no less than six months before filing. Both spouses must agree on whether the case involves fault grounds or no-fault grounds. Many uncontested divorces are filed based on the ground of mutual consent, which has some special requirements that your mediator can assist with, such as affidavits and a 90-day waiting period. Both spouses must also agree on the issues in the divorce, and this is where a mediator can be especially helpful.

Agreement on Divorce Issues

Even if the spouses have a good relationship and fully intend to compromise with each other, reaching agreements on all the issues that need to be resolved can be difficult. The mediator does not represent one spouse or the other but, rather, guides both parties through this process. This includes determining how to divide marital property, how to allocate responsibilities for outstanding debts, whether one spouse will pay alimony and the amount, child support for dependent children, and child custody and visitation. While the mediator does not represent either party, both spouses can opt to have their own legal representation whose job it is to preserve their client’s rights.

Preparing, Filing and Serving Uncontested Divorce Papers

Paperwork must be completed and filed to begin the uncontested divorce process. Some Pennsylvania counties have their own forms as well, and your divorce lawyer can help ensure that all necessary documents are prepared and filed. The lawyer will also help you determine where to file. Typically, you should file in the county where your spouse resides, but that may not be the case if a couple is separated, or where they live presents issues. Once the documents have been filed, the divorce papers must be served to each spouse, which is an official process that the firm can oversee as well.

Uncontested Divorce Time Frame

As mentioned above, the average traditional divorce involving the courts takes 24 months. A mediated divorce will usually take at least three months as there is typically a 90-day waiting period requirement. It is unusual for a mediated divorce to take longer than six months to finalize.

Uncontested Divorce Expenses

There are costs to file with the courts, which are usually $200 to $300. The cost for mediation is typically $1,500 to $4,000 per person. There may be additional legal fees if you opt for personal representation. There can also be some additional expenses if you have to, for instance, make changes to retirement accounts. The average cost per person of a divorce that requires litigation is $20,000, and there can be many additional expenses as the case extends for months or even years.

Other Benefits of Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation puts your children first as it creates a harmonious family environment and eliminates the need for them to take the stand. It lets you shape the divorce to the specifics of your family. It is much less stressful and protects your privacy as you are not exposed to public court cases.

Divorce Mediation in Pennsylvania

If you’re considering divorce mediation, the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner is here to help. Our law firm has more than 25 years of experience helping both men and women get divorced and move forward with their lives. If you would like to schedule a consultation with a divorce lawyer, you can contact our Jenkintown office online or call us at 215-886-1266.

Apr 04

How to Handle Your Spouse’s Refusal of Divorce Mediation

Motivating Your Spouse to Agree to Divorce Mediation

Many divorce lawyers advise divorce mediation over the alternatives. Mediation results in an agreement in as many as 80% of all U.S. divorces that go through the process. Mediated divorces are finalized in three to six months on average compared to the two-year average span for litigated divorces, which can cost up to 10 times as much overall.

Identify the Reasons for the Refusal

It can be difficult, but strive to see the refusal through the eyes of your spouse. The most common reason a person refuses mediation is because they do not want to get divorced. If this is your situation, then you may not be ready for mediation and should seek marriage counseling instead.

Recognize That an Angry Spouse May Be a Deal-Breaker

If your spouse is hurt, there may be nothing you can do to change their mind. You can hope that counseling will work, but if you are beyond that point, you may have to shift focus. Also, many divorce lawyers agree that situations involving domestic violence cannot be mediated.

Manage Your Stress and Be Patient

If you move forward with counseling, it is advisable that together you choose someone who is a pro-marriage therapist who will advocate for your marriage. You should also approach this process with an open mind. It is also important that you manage your stress, and be patient. Your spouse likely will come to the table eventually, and it will still be on a shorter timetable than a litigated divorce would require.

Educate Your Spouse on Divorce Mediation

Many people do not know what mediation is. It may be human nature to see divorce as winning and losing. Truth is, there are no winners in a divorce, and mediation concerns mitigating the losses.

The Initial Process

In Pennsylvania, estranged couples can make the initial choice to go through mediation before any divorce paperwork is filed with the court. However, in the converse situation, judges will in many cases order that mediation take place, especially if there are child custody issues involved.

Offer to Pay for the First Mediation Session

You may be able to use that fact to motivate your spouse to go voluntarily. You may also want to offer to pay for the first session. A single mediation session is relatively inexpensive, and it allows your spouse the experience without any sense that they may be taken advantage of.

Recommend Your Spouse Retain an Attorney

Just because you decided to pursue mediation or if it has been ordered by the court does not mean that either of you have to go it alone. You are each entitled to have the assistance of separate family law attorneys to represent your respective interests and, if an agreement is reached, review its terms before it is signed and presented to the court.

Continue the Decoupling Process

Unless counseling has led to a change of heart for you, in which case this is all moot, it is important that you continue the process of decoupling yourself from the marriage. This process, which should be gentle and purposeful, is important on two fronts. It is important for your mental health and preparation for single life, and you may even want to attend individual counseling as this process unfolds. It is also important for your spouse so that they acclimate to the fact the marriage is coming to an end.

Mediate a Successful Divorce

If you are ready to move on from your Pennsylvania marriage but want to do so without bitterness and acrimony, divorce mediation is an excellent way to achieve that. At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we have more than 25 years of experience helping couples mediate their divorces and would welcome the opportunity to assist you. Call our office in Jenkintown at 215-886-1266 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with an experienced divorce attorney.

Aug 18

Divorce Mediation During the COVID-19 Pandemic

The Coronavirus Pandemic and Divorce Mediation

Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, divorce was a stressful proposition. In the midst of the health emergency, divorce lawyers have canceled in-person meetings. With Pennsylvania’s confirmed infection toll at over 124,000 as of August, many of the county courts are just starting to tackle a backlog of family court cases.

Understanding the Mediation Process

Divorce mediation is all about communication. Often, when couples reach the point of splitting up, there are emotional barriers that make direct communication difficult. In a mediation process, the couple sits with a third party who helps them talk through the many decisions a divorce requires. Mediation sessions will cover such areas as:

  • Division of property
  • Child support
  • Child custody
  • Alimony

Candidates for Mediation

Mediation minimizes the amount of time spent in a courtroom as well as often lowering the cost of the divorce. However, the mediation process is not for everyone. Spouses must maintain a decent level of communication. If one partner cannot be in the presence of the other without getting angry and upset, this process will not be helpful.

For a productive mediation, both spouses must be committed to the goal of peacefully ending the relationship. This is not a counseling session where a couple is trying to resolve issues and stay together. Mediation is a process for formally ending a marriage.

Virtual Technology and Mediation

Because mediation is about meaningful communication, virtual technology allows the process to continue during a time of social distancing. Using an online communication platform like Zoom, the couple can meet with their mediator in a virtual mediation session. A conference call is another way that partners can communicate with the mediator.

The spouses will deal with the same issues in a virtual setting. However, online mediation will bring new challenges. In most in-person mediation processes, the sessions end with the couple signing forms together at the legal office. An action that took a few minutes may be extended to days as forms travel by mail or the spouses make separate signing appointments.

Delays in Divorce Because of COVID-19

Mediation is not the final step in divorce proceedings. If the mediation is successful, the couple will have a separation agreement that handles the necessary aspects of dissolving the marriage. However, the court must approve the agreement, and the couple must swear to the agreement through the court. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic has slowed down this part of the divorce process.

The advantage of virtual mediation during the pandemic is that spouses do not have to wait to prepare the agreement. It is a great relief to have the separation agreement in writing and ready to go. As the courts reopen and begin to hear divorce cases, the couple will be ready for their final session.

Tips for Meaningful Communication on Virtual Platforms

The COVID-19 pandemic has moved a great deal of communication online. Of course, this kind of format is quite different than sitting face-to-face around a table. Couples can expect some challenges when working with this technology for mediation.

The couple should be prepared for pauses. Differing internet speeds can cause lag that disrupts the natural flow of conversation. When someone speaks, other participants should take a beat before responding. Participants can use hand gestures like waving to indicate that they would like to speak. In some cases, it will be best for the mediator to call on the participants for input.

The couple should be ready for the meeting. Online communication often feels less formal. However, these sessions will be the most productive if participants can minimize distractions and have all of their necessary documents in front of them.

Patience is a necessity. There will be frustrating moments during an online session. The technology may not always work perfectly. Children and pets will not always behave in the background. It is best to acknowledge the imperfections and move forward.

As a divorce lawyer in Pennsylvania, Joanne Kleiner can help you through the mediation process as either a mediator or legal advisor. To find out more, you can reach out to the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown through our website or by calling 215-886-1266.