Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Mediated divorce

Apr 04

How to Handle Your Spouse’s Refusal of Divorce Mediation

Motivating Your Spouse to Agree to Divorce Mediation

Many divorce lawyers advise divorce mediation over the alternatives. Mediation results in an agreement in as many as 80% of all U.S. divorces that go through the process. Mediated divorces are finalized in three to six months on average compared to the two-year average span for litigated divorces, which can cost up to 10 times as much overall.

Identify the Reasons for the Refusal

It can be difficult, but strive to see the refusal through the eyes of your spouse. The most common reason a person refuses mediation is because they do not want to get divorced. If this is your situation, then you may not be ready for mediation and should seek marriage counseling instead.

Recognize That an Angry Spouse May Be a Deal-Breaker

If your spouse is hurt, there may be nothing you can do to change their mind. You can hope that counseling will work, but if you are beyond that point, you may have to shift focus. Also, many divorce lawyers agree that situations involving domestic violence cannot be mediated.

Manage Your Stress and Be Patient

If you move forward with counseling, it is advisable that together you choose someone who is a pro-marriage therapist who will advocate for your marriage. You should also approach this process with an open mind. It is also important that you manage your stress, and be patient. Your spouse likely will come to the table eventually, and it will still be on a shorter timetable than a litigated divorce would require.

Educate Your Spouse on Divorce Mediation

Many people do not know what mediation is. It may be human nature to see divorce as winning and losing. Truth is, there are no winners in a divorce, and mediation concerns mitigating the losses.

The Initial Process

In Pennsylvania, estranged couples can make the initial choice to go through mediation before any divorce paperwork is filed with the court. However, in the converse situation, judges will in many cases order that mediation take place, especially if there are child custody issues involved.

Offer to Pay for the First Mediation Session

You may be able to use that fact to motivate your spouse to go voluntarily. You may also want to offer to pay for the first session. A single mediation session is relatively inexpensive, and it allows your spouse the experience without any sense that they may be taken advantage of.

Recommend Your Spouse Retain an Attorney

Just because you decided to pursue mediation or if it has been ordered by the court does not mean that either of you have to go it alone. You are each entitled to have the assistance of separate family law attorneys to represent your respective interests and, if an agreement is reached, review its terms before it is signed and presented to the court.

Continue the Decoupling Process

Unless counseling has led to a change of heart for you, in which case this is all moot, it is important that you continue the process of decoupling yourself from the marriage. This process, which should be gentle and purposeful, is important on two fronts. It is important for your mental health and preparation for single life, and you may even want to attend individual counseling as this process unfolds. It is also important for your spouse so that they acclimate to the fact the marriage is coming to an end.

Mediate a Successful Divorce

If you are ready to move on from your Pennsylvania marriage but want to do so without bitterness and acrimony, divorce mediation is an excellent way to achieve that. At the Law Office of Joanne E. Kleiner, we have more than 25 years of experience helping couples mediate their divorces and would welcome the opportunity to assist you. Call our office in Jenkintown at 215-886-1266 or contact us online to schedule a consultation with an experienced divorce attorney.

Aug 18

Divorce Mediation During the COVID-19 Pandemic

The Coronavirus Pandemic and Divorce Mediation

Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, divorce was a stressful proposition. In the midst of the health emergency, divorce lawyers have canceled in-person meetings. With Pennsylvania’s confirmed infection toll at over 124,000 as of August, many of the county courts are just starting to tackle a backlog of family court cases.

Understanding the Mediation Process

Divorce mediation is all about communication. Often, when couples reach the point of splitting up, there are emotional barriers that make direct communication difficult. In a mediation process, the couple sits with a third party who helps them talk through the many decisions a divorce requires. Mediation sessions will cover such areas as:

  • Division of property
  • Child support
  • Child custody
  • Alimony

Candidates for Mediation

Mediation minimizes the amount of time spent in a courtroom as well as often lowering the cost of the divorce. However, the mediation process is not for everyone. Spouses must maintain a decent level of communication. If one partner cannot be in the presence of the other without getting angry and upset, this process will not be helpful.

For a productive mediation, both spouses must be committed to the goal of peacefully ending the relationship. This is not a counseling session where a couple is trying to resolve issues and stay together. Mediation is a process for formally ending a marriage.

Virtual Technology and Mediation

Because mediation is about meaningful communication, virtual technology allows the process to continue during a time of social distancing. Using an online communication platform like Zoom, the couple can meet with their mediator in a virtual mediation session. A conference call is another way that partners can communicate with the mediator.

The spouses will deal with the same issues in a virtual setting. However, online mediation will bring new challenges. In most in-person mediation processes, the sessions end with the couple signing forms together at the legal office. An action that took a few minutes may be extended to days as forms travel by mail or the spouses make separate signing appointments.

Delays in Divorce Because of COVID-19

Mediation is not the final step in divorce proceedings. If the mediation is successful, the couple will have a separation agreement that handles the necessary aspects of dissolving the marriage. However, the court must approve the agreement, and the couple must swear to the agreement through the court. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic has slowed down this part of the divorce process.

The advantage of virtual mediation during the pandemic is that spouses do not have to wait to prepare the agreement. It is a great relief to have the separation agreement in writing and ready to go. As the courts reopen and begin to hear divorce cases, the couple will be ready for their final session.

Tips for Meaningful Communication on Virtual Platforms

The COVID-19 pandemic has moved a great deal of communication online. Of course, this kind of format is quite different than sitting face-to-face around a table. Couples can expect some challenges when working with this technology for mediation.

The couple should be prepared for pauses. Differing internet speeds can cause lag that disrupts the natural flow of conversation. When someone speaks, other participants should take a beat before responding. Participants can use hand gestures like waving to indicate that they would like to speak. In some cases, it will be best for the mediator to call on the participants for input.

The couple should be ready for the meeting. Online communication often feels less formal. However, these sessions will be the most productive if participants can minimize distractions and have all of their necessary documents in front of them.

Patience is a necessity. There will be frustrating moments during an online session. The technology may not always work perfectly. Children and pets will not always behave in the background. It is best to acknowledge the imperfections and move forward.

As a divorce lawyer in Pennsylvania, Joanne Kleiner can help you through the mediation process as either a mediator or legal advisor. To find out more, you can reach out to the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown through our website or by calling 215-886-1266.

Mar 13

Mediation Could Be Beneficial in a Divorce

A Happier Divorce Is Possible Through Mediation

Most divorce cases are actually settled out of court; only 5% go to trial. Divorce statistics show that nearly 90% of divorces that are mediated are settled successfully. Did you ever think of hiring a divorce mediation lawyer to make your divorce go more smoothly?

What Does Mediation Do?

Some think that settlement of issues is easier through an unbiased mediator who strives to have the two people reach an agreement. Divorce often brings up feelings of anger, but resentment and finger-pointing can actually make a divorce more expensive. Without the fighting, a more peaceful divorce is possible. As one of the most frequently used methods of navigating divorce, mediation has much in its favor. In fact, most divorce cases are settled out of court.

You’ll be meeting with a specially trained third party who is neutral. This mediator will work to help you resolve any issues that are related to the divorce. A quicker resolution with less stress and expense is the objective. Couples have the final say, which gives them ultimate control over any agreements. It is an effective alternative to having the final word on the subject handed down by a judge.

Improved communication is the goal of mediation. The divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who helps both parties come to a thorough agreement on various aspects of their divorce. It is often easier on the children since fights in court are eliminated. The couple divorcing may use a mediator lawyer or someone else well versed in divorce and family law. This method has several advantages, including:

  • Confidentiality is ensured.
  • Legal advice is still available.
  • The process is less expensive.
  • You and spouse control the process.
  • Mediation promotes clearer understanding.

Moreover, a mediated divorce is private where a divorce requiring litigation is open to the public.

Mediation Is Confidential

Often beginning with a phone call, the mediator will speak with you to get information regarding the family, your marriage and the issues at hand. At the first meeting, you may be asked to sign a confidentiality agreement. This might occur in a conference room or a comfortable office space. Everyone may be in the same room, or you may be meeting separately to discuss the issues in private.

Mediation Does Not Work for Everyone

If domestic violence is involved in the marriage, mediation probably isn’t the path to take. In addition, a mediator cannot order payments. Someone who wants to delay the proceedings or avoid paying support can be abusive of the process. They might agree to mediation in order to stall the divorce. In fact, if you are in search of decisions about support or other issues that need to be made early in your divorce, a court ruling may be the answer.

With an inexperienced mediator or one who is biased in favor of one side, this process may not work. A poorly drafted agreement can be challenged, so it is important to find a mediation lawyer with a thorough knowledge of family and divorce law.

Who Does Mediation Work Best For?

Two people who are able to show up and work toward compromise are the best candidates for mediation. At the start, you may not agree on certain points, but you should not give up on the process. When both parties are committed to it, this method can often resolve issues that seemed impossible to settle amicably.

Without the fighting, both you and your spouse could be happier, even through a divorce. Moreover, the effect of a peaceful divorce is better for your children and their happiness in the long run. When everyone is on board and committed, this settlement process is a powerful tool.

If you are thinking of hiring a divorce mediation lawyer for the dissolution of your marriage, give the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, PA, a call. You can reach us at (215) 886-1266 or send a fax to (215) 886-2670.

Sep 13

What to Do When Mediation Doesn’t Work

What Happens When Mediation Fails?

Research indicates that people are more likely to have a satisfactory outcome with their divorce when they use mediation instead of the courts, but this does not mean that mediation is the best choice for every couple. Knowing what to expect if your mediation fails can help you feel a lot more comfortable with the entire process.

How to Decide If Mediation Has Failed

When mediation does not go as smoothly as possible, your first instinct might be to decide it has failed and move on. However, it is important to take a breath and remember that it is still possible to use mediation even if you have had a disagreement or two. You may want to think twice about stopping mediation unless you notice one of these problems:

  • One person is constantly belittling or harassing the other.
  • Your mediation sessions go nowhere because you are sidetracked by arguments.
  • One party refuses to budge or compromise on any issues.
  • During sessions, one person never speaks or mentions their desires.
  • Belligerent tactics, like denying access to children or threatening to cut off funds, are being used.
  • One person repeatedly lies or fails to disclose important information.
  • Proceedings are being dragged out because one party does not want to divorce.

Considering Another Round of Mediation

Noticing problems in your current mediation session does not necessarily mean that you need to give up on mediation altogether. Sometimes, it is still possible to fix your mediation. You may want to consider starting fresh with another divorce mediation lawyer. Sometimes, no matter how talented an attorney is, his or her personality just might not be right for your situation. It can also be helpful to take a short break and get a more objective outlook on mediation. This can be a good solution when you and your ex really want the benefits of mediation but are just struggling to compromise and work with each other occasionally.

Trying the Collaborative Divorce Method

Mediation not working out does not necessarily mean you need to go straight to divorce court. Another useful option can be a collaborative divorce. Collaborative law shares some similarities with mediation since both procedures involve the two parties working together to find a mutually beneficial arrangement. However, instead of working with just one mediator, each party comes to the table with their own lawyer. This can be useful because you have someone to represent your interests and take your side in discussions. The collaborative divorce method also gets more input from other unbiased parties. You meet with professionals like child therapists and financial experts to discuss your situation and get more advice.

Moving on to a Divorce Trial

When there are things you simply cannot agree on, it might be time to take things to the courts. A judge can help find the best solution for any children and assist in dividing up assets in a fair and equitable way. Even when you do not agree on every part of the divorce, you can still file a no-fault divorce in Pennsylvania. This lets you have a shorter divorce time while still getting the court’s input on deciding important aspects of your divorce. Keep in mind that all your time in mediation was not wasted just because you are involving the court. It was still a valuable way of gathering information and learning more about you and your ex’s priorities and goals.

Find the Right Option for You With Joanne Kleiner

Whether or not mediation turns out to suit your situation, the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner is here to help. With over 25 years of experience, we have the knowledge and the dedication to try and get you the best possible outcome for your divorce. In addition to being a talented divorce mediation lawyer, Joanne Kleiner also assists with a variety of other family law cases. Call our office in Jenkintown at (215) 886-1266 or fill out our contact form to schedule a confidential consultation today.

May 17, 2012

Types of Divorce in Pennsylvania

Divorce law in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania provides for many approaches to divorce, as follows:

• Uncontested divorce. When spouses in a divorcing couple can agree on all the issues and do not site fault grounds, they file for an uncontested divorce.

• Contested divorce. A divorce in which the spouses disagree on issues such as child custody, visitation, spousal support and property division is contested. In a contested divorce you go to court to resolve the issues. A contested divorce can be an expensive and drawn-out process, and requires the assistance of an experienced Pennsylvania divorce attorney to get through the process.

• Collaborative divorce. A collaborative divorce allows couples to resolve their differences without going to court. In a spirit of cooperation, the spouses negotiate an agreement on the issues, and both parties are represented and advised by separate collaborative attorneys. Collaborative divorce is a completely voluntary process, and if either spouse opts to go to court, the process ends and the attorneys withdraw.

• Mediated divorce. Divorce mediation is a process in which a neutral third party helps the divorcing spouses to resolve disputes on the issues and reach an agreement.

• Legal separation. Pennsylvania has no such status as legal separation. However, a divorce attorney can prepare a separation agreement for you. The separation agreement is a legally binding document that offers protections for both spouses during the separation. The agreement can include provisions on property division, support and custody, and any issues covered in a divorce decree.

You don’t have to face a divorce alone

Each family is unique and has its own special needs. An experienced divorce attorney can help you determine the best approach to divorce for your family. Contact us online or call (215) 886-1266 and schedule a consultation to discuss your divorce needs.