Divorce Is Not Just About You

Divorce is an emotional and upsetting time. People going through a divorce are often filled with grief, anger, nervousness, pain and uncertainty. At times like that, it is difficult to think of others. Particularly when children are involved, however, it is vitally important to your family that you focus on the big picture when you are involved in a divorce or other family law matter.

Children will internalize their feelings and often will play off your behavior. Things you say in the heat of the moment may be permanently recorded in the minds of your children. Children may feel that they are being forced to choose between their parents, or that they are being disloyal to one parent when expressing love for the other parent. Moreover, when the dust settles, if you do have children, you will have to continue to co-parent the children for many years. In fact, the reality is that you will have to have some kind of relationship with your ex-spouse on issues regarding the children, as well as special events such as birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc.

If you can muster the strength to step back and see the big picture, your future, your family and your children, then you will be at an advantage and positioned to make excellent decisions. Remember, the decisions you make today will affect your life (and the life of your children) tomorrow. Similarly, the way you handle your conflict today will affect the relationship you have with your former spouse going forward. Your children, as well, will learn from the way you handle this situation.

During a time when emotions can get in the way of reason, it is a good idea to have someone you can trust, confide in, and will be your voice of reason during these emotional times. You need to make sure you understand the consequences of your actions, both the positive consequences and the negative consequences. If you have children, you will want to also make sure you understand the consequences to them.

Decisions about child support, child custody, visitation schedules and the distribution of property can all be related, and the decision regarding one, can affect the others. For that reason, it is highly advisable to retain an experienced attorney to assist you with understanding the legal ramifications of all your options and to advise you based on the knowledge and experience of your attorney.

At Joanne E. Kleiner & Associates, Ms. Kleiner brings more than 25 years experience of family law and divorce to the table. She is uniquely qualified to help you understand your options, properly advise you and help you achieve your goals. To discuss your divorce or family law matter in confidence with an experienced lawyer, please call Ms. Kleiner at 215-886-1266, or fill out an online intake form.

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Montgomery County Bar Association
Pennsylvania Bar Association
International Academy of Collaborative Professionals